Happy Saturday!

You worked hard to get to this point – why give in now? Let’s keep pushing forward!

Easier said than done, of course, for many reasons. One of them being that we might find our selves with a persistent craving.

Here in lies the question we all face: Who do we listen to? Our short term self or our long term self.

Our short term self relentlessly tries to convince our long term self that we want those cookies or ice cream or chips or fries. That same short term self would try to convince a drug addict that just one more hit is okay.

Our long term self is what motivates us to exercise. To get up and go to work. To eat healthfully. To evolve. And improve. To resist. To achieve. To read this daily inspiration.

So who do we listen to?

Well, I believe when we listen to our short term self – not only are we being impulsive – which usually leads to self-destructive things happening – but we’re indulging in pleasure.

(Big difference between being impulsive and spontaneity, in my opinion.)

A life filled with short term pleasures is very different from a life time of happiness.

I don’t think pleasure and happiness are one in the same, at all.

A drug addict probably feels better than all of us when they are high. (I have no idea. I’m just assuming – why would people do the things they do for drugs?) Yet, what happens after they experience that intense pleasure?

Same for the person who refuses to give up the pleasure of indulging in fatty and fried and sugary food day after day. Sure it tastes good on the way down. But, of course, it doesn’t feel so good when our clothes no longer fit us. Or when we hate how we look and feel later on.

Pleasure is fleeting. Happiness isn’t.

I think the problem with cravings is that we entertain them to much. We think about them too much.

You know why? We’re stuck in our own damn head.

This weekend I’d like for us to all try something when we face a craving. It’s simple, unselfish and will benefit others (and you too).

Ready? When a craving hits simply:

Think away from yourself.

It’s helpful to know the difference between hunger and a craving.

Hunger comes on gradually. Our stomach starts to growl, we feel a tad lightheaded or we just feel empty without much energy.

Emotional/mindless/habitual hunger comes on suddenly. Out of nowhere, we’re in the mood for something. If we really paid attention to our stomach we’d realize we weren’t physically hungry.

Then there’s mouth cravings. Mouth cravings can happen whether we’re physically or emotionally hungry. It’s when our mouth or tongue is craving something sweet or fatty or salty.

If we really pay attention to our body and mind we’d realize mouth cravings are really only in our mouth. They aren’t driven by our mind saying ‘comfort me’ or ‘help me escape reality for a few minutes.’

Mouth cravings typically occur after we eat certain foods. And the fix is easy.

For example, whenever I eat Italian food with some sort of marinara sauce I crave chocolate. And it’s really not emotionally driven. My mouth just feels like it wants something sweet.

So instead of giving in, I (try to!) have some grapes or an orange or better yet as soon as I’m done eating I floss, brush my teeth and use mouth wash.

I’m literally scraping the craving off my tongue. It works every time.

The challenging part is that so many of us enjoy the 5 minute escape of eating whatever it is we want. We don’t want to get in the habit of brushing our teeth even though we know it’ll work!

I’ve seen this time after time.

Clients are afraid to let go of their temporary escape so they purposely don’t brush their teeth.

It seems harder to just brush our teeth than to give in to our cravings. It’s like taking a bottle away from a baby. But as babies eventually grow out of using bottles – so can we.

We just need to try it. Try brushing your teeth immediately after a meal and you’ll be amazed at how quickly you forget about the craving.

If you never give yourself an opportunity to figure out what it is you really want, you’ll always resort to eating junk. And eating junk, unfortunately, has never made us feel more awesome than eating healthfully has.

Try snacking on some grapes or an orange – it will fix your cravings. Even better: try coming up with a nightly activity that’ll be soothing so you don’t have to give in to your mouth cravings at all.

A client sent me this article about a trainer that purposely tried to gain weight. Apparently, he wanted to be able to better empathize with his clients on why they’d miss workouts and continue to eat junk.

So he traded in the lean proteins and fruits and veggies and complex carbs for fatty, fried and sugary foods.

He said, “I’ve become quite addicted to the kinds of fatty sugary food that is bad for you, and it’s going to be hard to get out of that habit.”

He then goes on to say, “Once you start eating an unhealthy diet, it is tough to break that cycle. I used to enjoy healthy food and eat a lot of lean meat, grilled fish and green leafy vegetables.

