This internal chatter can be EXTREMELY taxing.

It’s a pure battle between our long term, rational mind versus our short term, irrational mind.

It’s Dr. Jekyllllllll versus Mr. Hyde.

It’s our Body Tutor versus the devil on our shoulder.

Whatever you want to call it —> it’s freakin’ taxing, and this internal debate can drive us crazy.

The weird reason why we might actually be eating junk food –> because we’re so sick of ‘listening’ to it! And we know that if we give in, and just eat whatever it is we’re obsessing over, we won’t have to listen to this internal debate anymore.

What I’m saying is that we might not even REALLY want the junk we’re eating. What we might want is peace and quiet!

Laurie, a client, writes this to me:

“I made the decision to eat like crap today. Because I’ve been thinking about it for a few days and I just don’t want to think about it anymore. It’s like what you were saying about the candy. I just ate to shut-up my food desires.”

Don’t you find this fascinating?

Because what we’re really after isn’t necessarily the food. And food, as much as we like to think it might, will NEVER give us what we’re truly after.

So, what can we do about this?

If you were watching TV with a little kid and suddenly something very graphic and disturbing appeared, what would you do?

I think, you’d change the channel as fast as you possibly could, right?

As soon as we find ourselves starting to negotiate with ourselves we have a chance to turn it off. We have a chance to change that channel. We can choose to focus on something else. And that’s the key!

Because in this moment, we’re focusing our attention ONLY on the temptation in front of us.

What would happen if your favorite person walked in the door?

You’d very quickly forget about the temptation, and the internal chatter would never start.

What would happen if going forward, instead of only focusing on our self in that moment, we focused on other things?

Thinking about this BEFORE we’re in the moment, is what makes this possible because after all, the moment IS the moment. It’s hard to control what we do in the moment. But, if God forbid there’s an emergency, we all know how to call 911 – even though we may never have in the moment, right?

How to practice: Right now whatever you’re thinking about, change that channel and think about this QUESTION: You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?

Right now, you’re (hopefully) thinking fairly rational and you were able to change your focus to the question I just asked.

Next time you feel yourself starting to negotiate with yourself, why can’t you quickly think about something else?

When we know what’s going on, while it’s going on, it’s much, much easier to change what goes on.

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Who wants to win a special prize?!

Let’s have some fun, shall we?!

The FIRST person to message me with the correct answer to my question will get a special prize. I’ll announce the winner in my next inspiration. Oh, and don’t Google the answer because I will know if you did!

This internal chatter can be extremely taxing.

It’s a pure battle between our long term, rational mind versus our short term, irrational mind.

It’s Dr. Jekyll versus Mr. Hyde.

It’s our Body Tutor versus the devil on our shoulder.

Whatever you want to call it —> it’s extremely taxing. This internal debate can drive us crazy.

And here’s the weird reason why you might actually be eating junk food –> because you’re so sick of ‘listening’ to it! And we know that if we give in, and just eat whatever it is we’re obsessing over, we won’t have to listen to this internal debate anymore.

What I’m saying is that you might not even REALLY want the junk you’re eating. What you might want is peace and quiet.

Laurie, a client, writes this to me: (Pardon her french)

“I made the decision to eat like shit today. Because I’ve been thinking about it for a few days and I just don’t want to think about it anymore. It’s like what you were saying about the candy. I just ate to shut-up my food desires.”

Don’t you find this fascinating?

Because what we’re really after isn’t necessarily the food. And food, as much as we like to think it might, will never give us what we’re truly after.

So what can we do about this?

Question: if you were watching TV with a little kid and suddenly something very graphic appeared what would you do?

Well, I think, you’d change the channel as fast as you possibly could, right?

As soon as we find ourselves starting to negotiate with ourselves we have a chance to turn it off. We have a chance to change that channel. We can choose to focus on something else. And that’s the key. Because in this moment, we’re focusing our attention only on the temptation in front of us.

What would happen if your favorite person walked in the door?

You’d very quickly forget about the temptation, and the internal chatter would never start.

What would happen if going forward, instead of only focusing on yourself in that moment, you focused on other things?

Thinking about this BEFORE we’re in the moment, is what makes this possible because after all, the moment is the moment. It’s hard to control what we do in the moment. But, if God forbid there’s an emergency we all know how to call 911 – even though we may never have in the moment, right?

How to practice: Right now whatever you’re thinking about, change that channel and think about this: Why are manhole covers round?

Right now, you’re (hopefully) thinking fairly rational and you were able to change your focus to the question I just asked.

