In Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project – she set all sorts of resolutions for herself in order to try to make herself happier. (It worked!)

However, towards the end of her 1-year project she noticed that in some ways, she made herself less happy. She made herself far more aware of her faults and she felt more disappointed when she slipped up.

In her book she says, “Happiness doesn’t always make you feel happy,” and a heightened awareness of my failings, though salutary, wasn’t bringing me happiness in the short term – but in the long term, I was sure, I’d be happier as a consequence of behaving better.”

She was comforted by the words of Benjamin Franklin:

“On the whole, though I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet as I was, by the endeavor, a better and happier man than I otherwise should have been had I not attempted it.”

I’ve said many times ignorance is bliss. Because once you’re aware of something, it’s hard to ignore it.

Sure, it’s be easier to chain-smoke and watch TV all night eating whatever you please. Especially, if you don’t know any better.

But we all do know better. Obviously! And that’s what upsets me so much because there are so many people who do know better but can’t take the appropriate actions to get to where they want to be. They just can’t stick with it.

And when there’s a knowing or a desire without action, unhappiness ensues.

When you’re trying to improve something, you become aware of everything in that aspect. We notice what we want to notice.

However, that can lead to feeling unhappy or inferior. “Ugh, why bother?” we think. Or, when we do make the inevitable poor choices (we’re not robots!) we feel extra bad about it because we’re so aware of it!

But that doesn’t mean you should not try. I’m convinced (along with many others) trying will lead to far greater happiness than just accepting where you’re at with your health and fitness.

So next time you feel bad, and next time we point something out to you (try eating this or that, etc.) realize it’s only said with love.

There’s no such thing as perfection anyway. Only progress – and that feels awesome.

More awesome than just hoping and wishing.

This thought keeps popping up in my head: It’s so easy to succeed because it’s so easy to fail.

Meaning it’s so easy to just give in and have that junk food. It’s so easy to just say, “Forget it, I’ll go to the gym tomorrow.” It’s so easy to just have a greasy and fatty meal.

Most people give in. They can’t say no to themselves. They can’t resist.

But who is in control here?

The problem, though, is this attitude of giving in and being easy on ourselves is contagious. It spreads like wildfire to other aspects of our life.

“Well, I’ll just hand in my project at work…it is what it is.”

“Ahhh, I’ll stop studying now. I’ll pass the test.”

There’s a million examples in which going that extra few inches makes all of the difference. We face that choice of going that extra inch (or not) every single day.

Here’s an experiment:

Raise your hand in the air.

Now raise it one inch higher.

See what happens when we’re pushed? We can always try a little harder. We can always be pushed a little more.

It’s that inch, that extra effort, that makes all of the difference.

It’s so easy to succeed because it’s so easy to fail. It’s so easy to just give up. It’s so easy to just stop running when your legs hurt. It’s so easy to just say, “YESSS! I want that junk food!”

But when we’re hard on ourselves, life is easier.

And it’s the hard that makes it great. It’s the hard that brings us the satisfaction and fulfillment and sense of accomplishment.

That = joy.

And if it was easy everyone would do it. But nothing worth doing is easy. Because if everyone could do it, it wouldn’t be valuable. Scarcity = valuable.

Go that extra inch today. Push yourself a little bit harder. Say NO to something you’d usually say YES to.

That inch is where all the joy is in.

Enjoy it.

Getting the body you want is about 3 things. Eating right. Exercising. And doing those two things consistently.

Unfortunately, it’s the consistency part that’s so hard.

Besides the usual culprits like rationalizing, procrastinating and justifying, consistency is also so hard because it can get boring.

Variety is the spice of life, right? Not in our case.

Because consistency can get boring we bounce from one fad diet to the next, always in search of the next revolutionary program.

However, we all know deep down, the key to success is to do the right things over and over and over and over again.

No matter what diet, or what program or what “magic pill” (they don’t exist!) you take, you’re going to have to do the actual work. And the actual work means eating right, eating less, and moving more..consistently.

There is no escaping this!

I repeat: You can’t escape the work. Just like I can’t ski down a mountain safely without turning, you can’t escape the work…if you want results.