But now I’ve got the taste for chocolate, biscuits and fizzy drinks. The energy these foods give you is short-lived, so your body is soon wanting more.”

He said he also feels sluggish all the time.

There are a lot of interesting golden nuggets in this article.

I don’t even want to mention the fact that he was a trainer and had no idea what his clients were going through!

Regardless, I do understand how hard it is. That’s exactly why I started MyBodyTutor! I was working in Corporate America and I found myself constantly making excuses. Constantly rationalizing my poor eating and lack of exercise…and I hated it!

We truly are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act. But a habit!

I was in the habit of forming bad habits and making bad choices.

Just like we can get into healthy habits meal by meal, workout by workout, we can easily get out of healthy habits just like this guy did.

Great habits are very hard to form. Bad habits are very easy to form.

The more I exercise, the more I want to exercise! The less I exercise, the less I want to exercise!

The more sugar I eat, the more sugar I want! The more salt I eat, the more salt I want!

Unhealthy foods that are loaded with salt and sugar (especially) are mentally and physically addicting.

Each time we eat sugar, we’re further reinforcing learned behaviors. It’s very hard to break the habit. Believe me I know!

Here’s the obvious kicker:

The only thing that’s going to change things is changing things! And the only way to stop craving sugar is to actually stop eating it!

We’re not robots, though!

Saying you’re never going to eat sugar again is ridiculous. Start with a crazy small goal of, say, just today! No refined or processed sugars.

The only sugar you can eat is natural sugar in the form of fruit or in real food. But just start with your next meal. That’s it! And go meal by meal.

Realize each time you have an intense craving for sugar, and each time you feed it with natural sugar, not refined, your changing what your body wants.

Each time you give in, your further reinforcing those cravings.

And I’m not saying you can’t ever indulge in cake or cookies or candy. But we can all agree that we feel so much better when we’re ‘off’ sugar, for the most part.

Flex your sugar muscle!

The more you say no, the easier it’ll become! The more you say yes, the harder it becomes to say no!

The homo economicus view of human beings states that we think and choose unfailingly well, and we fit within the text book picture of economists.

According to economists we will choose what’s best for us.

Clearly, this is not the case. Research in psychology and behavioral economics proves we are very, very irrational creatures.

On one hand (I like to call this our long term self / rational mind) we know what’s best for us. We know we shouldn’t overeat, drink and smoke.

On the other hand (I like to call this our short term self / irrational mind) we’re highly impulsive and succumb to temptations all the time.

We could also call these two minds our cold and hot sides. Cold being rational and hot being irrational. A temptation then is anything we consume more of when we’re hot/irrational/short sighted.

Here’s the challenge: Right now (2:45 EST on Friday), I feel pretty good. No cravings. I plan on going to the gym later on and I feel focused and on point.

However, in 3 hours when I plan on going to the gym, I might feel tired. Being tired helps our irrational mind get louder. So does being hungry. So does being anxious.

Research has proven, and we obviously don’t need research to prove this, we grossly underestimate how we’ll feel and act when we’re tempted – which in turn, wakes up the hot/irrational part of our brain.

Right now junk food isn’t in front of me. I’m thinking rationally. I’m good to go.

But, if you put my favorite treats in front of me (I’m not even going to write them) it would be an entirely different ball game.

A few lessons can be learned:

1. Don’t have any temptations near you. In your house, car, desk, whatever.

2. Tell your loved ones / friends / etc., that you’re on a mission and that you’d appreciate if they didn’t bring you your favorite treats or keep them around.

3. Protect yourself from getting irrational. Remember: Hungry, tired, and anxious are the 3 killers.

4. Don’t go where there will be temptations! Sometimes we can’t control this but many times we can. A client told me how she read an article about doughnuts in the LA Times and all day long she was thinking about doughnuts. Why do that to yourself?

Don’t underestimate how hot you can really get! But see, right now, we’re cold so we’ll rationalize and say things like “Na, I’m good! I’ll be fine!”

Remember, Tiger Woods destroyed his career as soon as he landed in Las Vegas because clearly he can’t control himself and he knew that. We all know our weaknesses.

America has become a food fun house of sugary, salty and fatty delights.

The ultimate question is: Do you feel happier when you eat this junk?