Next time you feel yourself starting to negotiate with yourself why can’t you quickly think about something else?

When we know what’s going on, while it’s going on, it’s much, much easier to change what goes on.

P.S Bonus Prize: First person to email me –> adam at mybodytutor dot com with the subject line ‘Bonus prize: Manhole question’ — with the correct answer to my question will get a prize. I’ll announce the winner in my next inspiration. Oh and don’t Google the answer because I will know if you did!

I wanted to share this email exchange I had with one of my diamond clients. She happens to be addicted to chocolate.

She writes:

“I am wondering about the best way to handle cravings long term. For instance, when I was craving the chocolate, I wasn’t hungry, I just wanted chocolate. I know that it would be better to eat some fruit rather than the chocolate, but wouldn’t it be best to not eat at all, since I’m trying to eat only when I’m hungry?”

I wrote the following:

First off, let’s focus on today and this week. When we slowly and gradually change our behaviors the long term will take care of itself.

When it comes to cravings and temptations, remember, we’re thinking irrationally. Any food that makes us think irrationally is what I call a temptation. So even if we’re stuffed, we’ll still be able to find room for it. It’s not about whether we’re physically hungry or not.

The key to getting over this addiction is baby steps. Asking you to essentially quit a behavior is much harder than asking you to change it.

For example, usually, we have a craving and then we eat whatever it is we’re craving.

What you’re suggesting is going from having a craving to doing nothing at all. That’s very hard because you’re a) not eating anything and b) not eating the chocolate.

A much easier way to fight cravings is to eat something (like fruit) – but not exactly what you (think) you want. Then, once the emotional attachment is removed, it’ll be much easier to quit eating when we have cravings altogether. Does this make sense?

[Note: this is purely tactical. There's underlying reasons why we want the chocolate as well.]

She replies with:

“Yes, this makes very good sense.”

She then sent me something to read. She writes, “It sounds so much like what you say, except approached from a Buddhist point of view. She then writes, “Perhaps you were a Buddhist monk in your past life. ”

Perhaps.

I wrote back, “It’s very good. I think, though, at the end of the day we just gotta ‘jump in that pool’.

Meaning we can read and read about this but if we’re not practicing the discomfort, nothing will change.”

It’s essential to realize this: Real – long-lasting – change is uncomfortable.

I was watching an infomercial the other night and I started laughing out loud when one of the actors said, “It was so easy I didn’t feel like I was exercising!!!” after using this crazy contraption.

Ugh! What?

There’s no way to get around the discomfort. Sure, we can make it less uncomfortable by taking baby steps and having a game plan we feel comfortable with. But at the end of the day, we have to embrace some sort of discomfort – or else, we’re not changing.

If it was so easy to change our behaviors for the long term, we’d all do it. It’s hard.

It takes courage (to start), patience, persistence (which means wanting the same thing over and over) and a lot of support and accountability.

She responded to my ‘jump in the pool comment’ with this:

“Yes, you are absolutely right. If I could be thin and fit by reading and studying, I would be one of the thinnest and fittest people around.”

We used to think of food as something we ate to fill us up. But in fact, much of the food we’re eating – this trio of fat, sugar, and salt – stimulates us. And we now know from science – this highly palatable food is absolutely activating the neural circuitry of our brains. We now know the reason we keep on eating is because of this sustained stimulation.

Sugar, salt and fat change our brain. THAT is why we can’t stop eating when we’re full. Whether we’re a healthy weight or over weight – we all think a lot about food. And controlling that urge is often the hardest part.

Sugar is the main driver of our addiction. Then if we layer it with fat, it becomes even more addictive.

But food is love. And when it comes to showing love, we all think fat, sugar and salt. Unfortunately, most people don’t celebrate special occasions with a box of broccoli.

Let’s explore why we love sugar/fat/salt so much:

Well, first it’s evolution. We’re already programmed with an attraction to sugar and fat. Then it’s neuroscience. Food that contains fat, sugar and salt changes the neuro-circuitry of our brains, and keep us addicted to this trio. It’s important to understand (and awareness is the first step) that this stuff messes with our minds. It literally turns off our brain’s satiation meter, and keeps us coming back for more.

Here are some pointers for us, so we can break this addiction:

1. Take the bread away in a restaurant. When we reduce the desire for butter or olive oil (even though it’s a healthy fat) it’s helps us overcome the cue for fat.

2. Eat every 3-4 hours. The more structured our eating is, the better. The longer we go without food, the louder our short term, irrational mind becomes.

3. Eat out less. I know this is tough as so many of our gatherings take place at a restaurant. But when we eat out, we have no idea what’s really going into our food.

