Memorial Day Weekend is upon us! That means lots of temptations, lots of bbq’s and lots of ice cream.

Hopefully, that leads to a lot of, “No thank yous!”

Today’s inspiration is a guest inspiration. It’s from a client named Randy, and he’s doing really well so far. It’s always fun to witness the transformation in a client’s energy via their emails and how they talk and write. He sent the below to me the other day and suggested I use it as inspiration.

Anyway, without further ado here’s Randy:

As a new client who is enjoying Adam’s coaching, I have been watching my behavior to see what I’m consciously changing and how I can best develop new habits. So far, the notion of really asking myself why am I about to eat is powerful. Two thirds of my eating impulses from 3pm on and three quarters of them after 7pm were habit, boredom, or to make me feel better. Thanks to Adam and the MyBodyTutor principles, I know what to do with these impulses now.

Before I became serious about losing the rest of my gut and laying down the hard goal of seeing abs by age forty, I would find it odd to be out with one of my really fit friends who, when asked to share a dessert or have an ice cream or partake in a pastry with coffee, would constantly say no.

I used to think that he was a bit of a “Mr. No Fun”. Handsome, cut, ripped, but how was he living without enjoying at least some of that sugary food?

Three weeks into the MBT program I was seeing great results. A string of 5-star eating days and 5-star workout days had me on a roll and I was seeing ribs I hadn’t seen in…well a long time! That same day I really noticed my progress, I went out with some friends, and they ordered a number of delicious desserts to share.

When the friend who was handing out portions passed one for me, I smiled and said no. They were surprised and I gently but firmly commented that I wasn’t hungry. When pressed, I explained that I had some training goals in mind that the coffee would be fine.

I realized in that moment of saying no I was really saying yes to myself.

I said yes to my plan, and yes to consistency. I said yes to the guy I want to see tanning, strolling and running on the beach this summer in France for my fortieth birthday. I realized that all of us who stick to our goals say no but mean yes many times each day.

So next time you say no to the lemon tart, to the mochachino with whipped cream or the triple chocolate geleto cone, smile, knowing that on the inside, you are saying yes.

Your decision to say no but mean yes will make all the difference.

* *

I think that’s a perfect inspiration and a great way to think about the choices we’re going to face this weekend!

When shit hits the fan, and it always does, the first thing we forget about is our health and fitness. When we’re very stressed, typically, our food intake shows it.

That’s why I talk/write about so many themes.

When we’re stressed, it affects our eating and exercise. When other areas of our life are suffering – it affects our eating and exercise, too. There’s no question about it.

I’ve spent hours on the phone and via email going back and forth with clients talking nothing about their health and fitness. Yet, it has everything to do with their health and fitness.

So here’s my 2 arrow approach to life:

When something bad happens to us, it’s as if we’re hit by 2 arrows. The bad/stressful/annoying/unhappy/sad/scary/hurtful thing is usually very real. Let’s call that the first arrow.

For example, if we get into a car accident, it’s at the very least, very annoying. This is the first dart.

We then might start to think how unlucky we are, how we can’t catch a break, why we even left at that time, why we took that particular route, and we keep replaying the incident in our heads. That is the second arrow.

The second arrow is so treacherous because we don’t realize we have control over it.

We can try to structure our life in a way that minimizes our chance of getting hit by arrows, or we can deliberately practice how we’re affected by the second arrow.

The best way to practice this is to be conscious of when we’re indulging in self-pity, and re-playing and realizing that this pain is within our control. These are the second arrows.

See what happens when you focus on the second arrow. Just being aware of it can make a huge difference.

——> ——->

I talk and write a lot about monsters. I even write about the ‘Laundry Monster’ on the MBT website.

In the the case of doing laundry, well, I hate doing it. And no matter how many times I promise myself I won’t let it build up, I always do. I wind up using every sheet for my bed possible, and every pair of random socks and underwear I can find.

It becomes a ‘Laundry Monster’ because I become terrified of doing it. There is just so much! To make matters worse, the laundry room is in the basement of my building. So, I can potentially lug all of my clothes downstairs and washing machines might not even be available! Ugh!

But each and every time I do it – I always think something along the lines of, “this isn’t so bad!” In fact, the satisfaction of having all my laundry folded up including my socks in little balls, and knowing my clothes are clean is priceless.

I just let it build up ’til it becomes this (what seems like a) daunting task.