When we eat junk, the feelings we get are very momentary. We can create one more moment of good feeling but it never lasts, of course. In fact, the moment we’re done eating the junk the good feelings fade.

It’s very fleeting.

And this right here is the classic description of the body’s reward system. The good feeling we get is very short lived. It’s what makes the behavior reinforcing. Because it doesn’t last, we want to do it again!

We have all been conditioned by food and the cues that remind us of that food. It focuses our attention, promotes anticipation and builds desire.

Large companies have done an incredible job designing foods that capture our attention. They absolutely know that sugar, salt and fat sell!

For 1000’s of years human body weight stayed very stable. Millions of calories passed through our bodies, yet with rare exceptions our weight neither rose nor fell. A perfect biological system seemed to be at work.

Then in 1980 something changed. Our population was getting bigger.

In 1960, when weight was still relatively stable in America, women ages 20 – 29 averaged about 128 pounds. By 2000 – the average weight of women in that age group had reached 157!

A similar trend was apparent in 40 – 49 year olds. In 1960 the average was 142. In 2000 the average was 169!

We were entering our adult years at a significantly higher weight, reflecting the gains that had taken place during childhood and adolescence. And from age 20 – 40 many of us kept gaining. Rather than a few pounds, the average adult man was gaining more than a dozen pounds in those years.

While on average everyone was getting heavier, the heaviest people in the population were gaining disproportionately more weight than others.

What happened?

Certainly food has become more readily available in the 1970’s and 1980’s. We have larger portion sizes, more chain restaurants, more local food places and a culture that promotes out-of-home eating.

But what’s been driving us to overeat?

This is because eating certain foods (those that contain lots of sugar, salt and fat) makes us want to eat more of them, whether we’re hungry or not.

The more sugar, salt and fat we eat – the more sugar, salt and fat we’re going to want to eat!

It’s no longer about hunger!

It’s about ‘rewarding’ our body. The more we eat crap that contains that stuff – the more we’re continuing to ‘reward’ the body and the more our body is going to crave that ‘reward’.

Keep that in mind. Your perpetuating the problem. Kind of like giving money to a homeless person. 9 times out of 10 they’re going to use it to buy alcohol.

Just like they need to be rehabilitated so do we. Like anything – the best way to start is to start small.

With your very next craving. Don’t give in to it. Don’t listen to it. Don’t believe it.

Let your mind play tricks on you. Let your mind obsess over a certain piece of food. Laugh at it.

But don’t give in.

Try brushing your teeth, eating fruit, drinking water, chewing gum or consuming yourself with a job or a hobby or a project!

One fight at a time you can break the cue, urge, craving, habit cycle that’s oh so vicious.

I hope all the Mothers out there had a fantastic weekend!

Let’s get right into it. Some tough stuff to start the week but that’s okay, we’re tough people!

Over the weekend, I watched an old 20/20 episode about stay-at-home mothers who became alcoholics by using alcohol to make their day a little more interesting and unfortunately they wound up becoming alcoholics.

Here are some notes about what I was watching. My comments on what I was watching and how it relates to us are in [brackets].

- Initially alcohol works well for an alcoholic. She’d drink in the morning but it was okay because she ‘didn’t pour the drink in the morning.’

[Initially, and for a long time food works well for us. Food is love. Food is easy. Food is reliable. When we're little, we get treats if we're good. We get treats to calm down, etc. When we're adults, we don't even realize what we're doing (using food to soothe ourselves) until we look in the mirror one day or our doctor tells us to lose weight, etc. Or, maybe we do but we continue to lie to ourselves.]

- The highlight of her day was drinking alone on her back porch

[The highlight of many people's days is going home to a greasy dinner or a sugary dessert. However, food shouldn't be a reward. It should be used as fuel and it should be enjoyed. We shouldn't use food to make ourselves feel better. Food is only food. It's not our best friend. Nor our worst enemy. It's only food!]

- This one lady they profiled, a Harvard professor, would tell herself, “I’m going to get up early, run 5 miles, write a book, paint the house and make a nutritious dinner for myself.” However, she’d wake up every morning and think, “well, maybe not today.”

[I think, for many of us, it comes down to fighting each urge one at a time. For her, not having a drink for an entire day is daunting! I agree - that's scary. Instead, why not focus on not having any unhealthy food for your very first meal Take it one meal at a time.]

