Let’s talk about reality. Not reality TV – I watch too much of it. I’m talking about reality – life.

Reality is always worth talking about.

When our life feels like it’s all out of whack, our diet and exercise tends to mimic that. When we’re all stressed or upset or anxious about something we tend to forget about everything else.

Whenever we’re unhappy about something that’s out of our control we are fighting reality. Whether it’s traffic, people in our life, weather, and a million other things. Anything that we can’t control is what I call fighting reality.

The more we become a lover of reality the happier we’ll be. And the less we’ll suffer.

Loving what is – is extremely important. The more we love what is – which is reality – the less anxious we’ll be.

Why bother loving reality or what is? Because no amount of wishing or hoping will change it. No matter how much we hope or wish, we can’t change things we can’t control.

But why we insist? “Why is this happening? Why did it happen? Why is it like this? Why is the bus late!?! Why is there so much traffic!?!? Why is he like that?! Why is my kid misbehaving?! Why is she so unappreciative! Why is he such a jerk!? Why is my boss so mean?!”

Cats meow and dogs bark! And whatever happened happened. No amount of fighting or hoping can or will change it.

The sooner we become a lover of reality, of accepting what is, the happier we’ll be and the less we’ll suffer,

Fighting reality is like hoping a cat will bark and a dog will meow.

Believe me. Don’t think for a second I don’t freak out! Everything I write is aspirational.

However, I do believe we should try to make the best of our lives, though. And I do believe we should try to not dwell on things we can’t control.

For me, saying, “Cats meow, dogs bark and whatever happened happened” helps me puts things into perspective. It reminds that it is what it is.

A cat will always meow. A dog will always bark. And reality…will always be reality.

Besides, I find that focusing on things we can control, and actually taking control, is far more empowering.

The less we fight reality, and love what is, the the less we’ll suffer and the happier we’ll be.

And the happier we are, the less emotional eating we’ll do and the less our health and fitness will suffer!

I hope you had a great weekend! Coming back to reality can be stressful if you’re not prepared for it.

Just like bodies in motion stay in motion – when we get into a rut, it becomes easier to stay in a rut.

When you fall into the habit of overeating it gets easier to repeat that behavior. One binge can lead to three.

One episode of late night emotional eating can lead to a whole week of late night emotional eating.

When our brain is under stress there is a vicious cycle that gets created. In a study of chronically stressed rats the brains atrophied in the areas of decision making, while becoming overly developed in the area of habit formation.

Scientists note that behaviors become habitually faster in stressed animals than in the controls, and worse, the stressed animals can’t shift back to goal-directed behaviors when that would be the better approach. <--- A.K.A. a vicious cycle.

This might explain why when we're under stress we abandon all that we know - and all that we consciously want to do and fall back into old habits.

Scientists note that we're lousy at recognizing when our normal coping mechanisms aren't working. Our response is usually to do it five times more, instead of thinking, maybe it's time to try something new. <--- A.K.A. the definition of insanity --> Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.

So, even though overeating doesn’t really help us feel better, we can’t stop ourselves from continuing to do it because we’re used to doing that when we we’re stressed. It’s simply how our brains are wired to act when we’re under stress.

Although stress is a huge killer and leads to many diseases it’s also necessary for us to survive.

Fortunately, we no longer stress about what our ancestors did.

Our bodies have the most complex systems on Earth. What’s the benefit of our brain being prone to habit formation anyway? (I’m a nerd. I think about these things.)

Perhaps to help shift as many behaviors as possible over to automatic pilot so we can better focus on the crisis at hand.

And even if the crisis at hand is our boss yelling at us or our kids being disrespectful – if we feel stressed, we’re stressed. Perception is reality.

What to do?

Besides, taking a vacation and changing up your routine for a bit which can rewire your brain there is also a big opportunity for us to change.

If you can plan ahead what you’ll do before you’re stressed and actually start doing it when you’re stressed it’ll become a habit as well.

Our biggest opportunities for growth are always when we’re most uncomfortable.