A few clients from time to time ask me if I get bored of what I do. “Do you really care what I eat? Do you really care about my daily feedback?”

It’s an honest question.

The answer is absolutely! Because I know each daily feedback will lead you one step closer to where you want to be. Each daily feedback is a critical part of the journey.

Every meal counts. Every workout counts.

And what really drives me, and what I really love, is the thrill I get when you email me and say “Damn! This is working!” “My pants feel loose!” “I hate you. I have to buy new clothes!” That’s what makes me get out of bed in the morning. That’s what keeps me up at night.

Because I know you can’t escape the discomfort nor the day to day consistency which isn’t sexy whatsoever. But it’s extremely effective.

And because it’s so easy to avoid the inevitable – being consistent – I know daily and personal support is what makes all of the difference.

No one said it’s easy. Nor sexy.

But ask anyone who’s pursued anything worth pursuing (usually, things that are hard to obtain) and they’re certainly convinced it’s worth it.

In short: Embrace the consistency. And when it feels a little boring, that’s your time to lean in even more and make more change happen.

Because like our moods, we have ups and downs. And when we’re up, it feels easy.

But when it’s easy, we quickly forget about the inevitable downs that 9.9 times out of 10 knock us off our tracks for good.

Until we start something else and repeat the cycle over and over again.

Not on my watch.

Meta-cognition is defined as “cognition about cognition,” or, “knowing about knowing.” What the heck am I talking about you ask?

In other words: it’s thinking about your own thinking.

Some people out there suggest that you should try to control your own thoughts. Trying to control my thoughts seems pretty ridiculous to me though. How can you control your thoughts?

I have no idea. That’s like trying to control the wind. It ain’t happening. Having thoughts is what your mind is for. They just pop up.

But what I do believe we can do is control how we react to our thoughts. Big difference.

Thinking is a beautiful thing. And problems (or suffering) only occur when you get caught up on a particular thought.

Being aware of your own thinking is very valuable.

For example, do you always worry? Do you always assume the worst? Are you overly forgiving of yourself?

There are definite patterns we all have. If you tend to turn hiccups into huge deals and worry (for no reason) realize that’s what you do.

If you obsess over things realize this.

If you’re very forgetful don’t forget that. Ha! (Start writing things down)

The more you can be aware of your own thinking the better off you’ll be.

According to scientists the new crucial skill to making good decisions is the ability to think about your own thinking. Unless you reflect on how you’re making decisions, you won’t be able to use your instincts or gut.

According to psychologist Philip Tetlock the best predictor of good judgment isn’t intuition or experience or intelligence. It’s the willingness to engage in introspection.

Our thinking is extremely faulty. And it’s important you realize this.

Check this:

This game we’re about to play only has one rule. Don’t think about white bears. You can think about anything but white bears. Ready?

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Now banish the animals from your head.

You just lost the game! (It’s okay everyone loses the game.)

That’s what happens. Try to avoid thinking about a white bear and that thing will come to mind every minute. In fact, whenever we try not to think about something, be it ice cream or bears that thing comes to mind. Stuck in our loop of self-consciousness.

Our mind backfires. Our attempts at repressing the thought turn into a fixation.

But being aware of this is the first step – that our mind fixates on things – you can learn to not listen or trust your thoughts. You can realize that your thoughts are just thoughts.

You don’t have to necessarily react to them. You don’t have to believe them. You don’t have to act on them.

Just realizing that’s what our mind does can be hugely helpful.

2 examples:

1. Let’s say a family member doesn’t call you back. You can go into a tail spin of thinking about why they haven’t called you back. You can (and will) create all sorts of stories about what might have happened and the reasons why.

Or – you can just realize that our mind is faulty and creates all sorts of stories and that you shouldn’t believe any of them. In fact, you should just laugh at your thoughts and not pay attention to them because this is what your mind does.

2. You fixate on a certain food. Therefore, you fixate on it even more. Realize your mind is going to torture you. And play tricks on you. Being aware of this helps a lot. “Fine – let me obsess over this piece of food. I know that’s what’s going to happen. But I won’t listen to you mind! Because I know in a little while, I’ll have forgotten all about you!”

Make sense?

Make it a mindful and thoughtful day!