I then said if that’s the case, she most likely feels entitled to eat whatever she wants. When I said the word “entitled” she said that word really hit home.

“I guess I feel entitled to eat whatever I want,” she said.

Bingo.

Let’s explore this a leeeettle bit…shall we?

She feels entitled to eat whatever she wants, HOWEVER, every time she does so she hates how she feels afterward.

Here’s the thing: We’re all entitled to eat whatever we want. We can eat 5 cookies or 1000 cookies a day. And guess what? No one can stop us!

But unfortunately (or fortunately) every single action we take has a consequence. Whether we take no action at all (that’s still an action) or do take action — there is a consequence – which can be a good or bad one.

The consequence in this case?

Not only will we feel like crap afterward, but we’ll also hate how we look LATER.

Which leads us to the now versus later mentality. So many of us only think about today.

As we know, the major difference between human beings and every other organism is that we think about the past, present and future.

Thinking about the future causes us to act differently. But so many of us ‘must’, ‘need’, ‘want’ to have that cookie now. Then when it comes time to get dressed up, or put on a bathing suit, or take our shirts off — we scream and cry and hate how we look and feel…

Now versus later.

The only way to look good later is to eat right now. Of course, we can’t eat healthy later now because now is, well, now.

Just as much as we’re entitled to eat whatever we want, we’re entitled to feel however we want too. And if we feel we’re entitled to eat whatever we want now, we’re going to feel bad later on.

Another thing that really helps is to think about how you WANT to feel.

As I asked this client, “Have you ever felt better from eating junk than you have from eating healthy food?” She replied, “Of course not. I hate how I feel when I eat junk!”

Exactly. And until eating junk makes me feel better than eating healthy, I will keep doing what I do.

If we focus on how we want to feel, and think about how certain foods make us feel physically and mentally it becomes so much easier to say no to a five minute high (aka, “food trance” as I like to call it) as opposed to an all day high (satisfaction and empowerment).

I will remind us of this. Food is only food. It’s not our best friend. It’s not our worst friend. It’s only food.

If we had a friend that made us feel awful after we spoke with him/her, and then made us feel guilty so we wanted to speak to him/her again to try to get rid of the awful feeling THEY gave us, we’d call that an abusive relationship. (Many times, because we feel guilty for eating crap, we wind up eating more of it to suppress those guilty feelings!)

Focus on how you WANT to feel. We’re absolutely entitled to eat whatever we want but remember every action has a consequence.

And that’s the key. Thinking BEFORE we eat. “How will this make me feel?”

The idea is to eat food that makes us feel good before (no trepidation), during (we feel empowered) and after (Energized! Satisfied! NOT guilty) we eat it. And, of course, this is never about not eating your favorite foods again. It’s about picking and choosing what and when is really and truly worth it.

And when it is — when it’s absolutely memorable, and we’re not eating to change the way we feel, we won’t feel guilty. We’ll say, “Hmm, that was so worth it!”

Exactly the way we feel when we make our health and fitness a priority!

##

How do we get amazing results for our clients? Learn more right now by cl-cl-cl-cl-icking here.

Sound familiar?

This internal chatter can be extremely taxing.

It’s a pure battle between our long term, rational mind versus our short term, irrational mind.

It’s Dr. Jekyllllllll versus Mr. Hydeeeee.

It’s our Body Tutor versus the devil on our shoulder.

Whatever you want to call it —> it’s extremely taxing. This internal debate can drive us crazy.

And here’s the weird reason why we might actually be eating junk food –> because we’re so sick of ‘listening’ to it! And we know that if we give in, and just eat whatever it is we’re obsessing over, we won’t have to listen to this internal debate anymore!

What I’m saying is that we might not even REALLY want the junk we’re eating. What we might want is peace and quiet.

Lisa, a client, writes this to me:

“I made the decision to eat like crap today. Because I’ve been thinking about it for a few days and I just don’t want to think about it anymore. It’s like what you were saying about the candy. I just ate to shut-up my food desires.”

Don’t you find this fascinating?

Because what we’re really after isn’t necessarily the food. And food, as much as we like to think it might, will never give us what we’re truly after.

So what can we do about this?

Question: if you were watching TV with a little kid and suddenly something very graphic appeared what would you do?

I think, you’d change the channel as fast as you possibly could, right?

As soon as we find ourselves starting to negotiate with ourselves we have a chance to turn it off. We have a chance to change that channel. We can choose to focus on something else. And that’s the key. It’s a very slippperrrryyy slope though. We have only a few seconds to change that channel.

Because once we go down that slope, we’re focusing our attention only on that “noise” and it’s very hard to change our focus unless…

What would happen if your favorite person walked in the door?

You’d very quickly forget about the temptation, and the internal chatter would stop.

