There’s a story about a woman who attends a weight loss seminar, and complains to the keynote speaker that, despite trying everything, she can’t lose weight.

“You’ve tried everything?” asks the speaker.

“Everything,” the woman replies.

“What were the last hundred things you tried?” asks the speaker.

“Well,” the woman admits, “I haven’t actually tried a hundred things.”

“Then what were the last twenty-five things you did?” asks the speaker.

“I haven’t tried twenty-five things, really, either,” the woman responds.

“So how many things have you actually tried?” asks the speaker.

“Well,” says the woman, sheepishly, “maybe five or six.”

**

When Katie first signed up, she told me she had tried everything and nothing worked. Naturally that excited me. It’s always fun to see if MBT is as effective as I believe/know it is.

What happened?

After a week of working with her she wanted to quit! And remember before Katie started, she had told me that no matter what she’s done in the past, she couldn’t lose weight!

Remember: It’s very easy to start all kinds of diets. But, it’s very hard to stick with them!

I was astonished.

You know why?

In our first week together, we lost 3 pounds!

This is fascinating to me…

This is all part of human behavior. This is what keeps me so interested in this.

I love exploring the psychological reasons behind our actions. After all, it’s ALL psychological.

Let’s talk about cognitive dissonance…

This happens when we have two conflicting desires. Let’s use smoking as an example…

It is well known that smoking cigarettes can cause lung cancer yet every person I’ve ever met wants to live a long, healthy and fit life. But the short term / irrational mind of a smoker enjoys it, and wants to smoke.

The uncomfortable tension caused by these two opposing desires is known as dissonance. As humans, we look to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling. This is known as dissonance reduction.

The only way to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling is by a) quitting smoking b) denying that people actually get sick from smoking or c) justifying and rationalizing.

For example, a smoker could rationalize their behavior by believing that few people get sick from smoking, it only happens to people who smoke more than they do, if smoking doesn’t kill them something else will, they’ll quit next year, they only live once (YOLO!) and they deserve to smoke or it’s too expensive to quit (it’s amazing to me how cheap people are with themselves when it comes to their own health and fitness. Yet, they’ll spend tons of money on restaurants, stuff, activities, etc. Everything means NOTHING without our health and fitness).

In essence, they either need to take action (quit smoking and get whatever help they need <—- this is very hard!) or they need to make themselves feel better by rationalizing their smoking, and do the easiest thing of all — do nothing at all. (<—this is much easier and that’s why most people do it).

Knowing this, let’s talk about why Katie who has “tried everything” to lose weight, and finally did with MBT, wants to quit the program.

I’ll tell you why:

F.E.A.R.

It comes down to either fear of change, fear of failure or fear of success.

Everything she says boils down to fear.

There’s an old saying that I love:

“The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”

In this case because Katie actually succeeded, she realized she was going to change for the long term. And unfortunately, real change is uncomfortable.

She got scared.

Because deep down, Katie wasn’t ready to really change. She didn’t think MBT would actually work. So she wasn’t prepared to let go of emotional eating.

In her mind, she needs to emotionally eat and she can’t imagine life without doing so.

Her success made her fear the change. (Hint: Focus on ALL the benefits of eating well. Not the discomfort of not eating junk. It’s one of the reasons why we ask what you’re grateful for every night. We certainly know that focusing on what we DON’T have is a great way to be unhappy.)

So now, Katie is coming up with all sorts of excuses because she fears the change. Her main excuse is that now is not the right time to lose weight.

Interesting.

Because she wants to change – but sorta doesn’t want to change – that’s causing a lot of dissonance or tension or discomfort (whatever you want to call it).

She has to get rid of that discomfort somehow…so she’ll find anything and latch on to it so she can ease the tension.

(Ahhh yes…I’m too busy to focus on my health and fitness. Now is not the right time. I’ll wait until the stars are aligned. Yes!!! Whew. Now I can rationalize my excuse – and not feel as bad and quit the program so I don’t have to change…because I’m really scared to change.)

The real problem ISN’T that it takes so much time to be be and act healthy. We make time for what’s important to us.

The real problem is that she is scared to actually change. Like many people, it appears she’d rather just talk about changing. It’s not that she doesn’t want to change. She’s just scared of change. (We’ll work on this!)

Instead of criticizing or shaming her like so many people out there would do (because it’s the obvious and easy thing to do), it’s far more effective to help her understand her own behavior. (Shaming or criticizing never leads to long lasting change.)

