Why a client would want to quit after only 1 week AND losing weight

There's a story about a guy who attends a weight loss seminar, and complains to the keynote speaker that, despite trying everything, he can't lose weight.

"You've tried everything?" asks the speaker.

"Everything," the guy replies.

"What were the last hundred things you tried?" asks the speaker.

"Well," the guy admits, "I haven't actually tried a hundred things."

"Then what were the last twenty-five things you did?" asks the speaker.

"I haven't tried twenty-five things, really, either," the guy responds.

"So how many things have you actually tried?" asks the speaker.

"Well," says the guy, sheepishly, "maybe five or six."

**

When Jeff first signed up, he told me he had tried everything and nothing worked. Naturally that excited me. It's always fun to see if MBT is as effective as I believe/know it is.

What happened?

After a week of working with him he wanted to quit! And remember before Jeff started, he had told me that no matter what he's done in the past, he couldn't lose weight!

I was astonished.

You know why?

In our first week together, we LOST 3 pounds!

[This is also why a few people have wanted to quit the program WITHOUT even trying it! They'll sign up, have their initial phone consult, and then decide it's not for them. And with EACH and EVERY instance - it came down to fear. And I'm proud to say all of those people went onto reach their goal and then some. By helping them understand their behavior, they had a breakthrough and were able to push through their former patterns and behavior. Otherwise, they would have been seven diets removed from MBT - not having been able to stick to any of them.]

This is fascinating to me...

This is all part of human behavior. This is what keeps me so interested in this game.

I love exploring the psychological reasons behind our actions. After all, it's ALL psychological.

Let's talk about cognitive dissonance...

This happens when we have two conflicting desires. For example, smoking. It is well known that smoking cigarettes can cause lung cancer yet every person I've ever met wants to live a long, healthy and fit life. But the short term / irrational mind of a smoker enjoys it, and wants to smoke.

The uncomfortable tension caused by these two opposing desires is known as dissonance. As humans, we look to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling. This is known as dissonance reduction.

The only way to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling is by a) quitting smoking b) denying that people actually get sick from smoking or c) justifying and rationalizing.

For example, a smoker could rationalize their behavior by believing that few people get sick from smoking, it only happens to people who smoke more than they do, if smoking doesn't kill them something else will, they'll quit next year, they only live once and they deserve to smoke or it's too expensive to quit (amazing to me how cheap people are with themselves when it comes to their own health and fitness. Yet, they'll gladly spend money on restaurants, stuff, activities, etc. Everything means NOTHING without our health and fitness).

In essence, they either need to take action (quit smoking and get whatever help they need <---- this is very hard!) or they need to make themselves feel better by rationalizing their smoking, and do the easiest thing of all -- do nothing at all. (<---this is much easier and that's why most people do it).

Knowing this, let's talk about why Jeff who has "tried everything" to lose weight, and finally did with MBT, wants to quit the program.

I'll tell you why:

F.E.A.R.

It comes down to either fear of change, fear of failure or fear of success.

Everything he says boils down to fear.

There's an old saying that I love:

"The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed."

In this case because Jeff actually succeeded, he realized he was going to have to change for the long term. And unfortunately, real change is uncomfortable.

He got scared.

Because deep down, Jeff wasn't ready to really change. He didn't think MBT would actually work. So he wasn't prepared to let go of emotional eating.

In his mind, he needs to emotionally eat and he can't imagine life without doing so.

His success made him fear the change.

So now, Jeff is coming up with all sorts of excuses because he really doesn't want to change. His main excuse is that now is not the right time to lose weight.

Interesting.

Because he wants to change - but sorta doesn't want to change - that's causing a lot of dissonance or tension or discomfort (whatever you want to call it).

He has to get rid of that discomfort somehow...so he'll find anything and latch on to it so he can ease the tension.

(Ahhh yes...I'm too busy to focus on my health and fitness. Now is not the right time. I'll wait until the stars are aligned. Yes!!! Whew. Now I can rationalize my excuse - and not feel as bad and quit the program so I don't have to change...because I'm really scared to change.)

The real problem ISN'T that it takes so much time to be BE and ACT healthy. We make time for what's important to us.

The real problem is that he doesn't want to actually change. He rather just talk about changing. (We'll work on this.)

Instead of criticizing or shaming him like so many people out there would do (because it's the obvious and easy thing to do), it's far more effective to help him understand his own behavior. (Shaming or criticizing never leads to long lasting change.)

Fighting human nature is silly.

Instead, when we understand what's going on around us, it makes it a lot easier to call it what it is and move forward.

-Adam

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No More Excuses. It's time to invest in yourself. Join my program today at MyBodyTutor.com!