I do a lot of reading on many different topics because health and fitness is comprised of so many different subjects. (This is why it drives me crazy when “experts” think we live in a vacuum. Every area of our life impacts our health and fitness.)

Anyway, one of my favorite subjects to read about is very successful people who use food.

So when I came across an article about Monica Seles, and her binge eating, I was intrigued.

It was a story about her life after tennis. As many of you know, she was the top ranked female tennis player in the world. Sports reporters said she had the potential to be the best tennis player of all time.

And then…

A man stabbed her during a match.

And then…

Her father passed away from cancer.

She began to rely on food. She quietly became a binge eater.

In her interview, Monica said, “I just didn’t want to feel! Food was there for me from 7AM to 11PM. I’d do anything to numb myself and food was so reliable.”

Binge eating is emotional eating on steroids. And if we’re not binge eating then we’re emotionally eating from time to time. We all do.

Emotionally eating is eating to change the way we feel. Most commonly, eating when we’re not actually physically hungry.

Maybe we don’t realize how often we eat when we’re not physically hungry, but once we do, it’s shocking how often we eat emotionally.

Mike Tyson Has Some Great Quotes…

One of my favorites, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.”

And as I always like to say, “If we fail to plan then we plan to fail.” (Hmm…this is weird. I’m quoting myself!)

But, of course, all the planning in the world doesn’t help when impulses and emotions get the best of us.

For some reason we’re scared to feel. We’ve been conditioned from childhood to not feel.

“Stop crying,” “Here’s a cookie,” “Stop complaining,” “This won’t matter next week” …and then, we’d find a way to distract ourselves by playing outside or calling a friend, or playing video games, etc…

However, as adults, it’s not as easy to play outside or call a friend or play video games…

Whether it’s our annoying boss at work upsetting us, our significant other, kids, our job, and on and on and on…

If we never let ourselves feel, we’ll never get to the root cause of why we’re emotionally eating.

So this week, let’s work on F-E-E-L-I-N-G.

It sounds so corny and trite but actually acknowledging our feelings will help a lot.

For example…

Your boss is making you do something you don’t want to do.

Instead of grabbing food to deal with the discomfort, why not acknowledge it? “Ugh, right now I hate my boss because I really don’t want to do this. But I  know this will pass.”

Corny but helpful!

Another example…

Your kids aren’t being appreciate or your s/o isnt…

Instead of eating our sorrows away, how about acknowledging it? “Ugh, my kids are being so ungrateful right now. My s/o is being so ungrateful right now. But I know this feeling will pass. And I know they aren’t always like this but right now it’s really bothering me.”

And when we do that, we won’t be as “hungry”. Because as we know, it’s not physical hunger anyway.

And then maybe, just maybe, we can deal with the real issue at hand.

As Monica Seles said, and as we all know, “binging and overeating never feels good. It’s a mask. A very, very itchy mask.”

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The brutal reality?

Everyone is an emotional eater to some extent. There are times when we need the relief, reward and distraction food can provide. But if it is too strong a habit, emotional eating becomes a problem that must be addressed—or else it can last a lifetime.

And that is why so many people lose and gain and lose and gain and lose and gain weight. It truly is a vicious cycle unless we deal with it.

Why not consider MyBodyTutor to help you deal with it? I’d love to help you!

Let’s get right into it on this second day of Summer.

I think (actually, I know) asking ourselves this question will help us to figure out if we’re eating for the right reasons. (Remember: Physical VS. Emotional hunger.)

Here’s the question…

“Am I using this food or am I eating this food?”

Here’s what I mean.

We tend to use food for entertainment, pleasure, comfort, security, etc., instead of eating food to make us feel energized, satisfied, healthy and vibrant.

BIG difference in using vs. eating.

“Awesome question, Adam. Super helpful!”

“But what if I’m about to “USE” food? What shall I do?” you ask.

Questions…

I’m a huge fan of questions. Asking ourselves the right questions helps to change our perspective. And that’s the idea. It’s ALL about perspective.