Fighting human nature is silly.

Instead, when we understand what’s going on around us, it makes it a lot easier to call it what it is and move forward.

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Starting a diet is easy. Sticking with it is very hard.

When was the last time you stuck with a diet?

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Happy New Year!

We’ve heard it 1000 times before: A majority of us who make resolutions don’t keep them.

Total Reading Time: 4 FUN minutes.

Resolutions are all about change.

Hence the question why is change so damn hard.

And I think we can all agree it is.

Otherwise, every person would be the ideal version of themselves, if not all the time, most of the time. Every person (well at least the self-aware among us) would be more patient, compliant, and reliable along with many other qualities we seek to improve in ourselves.

But there’s more to it than that.

When we want to change something, we’re uncovering a desire.

Let’s use exercise and eating right as an example. What’s the reason for wanting to exercise and eat right?

Because we want to feel (and look) as good as we can for ourselves.

So a part of us wants to do the necessary things in order to feel that way — namely eat right and exercise *consistently*

And…

A part of us wants to stay the same — eating indulgently and doing other things with our time besides exercising.

This causes cognitive dissonance — here in referred to as CD.

My definition of cognitive dissonance (CD): the discomfort we feel when we have two conflicting desires.

Now that we have these two conflicting desires there will always be CD.

Unless…

1. We actually eat right and exercise consistently (this is the hardest thing to do) aka take action

2. We find ways to rationalize NOT taking action (this is the easiest and most common thing to do)

Some things we might say to ourselves:

“I’ll wait until I have more time.” “Being healthy and fit isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” “I only live once (YOLO!).” “It’s too expensive to eat healthy.” And on and on…

The rationalizations we come up with make perfect sense in our minds…until they don’t.

The purpose of these rationalizations: To reduce the CD — this is known as dissonance reduction.

Until we start to see through them.

Until we see ourselves in a picture. Or in the mirror. Or we try something on and we hate how we look and feel.

And suddenly, we wished we were in better shape.

We realize that desire never went away. We just covered that desire up with piles of rationalizations.

TWO WAYS TO GET WHAT YOU WANT

Actually getting what you want aka doing the work necessary to get it OR changing what you want aka rationalizing with ourselves that we don’t want it — whatever “it” might be.

We do this with so many aspects of our lives. Not only in fitness.

THE ROADMAP TO SUCCESS (AND HAPPINESS)

Chris Paul, the all-star point guard for the Los Angeles Clippers, said this after winning 11 straight games this season:

“It’s good when you win. I told everyone on the team, the food tastes better. The music sounds better. You sleep a little bit better. Everything is a little bit better when you win. We just have to keep it going.”

They went onto win 17 straight games.

Even if you’re not a basketball fan this resonates.

For him…winning is simply winning basketball games. But it’s also way more fun. Everything is better. LIFE is better.

For us, I think, winning (and happiness) is working towards what we truly desire, and getting more of what we really want.

So many people have these desires yet never act on them. Not taking consistent action on something that we want (as much as our short term / irrational mind tries to convince us otherwise) doesn’t feel good. It wears on us.

I think a big part of why clients report being so much happier is because they’re finally taking consistent action on something that’s so important to them: health and fitness.

Either we’re working towards what we really want or we’re working away from it. Either we’re taking control or we’re not.

**

As I like to remind my clients, existing is easy. Anyone can exist.

Living is harder. It takes some work.

And then there’s thriving which I think we all want to do. Thriving, though, takes a lot of work.

Chris Paul and his team are clearly thriving.

Do you think he and his teammates are having more fun than the worst team in the NBA? Of course!

Are they having more fun even though it took a ton of work and effort to get to where they are? Of course!

**

THE ONLY WAY TO CHANGE YOUR OUTCOMES IS TO CHANGE YOUR ACTIONS

If we keep on eating and exercising the way we always have, we’re going to keep on looking and feeling the way we always do.

Changing our actions is very hard because it’s uncomfortable.

Change by nature is uncomfortable.

For example, typically, if a plate of cookies appeared in front of us, we’d dig in.

The more comfortable thing to do in the moment — the easiest thing to do – would be to take a plate or napkin and take a few cookies and eat them.

The harder — the more uncomfortable thing to do — would be to skip the cookies and save our indulgences for when it’s really and truly worthwhile.