Here are 5 ideas:

1. Listen to music.

2. Gather a few favorite emails or youtube videos that make you smile and read and watch the videos when you’re stressed. Be sure to save them all in one place so they’re easy to get to.

3. Get up. Take a big deep breath. Go for a 15 minute walk.

4. Read a juicy gossip blog that might make you feel otherwise guilty for doing so. (You’ll feel way less guilty reading than eating!)

5. Call your favorite person.

Pick one and try it next time. But instead of stressing how you’re actually going to do this each time you’re stressed, let’s make it simple: The very next time you feel stressed, try one of these. That’s it.

In one of my favorite business books, Good to Great by Jim Collins, there is a quote that I read every day. It’s on my wall so I can’t help but read it.

Here’s the quote: “Good is the enemy of great.”

Meaning it’s so easy to settle for good. But good is not good enough in business. We must strive for great.

On the other hand, many clients always say things like, “I ate perfectly until dinner and then I ate really bad so I said screw it. It doesn’t matter anymore. I already messed up!”

I must admit. I am a recovering perfectionist. And being a perfectionist is not a good thing.

I still have tendencies but I’m getting better. I’m progressing.

Having the attitude of, “I ate really well all day but for dinner I just had something that’s not MBT approved so now I’ll eat unhealthy for the rest of the night” isn’t good.

If we play the all or nothing game, we always end up with nothing. It’s why I don’t like making absolute statements such as, “I’ll never do xyz again!”

Instead, focus on doing xyz less.

There is no such thing as perfection…

There is only progress!

And that’s what life is about. Moving forward, growing, and evolving.

In fact, being a perfectionist is a childlike way of living.

We are not children. We are adults in control. We are more powerful than we think. (I know – I sound like a corny motivational speaker but it’s the truth!)

Being a perfectionist and having the “If I can’t be perfect, I’d rather be fat” attitude suggests that the only position worth having in life is being the winner.

No one likes playing games with a sore loser.

So, if we can’t be the winner, we shouldn’t bother playing the game?

That is a childlike way of thinking. It means that any small improvements in our weight, shape, mobility, and breathing are unimportant.

No one created the company of their dreams overnight. And no one created the body of their dreams overnight.

Day by day. Meal by meal. Workout by workout. Improvement by improvement. Daily Feedback by Daily Feedback.

Progress. NOT perfection.

I repeat:

Progress. NOT perfection.

There is no question about it – when we eat nutritiously, we’re a lot more energized. And when we make time to exercise, and actually get our workouts in – we feel even more energized!

So I’m going on a vacation. And I can really use it! But here’s the catch: I want you to join me!

Well, I’m not really going on vacation. I’m taking a vacation from myself.

There are many things I do that I want to change. Many habits, actions, etc.

For example, what’s the first thing you do when you have an intense craving for chocolate?

Do you give in? Or do you reach for fruit? What if for just this week you only reached for fruit?

Do you wake up as early as you want to? What if for just the next 4 days you woke up a tad earlier?

Do you cook yourself a healthy breakfast? What if for just the next 4 days you made yourself a healthy breakfast?

Do you submit your Daily Feedback right after your last meal? What if for the next 5 days, as soon as you’re done with dinner – you flossed, brushed your teeth, used mouth wash then logged on and filled out your feedback and then did the dishes? (Close that kitchen!)

What if you submitted your feedback even before dinner so you have to eat what you said you were going to eat! (The more you plan ahead the better.)

Do you keep all of your promises? What if for just a week, you kept every promise you made to yourself and others?

What if for just a week, you didn’t give in to any impulses and only ate whole, natural and real food?

Can I go on and on? Yes. But I think you get the point. I’m not asking you to do these things forever. I’m asking you to try it for a week. 5 days!

And I want you to see how you feel after 5 days. We’re taking a vacation from ourselves.

So if you do something that you’d love to change, instead of talking about it or writing about it, just be about it!

Starting this very moment! Unfortunately, all vacations come to an end. But we’ll deal with that when the time comes…

See you in paradise!