So, you’re about to USE food…

Ask yourself:

1. What’s really bothering me? What am I really hungry for? (It’s never about the food.)

2. What can I do about it?

3. WHY don’t I do anything about it?

The third question is the kicker. Because while it’s easier in the moment to do nothing, we both know that suppressing our feelings is like ignoring the most annoying and persistent door to door salesman ever…

They will keep on knocking and keep on coming back until we open the door!

The sooner we deal with whatever it is — the sooner, we can move forward.

And, amazingly, the cravings will start to go away too.

Fitness is a decision.

But here’s the kicker: It’s a decision we make every day. And sometimes, clients tell me they’re not in the mood for it. Sometimes, I’m not in the mood for it, either.

But what’s “it”?

Why do we need to be in the mood for something to do the work?

And yes, it’s work.

Existing isn’t work. But living? That’s work. Thriving? That’s a lot of work.

It’s called work because it’s difficult. Not because we need to be in the mood for it.

Very few people wake up each day in the mood to eat healthfully or in the mood to exercise.

Besides, most of the world’s work is done by people who didn’t feeling like getting out of bed in the morning…

People aren’t usually in the mood to embrace the discomfort, or in the mood to be brutally honest with themselves which can be quite uncomfortable too.

Of course, what we’re in the mood for is irrelevant to how our body performs or how we exist, look, live or thrive.

Let’s not pay so much attention to what we’re in the mood for. Let’s pay attention to the work.

Then when we’re thriving, we’ll be in the mood to continue thriving.

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If you’re often “not in the mood” I’d strongly suggest you consider a program that offers daily and personal accountability, daily support and a system to monitor and track your progress. It’s truly amazing what it will do for you.

The only program I know of is mine: http://www.mybodytutor.com/pages/ Yes, I’m biased. But I believe 1000% in what I do. Otherwise, I wouldn’t spend my life doing this.

Few questions to think about…

1. Do you think underperforming students who are paired with students who excel in school (even though at times, they might feel inferior compared to the better student) do better or worse than those underperforming students who aren’t paired with anyone?

(Wow that was a long sentence. Here’s another one for ya…)

2. Do you think small business owners (who want to own a large business) who are paired with successful large business owners (even though at times, they might feel inferior compared to the big business owner) do better or worse than those small business owners who only hang around other small business owners?

In Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project – she set all sorts of resolutions for herself in order to try to make herself happier. (Spoiler alert: it worked!)

However, towards the end of her one year project she noticed that in some ways, she made herself less happy. How so? Well, because she was trying to improve, she was more aware of her faults and so she felt more disappointed when she slipped up.

In her book, she writes, “Happiness doesn’t always make you feel happy, and a heightened awareness of my failings, though salutary, wasn’t bringing me happiness in the short term – but in the long term, I was sure, I’d be happier as a consequence of behaving better.”

She was comforted by the words of Benjamin Franklin:

“On the whole, though I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet as I was, by the endeavor, a better and happier man than I otherwise should have been had I not attempted it.”

I’ve said many times ignorance is bliss. Because once you’re aware of something, it’s hard to ignore it.

Sure, it’d be easier to watch TV all night, eating whatever we please.

Especially, if we don’t know any better.

But we all do know better. Obviously!

And when there’s a knowing or a desire without action, unhappiness ensues.

When we’re trying to improve something, we become aware of everything in that aspect. We notice what we focus on.

However, that can lead to feeling unhappy or inferior. “Ugh, why bother?” we think. Or, when we do make the inevitable poor choices (we’re not robots!) we feel extra bad about it because we’re so aware of it.

But that doesn’t mean trying isn’t worthwhile. I’m convinced (along with many, many others) trying will lead to far greater happiness than just accepting where we’re at with our health and fitness.

So next time we feel bad, and next time we point something out to you (try eating this or that, etc.) realize it’s only said with love.

There’s no such thing as perfection anyway. Only progress – and that feels awesome.

More awesome than just hoping and wishing.

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If consistency were easy, we’d all do it! (I understand this sounds very self-serving BUT it’s the truth. Otherwise, 2/3 of America wouldn’t be overweight.)

A big reason why our clients are so successful is because they receive DAILY encouragement, support and motivation to ensure they keep on going. Because, as we all know — keeping on going is the real key to success. Learn more about my program by clicking here. I’d love to make you our next success story!