“Do I want this?” “No, I don’t want this!” “Do I want this?” “No, I don’t!” “How many calories is it?” You don’t want this!” “I deserve this!” “Eh, screw it, I’m just going to eat it!” “Actually, is this really worth it?” “I shouldn’t eat this…”

This internal chatter can be EXTREMELY taxing.

It’s a pure battle between our long term, rational mind versus our short term, irrational mind.

It’s Dr. Jekyllllllll versus Mr. Hyde.

It’s our Body Tutor versus the devil on our shoulder.

Whatever you want to call it —> it’s freakin’ taxing, and this internal debate can drive us crazy.

The weird reason why we might actually be eating junk food –> because we’re so sick of ‘listening’ to it! And we know that if we give in, and just eat whatever it is we’re obsessing over, we won’t have to listen to this internal debate anymore.

What I’m saying is that we might not even REALLY want the junk we’re eating. What we might want is peace and quiet!

Laurie, a client, writes this to me:

“I made the decision to eat like crap today. Because I’ve been thinking about it for a few days and I just don’t want to think about it anymore. It’s like what you were saying about the candy. I just ate to shut-up my food desires.”

Don’t you find this fascinating?

Because what we’re really after isn’t necessarily the food. And food, as much as we like to think it might, will NEVER give us what we’re truly after.

So, what can we do about this?

If you were watching TV with a little kid and suddenly something very graphic and disturbing appeared, what would you do?

I think, you’d change the channel as fast as you possibly could, right?

As soon as we find ourselves starting to negotiate with ourselves we have a chance to turn it off. We have a chance to change that channel. We can choose to focus on something else. And that’s the key!

Because in this moment, we’re focusing our attention ONLY on the temptation in front of us.

What would happen if your favorite person walked in the door?

You’d very quickly forget about the temptation, and the internal chatter would never start.

What would happen if going forward, instead of only focusing on our self in that moment, we focused on other things?

Thinking about this BEFORE we’re in the moment, is what makes this possible because after all, the moment IS the moment. It’s hard to control what we do in the moment. But, if God forbid there’s an emergency, we all know how to call 911 – even though we may never have in the moment, right?

How to practice: Right now whatever you’re thinking about, change that channel and think about this QUESTION: You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?

Right now, you’re (hopefully) thinking fairly rational and you were able to change your focus to the question I just asked.

Next time you feel yourself starting to negotiate with yourself, why can’t you quickly think about something else?

When we know what’s going on, while it’s going on, it’s much, much easier to change what goes on.

###

Who wants to win a special prize?!

Let’s have some fun, shall we?!

The FIRST person to message me with the correct answer to my question will get a special prize. I’ll announce the winner in my next inspiration. Oh, and don’t Google the answer because I will know if you did!

“Do I want this?” “No, I don’t want this!” “Do I want this?” “No, I don’t!” “How many calories is it?” You don’t want this!” “I really want it though!”

This internal chatter can be extremely taxing.

It’s a pure battle between our long term, rational mind versus our short term, irrational mind.

It’s Dr. Jekyll versus Mr. Hyde.

It’s our Body Tutor versus the devil on our shoulder.

Whatever you want to call it —> it’s extremely taxing. This internal debate can drive us crazy.

And here’s the weird reason why you might actually be eating junk food –> because you’re so sick of ‘listening’ to it! And we know that if we give in, and just eat whatever it is we’re obsessing over, we won’t have to listen to this internal debate anymore.

What I’m saying is that you might not even REALLY want the junk you’re eating. What you might want is peace and quiet.

Laurie, a client, writes this to me: (Pardon her french)

“I made the decision to eat like shit today. Because I’ve been thinking about it for a few days and I just don’t want to think about it anymore. It’s like what you were saying about the candy. I just ate to shut-up my food desires.”

Don’t you find this fascinating?

Because what we’re really after isn’t necessarily the food. And food, as much as we like to think it might, will never give us what we’re truly after.

So what can we do about this?

Question: if you were watching TV with a little kid and suddenly something very graphic appeared what would you do?

Well, I think, you’d change the channel as fast as you possibly could, right?

As soon as we find ourselves starting to negotiate with ourselves we have a chance to turn it off. We have a chance to change that channel. We can choose to focus on something else. And that’s the key. Because in this moment, we’re focusing our attention only on the temptation in front of us.

What would happen if your favorite person walked in the door?

You’d very quickly forget about the temptation, and the internal chatter would never start.

What would happen if going forward, instead of only focusing on yourself in that moment, you focused on other things?

Thinking about this BEFORE we’re in the moment, is what makes this possible because after all, the moment is the moment. It’s hard to control what we do in the moment. But, if God forbid there’s an emergency we all know how to call 911 – even though we may never have in the moment, right?

How to practice: Right now whatever you’re thinking about, change that channel and think about this: Why are manhole covers round?

Right now, you’re (hopefully) thinking fairly rational and you were able to change your focus to the question I just asked.

Next time you feel yourself starting to negotiate with yourself why can’t you quickly think about something else?

When we know what’s going on, while it’s going on, it’s much, much easier to change what goes on.

P.S Bonus Prize: First person to email me –> adam at mybodytutor dot com with the subject line ‘Bonus prize: Manhole question’ — with the correct answer to my question will get a prize. I’ll announce the winner in my next inspiration. Oh and don’t Google the answer because I will know if you did!