4. Change our food perceptions. If we change our food stimulus-reward response from, “Wow, that’s great!” to, “That’s just fat on sugar on fat. Gross!” when we see a plate of french fries, it’ll be easier to turn it down.

Most importantly, take baby steps. We shouldn’t say, “I’m never going to have sugar, fat or salt again!” That’s unrealistic.

Instead, let’s aim to cut it out for our next meal. And then the meal after that. Or if we’re up for the challenge, the entire day.

And if we’re really up for a challenge – let’s aim to cut it out for this coming week. Not forever, not for the rest of our life – just for this coming week.

Baby steps.

We love free. We can’t get enough of it. Give someone a free piece of crap, and they’ll take it. Actually, they’ll wait on line for it!

Give someone free food and not only will they wait on line for it but they’ll get all their friends, and they’ll all wait in-line together!

Let’s explore why we have such a hard time resisting free food.

We’re hard-wired to like sweets. Give a baby something sweet and they’ll like it over something unsweetened.

Now give anyone a combo of sugar, fat and salt and that becomes irresistible. And I mean that in every sense of the word.

Our brain loses its ability to regulate itself when we eat a combo of sugar, fat and salt. As humans we’re programmed to focus on the most ‘rewarding’ stimuli – because back in the day we actually had to worry about surviving.

But the combo of sugar, fat and salt (pick anyone of your favorite unhealthy tasting foods and snacks) has a pull on us. It literally overrides our brain’s natural ability to regulate itself.

There in lies the true problem.

Give me a bowl of broccoli and I’ll feel full.

Give me a bowl of cookies and I can keep eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them (You think I’m kidding?) – no matter how much I already ate!

We lose our ability to feel full when we eat irresistible foods.

If you put a plate of cookies in front of me, it’s going to be very hard for me to focus on anything else.

Why?

Well our dopamine (chemicals that make us feel good) levels are rising in anticipation of the reward. We can’t stop thinking about it…or can we?

Our brain works like that, unfortunately.

Now without having to pay for it – which is an act that makes you stop and think, “Wait do I really want this?” we lose that precious time to choose.

There is nothing in our way. The floodgates are open!

So, besides me telling you the obvious to avoid situations where there is free food, we can fight back and have a game plan.

In fact, having a game plan is the most important strategy.

Most of the time we’re either going to a party, or a work event or some sort of planned function – that we can prepare for. The key is to mentally prepare for it.

1. For example, if you’re going to your friends house who makes the best chocolate chip cookies – decide before you go how many you will have – if you decide it’s really worth it. Mentally rehearsing what you’re going to do before you do it is a great strategy. Because when we mentally rehearse we’re thinking with our long term, rational mind.

When we’re tempted we’re thinking with our short term, irrational mind.

Whether it’s shooting a basketball and seeing the ball go in before you shoot, or envisioning what you’ll order and eat, they both help a lot.

2. Finally, do not teeter. Do not waver. If someone put a plate of cookies in front of you right now (for those unexpected times) choose immediately.

“No! I don’t want this. It’s not going to make me feel good. It won’t make me look better or feel better.”

“If I eat this now, I won’t feel good about myself later and tomorrow!”

But the second you start to entertain the idea, you’re going to lose. Never negotiate with yourself.

It can’t be a negotiation. It has to be a quick decision.

“Nope! Not for me!” “It’s not a part of my plan!” Next thought…

Imagine watching TV and a commercial comes on that’s tempting you in an uncomfortable way – what would you do?

Change the channel!

You can do the same. Think about something else. Talk about something else. Snap a rubber band on your wrist.

So today and this week remember: change that channel

P.S. I understand how just writing the word c-o-o-k-i-e can stimulate us. That’s why it’s important to think about something else. Anything else! It doesn’t matter. Change that channel. Here, how about you watch this video (safe for work). Next time someones puts food in front of us that’s tempting I think we should all laugh at it like this!

Let’s explore. Shall we?

We feel deprived when we’re giving up something we (think) we want. But in the moment we feel deprived we’re only thinking with our short term, rational mind.

Don’t forget: We also want to feel energized and healthy and reach our health and fitness goals.

Here’s what I try to remind myself: If I give in to the discomfort (instead of embracing it) and listen to my short term, rational mind, I’m also depriving myself of getting to feel awesome.

We don’t (usually) think about this in the moment, though.

Tonight and this weekend remember that if you choose to indulge your irrational mind because you don’t want to feel deprived, you’re actually depriving yourself of long term goals and desires that’ll ultimately bring you far more happiness than 5 minutes of pleasure.