However, if I take the clothes from the hamper and put them into a washing machine and add detergent and then put those clothes into a dryer – one step a time – it’s very doable and dare I say – almost enjoyable!

The laundry monster is a perfect analogy for our ‘Health and Fitness Monster’ too. Like any monster when we attack it – it always feels incredible. The trick is to not let the monster build up!

Which means obeying the two day rule of exercise. You can skip one day – but you can’t skip 2 days in a row. (The exercise monster builds up quickly!)

Which means obeying the grocery store rule. You can’t expect to eat healthfully, if you don’t have healthy foods available. Get to the store and attack that ‘grocery store’ monster.

We all have other monsters, too. Whether it’s work related, house related, relationship related, etc. Not attacking them adds a level of stress and anxiety to our lives. We think about it so we put a band-aid on it. We start to take action but we figure out a temporary solution (ah, I can wear this t-shirt from 5th grade! Laundry can wait!).

My Monday challenge for you is to attack full force any “Monsters” that you may have lingering. They can be as simple as a closet that needs to be cleaned to a big project for work to a tough conversation you need to have with a loved one or maybe you just need to get to the store!

Whatever you know that needs to get done – that you keep putting off – why not do it this week?

If not now, when?

Just start with one step today! Attack it for 10 minutes. Make those 10 minutes your monster!

You’ll be glad you did and you’ll realize it’s not nearly as bad as you thought it was going to be.

The less ‘Monsters’ you have, the less anxious you’ll be. The less anxious you are, the less likely you’ll be to eat emotionally, mindlessly or habitually!

Attack those monsters!

Let’s go! I got your back!

America has become a food fun house of sugary, salty and fatty delights.

The ultimate question is: Do you feel happier when you eat this junk?

When we eat junk, the feelings we get are very momentary. We can create one more moment of good feeling but it never lasts, of course. In fact, the moment we’re done eating the junk the good feelings fade.

It’s very fleeting.

And this right here is the classic description of the body’s reward system. The good feeling we get is very short lived. It’s what makes the behavior reinforcing. Because it doesn’t last, we want to do it again!

We have all been conditioned by food and the cues that remind us of that food. It focuses our attention, promotes anticipation and builds desire.

Large companies have done an incredible job designing foods that capture our attention. They absolutely know that sugar, salt and fat sell!

For 1000’s of years human body weight stayed very stable. Millions of calories passed through our bodies, yet with rare exceptions our weight neither rose nor fell. A perfect biological system seemed to be at work.

Then in 1980 something changed. Our population was getting bigger.

In 1960, when weight was still relatively stable in America, women ages 20 – 29 averaged about 128 pounds. By 2000 – the average weight of women in that age group had reached 157!

A similar trend was apparent in 40 – 49 year olds. In 1960 the average was 142. In 2000 the average was 169!

We were entering our adult years at a significantly higher weight, reflecting the gains that had taken place during childhood and adolescence. And from age 20 – 40 many of us kept gaining. Rather than a few pounds, the average adult man was gaining more than a dozen pounds in those years.

While on average everyone was getting heavier, the heaviest people in the population were gaining disproportionately more weight than others.

What happened?

Certainly food has become more readily available in the 1970’s and 1980’s. We have larger portion sizes, more chain restaurants, more local food places and a culture that promotes out-of-home eating.

But what’s been driving us to overeat?

This is because eating certain foods (those that contain lots of sugar, salt and fat) makes us want to eat more of them, whether we’re hungry or not.

The more sugar, salt and fat we eat – the more sugar, salt and fat we’re going to want to eat!

It’s no longer about hunger!

It’s about ‘rewarding’ our body. The more we eat crap that contains that stuff – the more we’re continuing to ‘reward’ the body and the more our body is going to crave that ‘reward’.

Keep that in mind. Your perpetuating the problem. Kind of like giving money to a homeless person. 9 times out of 10 they’re going to use it to buy alcohol.

Just like they need to be rehabilitated so do we. Like anything – the best way to start is to start small.

With your very next craving. Don’t give in to it. Don’t listen to it. Don’t believe it.

Let your mind play tricks on you. Let your mind obsess over a certain piece of food. Laugh at it.

But don’t give in.

Try brushing your teeth, eating fruit, drinking water, chewing gum or consuming yourself with a job or a hobby or a project!

One fight at a time you can break the cue, urge, craving, habit cycle that’s oh so vicious.