Or let’s say it’s after a long day of work, and we don’t feel like exercising.

So we don’t. We plop on the couch and choose the more comfortable thing to do….watch TV. Rather than the more uncomfortable thing to do — actually exercising.

HOW DO WE KNOW IF OUR ACTIONS ARE LEADING US IN THE RIGHT WAY?

Whenever we have a choice — let’s try to choose the harder — the more uncomfortable route — the majority of the time.

In other words: Discomfort is our compass.

I guarantee that if you do, success will happen. You will get more of what you want.

Because when we’re changing our actions, our outcomes will change too.

**

Most people spend their days looking forward to the extremely rare moments when everything goes right. When there is no discomfort at all.

But imagine how much of an advantage we’d have if we spent our time maximizing those moments when it doesn’t. When discomfort is right in front of our faces.

Again, this doesn’t only apply to fitness.

THE REAL PURPOSE OF “WINNING”

No this isn’t a Charlie Sheen reference. The real purpose of winning — of getting more of what we want in our lives is increased happiness.

And we have two choices. We can either remain where we are, or can work towards what we really want for ourselves — even though it’ll require some effort and work and discomfort.

Do you think Chris Paul is regretting a single second of effort and discomfort he’s endured to get to where he is right now?

Too often we give up what we MOST want for what we (mistakenly) think we want in the moment — comfort.

THE MAGIC INGREDIENT (You Might Already Know the Answer)

It’s daily and personal accountability + daily support.

Otherwise, it’s very hard to sustain the effort required in order to get to where we want to be. Otherwise, it’s very hard to consistently push through the discomfort.

There’s a reason why the most successful people in all walks of life have support.

I know I’m biased but I’ve seen first hand what daily and personal accountability has done for 1000’s of people of all ages, sizes and shapes.

You know what’s uncomfortable? Admitting that we might need some help. Hint: Are you in the same place you were a year ago?

THE FRIEND WHO DRIVES YOU CRAZY ASKING YOU QUESTIONS ABOUT THEIR BOYFRIEND / GIRLFRIEND

You know those friends who ask you question after question about their boyfriend / girlfriend and you know EXACTLY what they should do? Yet they insist on doing the same thing over and over?

“I know he likes me.” “I’m telling you…she’s into me.”

This is after like the 1000th time they’re upset by that person.

“He/she makes me happy when I’m with them, though!”

As they say — for many people, “Better the devil you know.”

You know why people do that?

Because it’s more comfortable.

It’s more comfortable than ending it, moving on and finding someone better for you.

It seems amazing how many people would prefer to “jog in place” year after year rather than get the help they need.

Again, this applies to every aspect of life.

But when we understand why they’re doing it – it makes a lot of sense.

2013 IS GOING TO BE THE YEAR OF…

DISCOMFORT. Discomfort always leads to results.

My confidence in MBT comes directly as a result of helping so many people. And if I want MBT to impact as many people as I hope it will, I have to put forth world class effort.

And you know what?

World class effort requires discomfort.

I INVITE YOU TO JOIN ME IN MAKING 2013 THE YEAR OF DISCOMFORT FOR YOU.

Not only in fitness but in other aspects of your life too.

THE BEST PRODUCTIVITY TOOL YOU’VE EVER ENCOUNTERED

One of my clients told me the best productivity tool he’s ever encountered is better health.

Focusing on your health will make you happier but it’ll also allow you to do everything else better.

Choice by choice let’s choose the discomfort whenever possible.

And slowly but surely, we’ll start getting more of what we want.

IF YOU’RE TRULY HONEST WITH YOURSELF…

Will you be able to continually push through the discomfort? Cool. See you at the top!

No? Consider getting someone to personally hold you accountable on a daily basis. Someone who has been there and done it. It’ll sky rocket your results AND happiness.

Consider joining MyBodyTutor. I truly live for what I do and I’m extremely confident I can help you take control of your health and fitness. So much so that I offer a 100% money back guarantee.

Here’s to a really uncomfortable 2013…aka highly successful year.

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Ready to get uncomfortable (aka see amazing results and take control of your health and fitness) in 2013? Learn more about MBT right now by clicking here. You won’t regret it.

This is one of the slowest times of the year.

Many people don’t do much of anything between now and the New Year except eat leftover holiday food, watch movies and relive all of the top stories of 2012 on TV and the Internet.