Sometimes when it rains a lot, I have the desire to stay in and relax and snuggle up with a good murder mystery and junk food.

However, every time I eat junk food, I feel the same way I did last time I ate it: Not good.

Like the lactose intolerant who loves pizza and ice cream or the diabetic who keeps eating sugar – we tend to forget the bad times when we’re craving something.

For example, do you remember how you felt after you ate a bunch of junk? Like really remember? Chances are you might think you do but if you completely did – you’d never binge again. It wouldn’t be an option.

During an intense urge/craving – we start talking to ourselves. We start rationalizing with ourselves. “I want this candy! I deserve this candy!” “No I really don’t want this! It’s not going to make me feel good. I shouldn’t!”

We go back and forth and we have this inner conflict with ourselves. When there’s inner conflict this causes there to be a feeling of discomfort.

It’s the discomfort that we become a slave to. The discomfort is caused by us not being completely sure if we want to resist the candy or not. We still think we might deserve it. We think about how it tastes too.

But then we think about how it’ll make us feel and how it’s not in alignment with our goals.

And we go back and forth…

Until, eventually, the discomfort is so uncomfortable – that we wind up giving in to ease the pain of the discomfort. We’re not even eating it because we want it so badly. We’re eating it to shut our mind up already!

And once you do – our mind fixates on something else and we move on.

Think about that for a second. The pain or discomfort of a craving is what might cause us to actually go over the edge and give in. Not even the food itself. And when it’s so intense – we give in – to ease that pain.

So here are some things I want us to remember for this week:

1. With fear – there is nothing to fear but fear itself. The first step to overcoming our fears is to acknowledge them. What are you actually afraid of? Why? But why? If you really probe and ask yourself questions like this you can learn a lot about yourself. All fear is self-induced. Fine…99% of it is.

The point being is that pain or discomfort is only pain and discomfort. Next time you feel uncomfortable acknowledge it. Think “Wow, I feel really uncomfortable right now. Recognize the inner conflict. Hear the battle between the devil on your shoulder and your Body Tutor on the other.

Be a spectator. But don’t participate. Just observe. Pretend you’re a fly on the wall. Because whatever the devil says will make sense. He knows how to get to you. And of course whatever your Body Tutor says on your shoulder will make sense too.

2. Remember that all pain and discomfort passes. <— This is worth reading again. Because in the moment we tend to forget this.

3. Don’t let yourself have the conflict in the first place! Conflict only occurs when two parties don’t agree. Instead of opening yourself up for negotiations walk around with a master plan. “I WILL not eat junk food or greasy foods because they don’t make me feel good. They never made me feel good!” “This isn’t a part of my plan. Thanks anyway!”

It’s not an option. The less we negotiate with our selves the better. Maybe admitting to yourself that you’re just junk food intolerant is the way to go. It removes an option. The option of even eating it.

Like a vegetarian or lactose intolerant person meat and milk just isn’t an option.

Think about that and be on the look out for the pain and discomfort!

But make sure you get first row seats…

You worked hard to get to this point – why give in now? Let’s keep pushing forward!

Easier said than done, of course, for many reasons. One of them being that we might find our selves with a persistent craving.

Here in lies the question we all face: Who do we listen to? Our short term self or our long term self.

Our short term self relentlessly tries to convince our long term self that we want those cookies or ice cream or chips or fries. That same short term self would try to convince a drug addict that just one more hit is okay.

Our long term self is what motivates us to exercise. To get up and go to work. To eat healthfully. To evolve. And improve. To resist. To achieve. To read this daily inspiration.

So who do we listen to?

Well, I believe when we listen to our short term self – not only are we being impulsive – which usually leads to self-destructive things happening – but we’re indulging in pleasure.

(Big difference between being impulsive and spontaneity, in my opinion.)

A life filled with short term pleasures is very different from a life time of happiness.

I don’t think pleasure and happiness are one in the same, at all.

A drug addict probably feels better than all of us when they are high. (I have no idea. I’m just assuming – why would people do the things they do for drugs?) Yet, what happens after they experience that intense pleasure?

Same for the person who refuses to give up the pleasure of indulging in fatty and fried and sugary food day after day. Sure it tastes good on the way down. But, of course, it doesn’t feel so good when our clothes no longer fit us. Or when we hate how we look and feel later on.

Pleasure is fleeting. Happiness isn’t.

I think the problem with cravings is that we entertain them to much. We think about them too much.

You know why? We’re stuck in our own damn head.