- One mom they featured had Hepatitis C and drinking alcohol could cause her to lose her life but it’s still not enough to stop her.

[Unfortunately, we use our short term / irrational mind way too often. But when we use this, it doesn't feel good. And we wind up eating more to make ourselves feel better!]

- 90 percent of people relapse. “If you pull out a beer right now it’d be very hard for me to turn it down.”

[Like alcohol, certain foods are hyper-palatable - foods high in sugar, salt and fat - once we start, it's hard to stop. They're extremely tempting too. In the beginning, it's worth it to not be around any temptations. Easier for a drinker as we have to eat. But if you tell everyone around you what you're doing they should respect your wishes.]

- Regrets and not being the perfect mom can drive women to drink even more

[There's no such thing as perfection in any aspect of life. Evolution and growth is the goal, I think.]

- The minute you start lying to other people about your drinking you get a little more lonely and get a little cut off. Women tend to feel more guilty. “I knew I needed to do something but I kept putting it off.”

[Lying is the worst feeling in the world. That's why this works so well. No matter what - fess up - you'll be glad you did! One of my favorite expressions is 'better the devil you know'. It takes a lot of courage to change. It's a lot easier to just keep delaying. Most people rather just keep doing what they already do even if it's self-destructive.]

- Facing the past is important. One woman lost her father to alcoholism. She was also gang raped, etc. In what’s known as “psycho drama” they force women to watch a re-enactment of past events to bring up the feelings. The point is to learn that we can deal with the feelings – they won’t kill us!

[Not to minimize anyone's past because some people have had very hard pasts. However, until you accept it, and face it, you're going to keep letting your past affect your present and future, and keep trying to suppress those feelings with food.]

- We can all quit – it’s staying quit that matters

[Yes, couldn't agree more! Consistency is the key!]

- The rewards are endless (coming from a former alcoholic). It’s the biggest gift you can give yourself. Because I’m the person I want to be. I’m out of that vicious cycle.

[This is what drives me. The rewards are endless for us too!]

-Okay no more notes. At least not anything else worthwhile.

[I hope you enjoyed this inspiration! Let's make it a super week choice by choice! ]

Tiger Woods at the Master’s huh? Sorry. It’s just fascinating to me.

Anyway, many people work in office environments where food is everywhere. They have stocked kitchens or coworkers who constantly bring in crap. Or, you might have the good ol’ V Machine. Ya know, the vending machine.

Here’s the thing: The moment you walk on over to the kitchen or to the table where the treats are or to the vending machine is the second you lose the game.

I don’t mean stop entertaining your friends/family, of course. I mean stop entertaining the idea of “just looking” because “you’re just curious”!

Why look?

Many times we eat junk because of the tension we have in our heads.

Let me explain: Our Dr. Jekyl wants to obey the Body Tutor and eat right and exercise. But our Mr. Hyde wants to eat anything and everything like it’s going out of style. It wants to party like it’s 1999!

The old, “I want this, I don’t want this, I want this, I don’t want this.” The second you play that game it’s over.

That game creates tension. It’s uncomfortable to have to go back and forth like that. Our mind is loaded with enough pressure as it is.

Until, eventually, we can’t take it anymore! We just eat the damn junk so we don’t have to listen to ourselves anymore. We drive ourselves crazy! And when we give in, our mind finally quiets down.

You know how in the movies the talking gets louder and faster and louder and faster until eventually the character blows up? That’s sorta what goes on with our brains.

What I’m saying is that you might not even really want what you’re battling over in your head. You’re giving in to ease the tension.

So here’s your take away: Stop entertaining yourself by seeing what’s in the kitchen or in the vending machine. Walk the other way. Don’t go in there.

It’ll make your life a lot more comfortable. Because the only time we feel deprived is when we *think* we’re facing a worthy temptation…and say no.

Oh and about Tiger…The second he went to Vegas he lost – because deep down we all know ourselves.

In case you’re interested, here’s a blog post I wrote about Tiger a little while ago.

Just don’t do it.

There’s a rumor around town that if you don’t give into a craving it’ll come back again and again. Ya know the old, “I might as well just eat this now so the craving doesn’t come back.”

