Happy Wednesday and happy almost 2010. What a great year to start fresh!

As I said yesterday, I’m not big on New Year’s Resolutions but I’m going to commit to two:

Being brutally honest with myself and I’m not going to allow myself to bite the hook.

Or, in mantra form, “Don’t bite the hook!”

These words aren’t mine (they are Pema Chodron’s) and while I haven’t read any of her work, they strike such a chord with me.

Here’s why:

I think there’s two ways to become happier which I believe is why we’re all pursuing the things we do including weight loss and fitness.

1. To do more of what makes us feel good.

Meaning eat better, exercise more, sleep more, eat slower, eat more colors, call your loved ones more often, send thank you notes, treat people exactly how you’d want to be treated, connecting with another person, doing the right thing, offering someone your full attention, being gracious, helping someone, submitting your daily feedback at night and on and on.

(These are all the things we all know we should do but sometimes – and some more than others – don’t get around to because life gets in the way.)

2. To stop doing what makes us feel bad.

Meaning skipping exercise, not sleeping enough, eating what we feel like in the moment, not doing our daily feedback’s on time, waking up late, listening to our short term irrational self over our rational long term self, not being fully present, watching too much TV, comparing ourselves to others, procrastinating, wallowing, having a pity party, complaining, eating junk, not calling your loved ones and on and on.

(These are all the things that make us feel bad when we do them.)

The way I interpret, ‘Don’t bite the hook’ is to stop doing what you know will make you feel bad.

There are so many things we do big and small that take away from our happiness.

My resolution is to stop doing those things. To stop biting that ‘damn hook!’

Actually, I like my version better. It has a little more oomph to it.

‘Don’t bite that damn hook!’

So this coming year don’t focus so much on what you want to do, focus on what you want to do less of! Because if you stop doing what makes you unhappy, you’ll be pretty darn happy!

This will be my last daily inspiration of 2009. I will be in full force roaring to go on Monday January 4th and I hope you will be too.

If I don’t speak to you before tomorrow night, have a wonderful, fit, safe, and most importantly, happy new year!

Pretty slow week here. A lot of you are away and I hope you’re enjoying yourself! Lots of talk about New Year’s Resolutions lately and it’s making me cringe.

So here’s my take:

First off, let’s be honest here. I’m usually not feeling my best on January 1st because I went out the night before. So whatever I want to ‘start’ doesn’t begin until January 2nd. But then January 2nd doesn’t feel like a good day because it’s my first day back to whatever it is I’m doing.

This year, January 2nd is on a Saturday. Don’t know many people who’ve started worthwhile things on a Saturday. Not a good excuse but it’s true.

So I wait. And before I ever started, my resolution has dissolved.

I don’t know many people that have actually followed through on a New Year’s resolution either. Do you? Have you ever?

Largely because most resolutions are simply wishes. Not goals. As we know, a wish is a goal without a plan of action.

But the real reason why most people never make good on their resolutions (or promises to themselves) is because we human beings constantly rationalize. That’s how we make sense of this chaotic and insane world. Thankfully, it’s innate otherwise we wouldn’t be able to function.

Every moment of every day, you’re telling yourself a story of what’s going on around you. Your boss, your friends, your job, your clients, your students and even this very blog post you’re reading!

Either you’re mentally nodding in agreement with what I’m saying (if it fits your world view or how you see things) or you’re shaking your head in disagreement (because this doesn’t fit your world view).

All day long, you’re telling yourself a story of your own actions and rationalizing it against your perceived self (which is your ego). For example, if you think you’re a very ambitious and motivated person then anything you do that doesn’t fit into ‘being ambitious and motivated’ like watching endless hours of TV, or procrastinating for days on something pressing then you’ll rationalize that.

“Well, I need a break! I don’t want to over work myself, etc., etc, etc!”

Maybe if you’re self aware and honest enough with yourself you’re able to see right through your own crap.