Already people are saying, “I’ll wait until next week,” or, “Let’s work on this in the New Year!”

I get it.

It’s nice to kick back and rest. It feels good to take a break from the everyday routine. I hear ya!

And at this point of the year — it’s so easy to give into our short term, irrational mind.

WHY?

We have the most perfect excuse ever.

“I’ll start January 1st!”

It makes perfect sense in our mind. The best part? It absolves us of any and all cognitive dissonance…

In short: the mental discomfort that ensues when we have two conflicting desires.

In this case…

A part of us wants to do absolutely nothing and lounge around. And a part of us wants to take action and do what we know we SHOULD do.

Well there’s only one way to completely get rid of the dissonance. That’s to take action.

(Note: This is one reason why so many clients report being so much happier after a few weeks with MBT. Because they’re finally taking *consistent* action on something that is so important to them. Something that has been on their mind for along time.)

Or…we can rationalize our inaction away.

In this case: “I’ll start January 1st!”

No, I’m not saying we need to cut our vacation short and start the New Year right now. After all, I want to relive the top stories of 2012!

And I’m not only talking about our health and fitness goals. I’m talking about other things as well. Everything impacts everything.

However, if nothing is going to change between now and January 1st besides the date, what we’re telling ourselves is delusional.

Because if we wait until January 1st to start, the date itself becomes the agent of change. Not us.

INSTEAD of waiting to start doing everything again on 1/1/13…why not commit to doing a leeeeeetle something today and this weekend?

This way, when 1/1/13 hits we’re not starting back up from a standstill.

We’re starting with momentum.

And momentum can be our worst enemy or best friend.

ARE YOU SO NOT IN THE MOOD TO DO ANYTHING?

How about committing to just:

1. Walking for just 10 minutes

2. Throwing away the unhealthy leftovers

3. Eating a super healthy lunch

4. Cleaning up one closet

5. Doing one annoying task

6. Doing 10 push-ups

7. 20 jumping jacks.

8. Finishing up that project

9. Submitting your feedback tonight, no matter what

10. Doing something you might normally do the first week of the month now

I know. I know.

It’s soooo easy, and tempting to just keep on doing nothing and start from zero on the 1st.

Nothing begets nothing. But, something begets something and that = momentum.

Why not have it on our side rather than it working against us?

What little thing can you do today to get a jump start?

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Why not try the proven, money back guaranteed program that has helped 1000’s of people of all ages, sizes and shapes get (and stay) in amazing shape? Join right now so we can get a jump start.

Happy Friday!

In Malcolm Gladwell’s Tipping Point he brought to light the idea of the broken window theory – although it’s been around since the early ’80’s.

The broken window theory is fascinating, and I believe it applies so much to our health and fitness.

It suggests that people on streets with lots of broken windows, graffiti, garbage, etc., are more likely to throw trash on the street, graffiti the
walls, and overall have much less respect for the property on that street than if it were gleaming.

Think about it this way…

When you’re in a sparkling bathroom you’re way more likely to keep it that way, right?

When former Mayor Giuliani first become mayor of NYC, he went after the small infringements like meter skipping for subways, graffiti, and getting rid of the guys that washed car windows whether you asked them to or not.

He felt that if you attack the small nuances, the serious ones like assault, rape and murder would diminish.

He was right.

So, I believe this applies to us as well…

I find that:

When my office is messy, I’m not nearly as productive, organized and on point.

When my kitchen is messy, I tend to order in food more.

When my laundry is piling up, I skip the gym because I don’t have any clothes to wear.

When I don’t have healthy food stocked up, I’m way more likely to eat unhealthy.

I try very hard not to let the small annoying things build up.

Seems like common sense but it can make a BIG difference, and it’s certainly not common practice.

Like —-> spending just 5 minutes every night cleaning and organizing, stopping at the grocery store (no matter how annoying it might be), and doing laundry every week, as opposed to letting it build up.

THE PROBLEM WITH LETTING THINGS BUILD UP…

Is that they become DAUNTING! As tempting as it is to say, “Alright, I’ll do everything once…”, it’s much more effective and way LESS daunting to do a little every day.

I find that when I stay on top of these small but impactful tasks, staying consistent with my diet and exercise is easier.

Just like nothing begets nothing —-> consistency begets consistency.

So, if you’re unsure of what to do this weekend, why not spend some time cleaning and organizing?

Small things can make a big difference, and we might as well make them work in our favor.

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