Many of us have addictions to certain types of food. For example, every night after dinner this one client ‘has to have’ her mint chocolate ice cream. Another client is ‘addicted’ to his chips with lunch.

I wanted to share this email exchange I had with one of my diamond clients. She happens to be addicted to chocolate.

She writes:

“I am wondering about the best way to handle cravings long term. For instance, when I was craving the chocolate, I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted chocolate. I know that it would be better to eat some fruit rather than the chocolate, but wouldn’t it be best to not eat at all, since I’m trying to eat only when I’m hungry?”

I wrote the following:

First off, let’s focus on today and this week. When we slowly and gradually change our behaviors the long term will take care of itself.

When it comes to cravings and temptations, remember, we’re thinking irrationally. Any food that makes us think irrationally is what I call a temptation. So even if we’re stuffed, we’ll still be able to find room for it. It’s not about whether we’re physically hungry or not.

The key to getting over this addiction is baby steps. Asking you to essentially quit a behavior is much harder than asking you to change it.

For example, usually, we have a craving and then we eat whatever it is we’re craving.

What you’re suggesting is going from having a craving to doing nothing at all. That’s very hard because you’re a) not eating anything and b) not eating the chocolate.

A much easier way to fight cravings is to eat something (like fruit) – but not exactly what you (think) you want. Then, once the emotional attachment is removed, it’ll be much easier to quit eating when we have cravings altogether. Does this make sense?

[Note: this is purely tactical. There's underlying reasons why we want the chocolate as well.]

She replies with:

“Yes, this makes very good sense.”

She then sent me something to read. She writes, “It sounds so much like what you say, except approached from a Buddhist point of view. She then writes, “Perhaps you were a Buddhist monk in your past life. ”

Perhaps.

I wrote back, “It’s very good. I think, though, at the end of the day we just gotta ‘jump in that pool’.

Meaning we can read and read about this but if we’re not practicing the discomfort, nothing will change.”

It’s essential to realize this: Real – long-lasting – change is uncomfortable.

I was watching an infomercial the other night and I started laughing out loud when one of the actors said, “It was so easy I didn’t feel like I was exercising!!!” after using this crazy contraption.

Ugh! What?

There’s no way to get around the discomfort. Sure, we can make it less uncomfortable by taking baby steps and having a game plan we feel comfortable with. But at the end of the day, we have to embrace some sort of discomfort – or else, we’re not changing.

If it was so easy to change our behaviors for the long term, we’d all do it. It’s hard.

It takes courage (to start), patience, persistence (which means wanting the same thing over and over) and a lot of support and accountability.

She responded to my ‘jump in the pool comment’ with this:

“Yes, you are absolutely right. If I could be thin and fit by reading and studying, I would be one of the thinnest and fittest people around.”

Why the heck does, say, a cookie have so much power over us? I swear, if someone attributes overeating to a lack of willpower one more time, I’m going to climb up to the top of the Empire State Building and scream.

We used to think of food as something we ate to fill us up. But in fact, much of the food we’re eating – this trio of fat, sugar, and salt – stimulates us. And we now know from science – this highly palatable food is absolutely activating the neural circuitry of our brains. We now know the reason we keep on eating is because of this sustained stimulation.

Sugar, salt and fat change our brain. THAT is why we can’t stop eating when we’re full. Whether we’re a healthy weight or over weight – we all think a lot about food. And controlling that urge is often the hardest part.

Sugar is the main driver of our addiction. Then if we layer it with fat, it becomes even more addictive.

But food is love. And when it comes to showing love, we all think fat, sugar and salt. Unfortunately, most people don’t celebrate special occasions with a box of broccoli.

Let’s explore why we love sugar/fat/salt so much:

Well, first it’s evolution. We’re already programmed with an attraction to sugar and fat. Then it’s neuroscience. Food that contains fat, sugar and salt changes the neuro-circuitry of our brains, and keep us addicted to this trio. It’s important to understand (and awareness is the first step) that this stuff messes with our minds. It literally turns off our brain’s satiation meter, and keeps us coming back for more.

Here are some pointers for us, so we can break this addiction:

1. Take the bread away in a restaurant. When we reduce the desire for butter or olive oil (even though it’s a healthy fat) it’s helps us overcome the cue for fat.

2. Eat every 3-4 hours. The more structured our eating is, the better. The longer we go without food, the louder our short term, irrational mind becomes.

3. Eat out less. I know this is tough as so many of our gatherings take place at a restaurant. But when we eat out, we have no idea what’s really going into our food.

4. Change our food perceptions. If we change our food stimulus-reward response from, “Wow, that’s great!” to, “That’s just fat on sugar on fat. Gross!” when we see a plate of french fries, it’ll be easier to turn it down.

Most importantly, take baby steps. We shouldn’t say, “I’m never going to have sugar, fat or salt again!” That’s unrealistic.

Instead, let’s aim to cut it out for our next meal. And then the meal after that. Or if we’re up for the challenge, the entire day.

And if we’re really up for a challenge – let’s aim to cut it out for this coming week. Not forever, not for the rest of our life – just for this coming week.

Baby steps.