This weekend I’d like for us to all try something when we face a craving. It’s simple, unselfish and will benefit others (and you too).

Ready? When a craving hits simply:

Think away from yourself.

Hunger comes on gradually. Our stomach starts to growl, we feel a tad lightheaded or we just feel empty without much energy.

Emotional/mindless/habitual hunger comes on suddenly. Out of nowhere, we’re in the mood for something. If we really paid attention to our stomach we’d realize we weren’t physically hungry.

Then there’s mouth cravings. Mouth cravings can happen whether we’re physically or emotionally hungry. It’s when our mouth or tongue is craving something sweet or fatty or salty.

If we really pay attention to our body and mind we’d realize mouth cravings are really only in our mouth. They aren’t driven by our mind saying ‘comfort me’ or ‘help me escape reality for a few minutes.’

Mouth cravings typically occur after we eat certain foods. And the fix is easy.

For example, whenever I eat Italian food with some sort of marinara sauce I crave chocolate. And it’s really not emotionally driven. My mouth just feels like it wants something sweet.

So instead of giving in, I (try to!) have some grapes or an orange or better yet as soon as I’m done eating I floss, brush my teeth and use mouth wash.

I’m literally scraping the craving off my tongue. It works every time.

The challenging part is that so many of us enjoy the 5 minute escape of eating whatever it is we want. We don’t want to get in the habit of brushing our teeth even though we know it’ll work!

I’ve seen this time after time.

Clients are afraid to let go of their temporary escape so they purposely don’t brush their teeth.

It seems harder to just brush our teeth than to give in to our cravings. It’s like taking a bottle away from a baby. But as babies eventually grow out of using bottles – so can we.

We just need to try it. Try brushing your teeth immediately after a meal and you’ll be amazed at how quickly you forget about the craving.

If you never give yourself an opportunity to figure out what it is you really want, you’ll always resort to eating junk. And eating junk, unfortunately, has never made us feel more awesome than eating healthfully has.

Try snacking on some grapes or an orange – it will fix your cravings. Even better: try coming up with a nightly activity that’ll be soothing so you don’t have to give in to your mouth cravings at all.

So he traded in the lean proteins and fruits and veggies and complex carbs for fatty, fried and sugary foods.

He said, “I’ve become quite addicted to the kinds of fatty sugary food that is bad for you, and it’s going to be hard to get out of that habit.”

He then goes on to say, “Once you start eating an unhealthy diet, it is tough to break that cycle. I used to enjoy healthy food and eat a lot of lean meat, grilled fish and green leafy vegetables.

But now I’ve got the taste for chocolate, biscuits and fizzy drinks. The energy these foods give you is short-lived, so your body is soon wanting more.”

He said he also feels sluggish all the time.

There are a lot of interesting golden nuggets in this article.

I don’t even want to mention the fact that he was a trainer and had no idea what his clients were going through!

Regardless, I do understand how hard it is. That’s exactly why I started MyBodyTutor! I was working in Corporate America and I found myself constantly making excuses. Constantly rationalizing my poor eating and lack of exercise…and I hated it!

We truly are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act. But a habit!

I was in the habit of forming bad habits and making bad choices.

Just like we can get into healthy habits meal by meal, workout by workout, we can easily get out of healthy habits just like this guy did.

Great habits are very hard to form. Bad habits are very easy to form.

The more I exercise, the more I want to exercise! The less I exercise, the less I want to exercise!

The more sugar I eat, the more sugar I want! The more salt I eat, the more salt I want!

Unhealthy foods that are loaded with salt and sugar (especially) are mentally and physically addicting.

Each time we eat sugar, we’re further reinforcing learned behaviors. It’s very hard to break the habit. Believe me I know!

Here’s the obvious kicker:

The only thing that’s going to change things is changing things! And the only way to stop craving sugar is to actually stop eating it!

We’re not robots, though!

Saying you’re never going to eat sugar again is ridiculous. Start with a crazy small goal of, say, just today! No refined or processed sugars.

The only sugar you can eat is natural sugar in the form of fruit or in real food. But just start with your next meal. That’s it! And go meal by meal.

Realize each time you have an intense craving for sugar, and each time you feed it with natural sugar, not refined, your changing what your body wants.

Each time you give in, your further reinforcing those cravings.

And I’m not saying you can’t ever indulge in cake or cookies or candy. But we can all agree that we feel so much better when we’re ‘off’ sugar, for the most part.

Flex your sugar muscle!

The more you say no, the easier it’ll become! The more you say yes, the harder it becomes to say no!