I’ve been doing some poor eating (for research purposes only, of course) and I’ve found that the more sugar and salt and fat I eat – the more I want it. It’s truly addicting.

In fact, I think I create more cravings by giving in, not less!

However, for the last week or so (since I’m no longer doing research) I’ve realized that when I don’t give into a craving, they fade!

In this case: out of sight, out of mind. Time apart does not make the heart grow fonder.

And guess what…they don’t come back, either.

Last night I was craving…actually, I don’t even want to tell you…and I brushed my teeth and flossed and used mouth wash and I was over it.

And you know what? When I woke up this morning, I didn’t even think about the craving. I felt really good that I didn’t give in.

Remember: We never regret making good diet choices. But we usually regret making poor ones.

So, let’s all stop thinking that if we don’t give into a craving, it’ll come back again until we give in.

I think we’re mixing the word cravings with feelings. Feelings, if not dealt with, usually come back again and again. Unless you deal with them. Or suppress them. But that’s an entirely different ball game.

Fact: Cravings Fade!

The snow is in full effect here in NYC. Nothing like snuggling up with some good TV and yummy food right?

The temptations are everywhere!

What to do?

Here in lies the question we all face: Who do we listen to? Our short term self or our long term self when it comes to dealing with cravings?

Our short term self tries to convince our long term self that we want those cookies or ice cream or chips or wings. That same short term self would try to convince a drug addict that just one more hit is okay.

Our long term self is what motivates us to exercise. To get up and go to work. To eat healthfully. To evolve. And improve. To resist. To achieve. To read this daily inspiration.

So who the heck do you listen to?

Well, I believe when you listen to your short term self – not only are you being impulsive – which usually leads to self-destructive behavior – but you’re indulging in pleasure.

(Big difference between being impulsive and spontaneity, in my opinion.)

A life filled with short term pleasures is very different from a life time of happiness.

I don’t think pleasure and happiness is one in the same, at all.

Let’s look at the person who refuses to give up the pleasure of fatty and fried and sugary food. Sure it tastes good on the way down. But, it doesn’t feel so good when your clothes no longer fit you. Or when you hate how you look and feel later on. Or, when you’re sick and at the doctors.

Pleasure is fleeting. Happiness isn’t.

I think the problem with cravings is that we entertain them to much. We think about them too much.

You know why? We’re stuck in our own damn head.

Let’s all try something when we face a craving. It’s simple, unselfish and will benefit others (and you too).

Ready? When a craving hits simply:

Think away from yourself.

Get out of your damn head! Think about someone or something else.

As the warden sorta said in Shawshank Redemption, “That craving will vanish like a fart in the wind!”

So, every time I leave NYC to visit my family in Long Island where I grew up, I take the subway from 59th street to 34th Street, Herald Square.

There is an underground Burger King in the Herald Square station and I have to pass by it to walk out of the subway station.

This Burger King is always blasting music. And it’s really good music! Music that makes me want to start dancing.

I always crack up laughing in disbelief at BK’s decision to play such loud music.

I like all sorts of music but when I exercise, I like to listen to something that gets me going. It has to have a good beat. It has to make me think and dream a little. Inspiring, if you will.

It can be rap or electronic or rock or pop. Doesn’t matter. It depends entirely on the beat.

Anyway, this Burger King always plays awesome music! And I always crack up, because when I hear awesome music, the last thing it makes me want to do is stuff my face with Whoppers and fries.

The music they play makes me feel good. It makes me want to dance and/or start exercising. I purposely walk slowly so I can enjoy it!

Yet, every time I walk by it’s crowded. Maybe people can’t get enough of their ‘Burgers and Beats’ but it’s puzzling to me.

Maybe music just doesn’t have the same impact on people as it does for me?

When you hear Rocky music does that make you want to eat? It certainly doesn’t for me. It makes me want to exercise and pretend I’m Rocky!

Good music evokes emotion and we all have our favorites.

What if every time you were craving something that’s not MBT approved, you turned on your favorite music?

The key is to make sure you have your favorite music handy.

Try it. I’ve been experimenting with this and it works like a charm.

“Whoomp there it is!”

P.S. A long time ago, I wrote a post entitled “How can you be a DJ in your life?” that explains why I want to be a DJ.