Or maybe not and you’re delusional. It’s okay. We all are.

As I said in my post about ‘How to tell what someone really cares about’ some people believe that there is no relationship between what a person is and what a person does. This is bull secretion. Unless you are schizophrenic, you become your actions.

So what to do?

I think the only resolution you should make is to be brutally honest with yourself.

But of course, if you’re not, you’ll rationalize that too.

Never fear though. I’ll be right here with you every step of the way.

What are you giving yourself for the holidays this year?

You may have been extremely stressed (you might still be!) about getting all your friends and family members the gifts they want.

I know I am. And have been. But it’s worth it! Because giving is always better than receiving and I learned this at an early age. It’s truly fun to give!

But what about giving yourself something?!

I’m not big on things because things don’t make me happy. People and experiences and relationships do.

The things we hope we get, we hope (or think) they’ll make us happy. And they do! But for a short time. Until we naturally want the next thing. It’s not very fulfilling. Being obsessed with things is fleeting. It’s called the arrival fallacy.

So, the one gift I’d recommend you giving yourself, even if you already have it, is personal integrity. Being true to your deepest promises and desires.

Deep down we all want greatness (however you define it). We all aspire for awesome. I believe some have more grandiose goals but ask anyone the question of “What would you do if you won the lottery” or “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail” and all sorts of people will begin to fantasize.

Personal integrity doesn’t rely on a 1 in a 100 gazillion chance. It requires honesty and effort. That’s it.

What we all really want from anything we buy or do, is a feeling. A feeling of ‘beautiful’ or a feeling of ’sophistication’ or a feeling of ‘fun’ or a feeling of ‘healthy and fit’ or a feeling of ‘love’ or a feeling of ’sexy’…

Personal integrity will help you feel all of these things for free!

So where do you buy it?

Unfortunately, it’s not sold in stores or on TV. Not even late night infomercials sell it.

It has to come from within.

How do you get it?

Simply keep every little promise that enters your mind. No excuses. A promise as small as submitting your Daily Feedback every night right after your dinner to calling your loved ones every week to pursuing something that keeps you up at night.

This will absolutely, positively be the best holiday present you’ve ever given yourself!

Ho ho ho!

No need to call me Santa.

But there is a need for me to thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to do what I love doing! I don’t take it for granted for a second. And I hope you know that!

I wish you a very happy, healthy and fit holiday to you and your family!

All my best!

Onwards and upwards. The best is yet to come.

A client writes, “Wow, it’s hard to not want to let it all go and figure I can start anew in January. There are so many temptations! So many rationalizations! I just have to focus on one meal at a time.”

Here’s a solution: Instead of focusing on what you can’t eat, focus on what you can. Instead of focusing on eating perfectly MBT approved foods, focus on eating MBT approved foods 90% of the day.

I’m not saying you should give in. I’m not saying you should indulge.

But if the discomfort you’re facing is unbearable, why not pick and choose?

When I say discomfort, I’m referring to the internal chatter many of us have. “Should I have this? I shouldn’t have this! I want it though! I don’t want it!” That dialogue is not fun. And many times, we just give in to silence that chatter. Not because we want what we think we want!

For the next week or so, what if you focused instead on only picking one indulgence per day?

Then you can play the game of choosing what you indulge on and you won’t feel deprived. But remember, only one per day. So make sure it’s really interesting and it’s really worth it.

Don’t just give in because it’s in front of you.

Sometimes, picking and choosing your battles is much better than avoidance. Damage control is very powerful. Because if you expect to indulge, you’ll get away from the ‘all or nothing’ attitude many of us have, especially during this time of year.

Anyway we look at it, our body never lies. Eating 1 cookie is better than 2. Eating 1 hamburger is better than 2. Many of us get into this thinking that while we’re indulging, nothing counts and our body doesn’t register anything we eat.

Doing less of the bad things is as powerful as doing more of the good things.