What would happen if going forward, instead of only focusing on yourself in that moment, you focused on other things?

Thinking about this BEFORE we’re in the moment, is what makes this possible, because after all, the moment IS the moment. It’s hard to control what we do in the moment. But, if God forbid there’s an emergency we all know how to call 911 – even though we may never have in the moment, right?

How to practice: Right now whatever you’re thinking about change the channel and think about this: Why are manhole covers round?

Right now, you’re (hopefully) thinking fairly rational (meaning you’re not tempted) and you were able to change your focus to the question I just asked.

Next time you feel yourself starting to negotiate with yourself why can’t we quickly think about something else?

When we know what’s going on, while it’s going on, it’s much, much easier to change what goes on.

##

How do we get ridiculous results for our clients? Learn more right now at: http://www.mybodytutor.com/pages/

It’s still a duck as far as the rest of us are concerned.

I find myself telling people to ‘BE’ who they want to be. I also find myself telling people to ‘ACT’ like they really want to act. (I say “really” as if our long term,
rational mind was always running the show – not our short term, irrational mind.)

The problem with ‘being’ though is it’s too ambiguous. What does ‘be’ actually mean? ‘Act’ on the other hand is actionable.

Doing is possible. But ‘being’?

We could spend our time wondering if what we say we are is really us. Or we could just act like that all of the time. Or most of the time. Or some of the time…

Instead of us saying I want to “BE” healthier and fitter, let’s focus on the actions that will make us healthier and fitter.

After all, it’s our consistent healthy actions that will make the changes happen.

##

Accountability works! (Great story about how accountability worked so well for one of our clients. Great before/after picture as well!)

Today, I’d like to share with you how.

All politics aside, America was able to find Bin Laden because of one word:

Persistence.

What is persistence anyway?

Persistence is having the same goal over and over and over and over.

The challenge with weight loss is that it’s never about a hammer hitting plate glass.

It’s always about the accrued power of thousands of meals. Meals that accrue, morsel by morsel until our body is ready to change, starting a downward trend.

The first few pounds are very exciting, of course. Everyone lines up to cheer. (Our friends, loved ones, coworkers, etc.)

The pounds after that, though, are often lonely. (Everyone is great at STARTING diets…it’s the keeping on going. That’s the hard part! This is partially why we see so many people START diet after diet.)

Everyone has long left the building or the cheering section and moved on to celebrate some other first few pounds.

And so the pounds after the first few pounds, oftentimes get questioned by ourselves the most.

“Am I still working on this?” “Do I really want to lose the weight?” “Is this that important to me?” “Is this really worth it?”

These thoughts are coming straight from our short term, irrational mind.

Remember: in the battle between our short term, irrational mind vs. our long term, rational mind, the job of the irrational mind is to reduce the amount of discomfort we face as much as possible. Why? Our short term/irrational mind cares about one thing and one thing only: NOW. And this is the battle we all face. Balancing living for today versus living for tomorrow.

Let’s talk about 3 ways to get what we want out of life.

There’s 3 ways to get what we want in life:

1. Actually, get what we want! (“That was so insightful Adam!”)

2. Or, and this is what most people do, change what they want.

They change what they want because they realize that getting what they want isn’t so easy. They realize it takes a lot of consistency as well as discomfort and compromise.

So they rationalize…

“Eh, I don’t care about my body. He/she should love me for who I am!”

“Screw it, I rather enjoy my life now and eat whatever I want than be a miserable fit person!”

“I’ll worry about my health and fitness later. I’m too busy with work!”

“I’ve lost enough weight.”

I can go on and on. But we all do this.

Remember: Obstacles and challenges are those annoying things that appear when we lose sight of our goals.

3. It turns out, the most effective way to get what we want – is to keep having the same goal over and over and over.

So, let’s not let our irrational mind try to convince us otherwise. We all know what we want. Let’s keep going after it day by day.

##

One of the most common things I hear from people is, “I do great for the first few weeks or so then I fall off track.” Yes, I’m biased — BUT if consistency were so easy, we’d all do it. Consistency is the hard part! And that is why I obsess over it. Because I know if I can help you stay consistent (and that’s what my program does), I can help you get (and keep!) the results you want, and deserve. If you’re tired of STARTING diets but not finishing them learn more right now at: http://www.mybodytutor.com/pages/

“Why in the world would learning how to swim benefit me?” you wonder.

I’ll explain…

Let’s say we don’t know how to swim and we decide it’s finally time to learn. We want to overcome our fear of water. Bravo! That takes a lot of courage.

So, we find a local gym or pool club. Maybe there’s even a public pool that we weren’t aware of.

Then, we look online to find a swim instructor. After plenty of wrong numbers, we find someone who’s really passionate about helping people learn how to swim with a successful track record. Boom! We’re getting somewhere.

Next, we need to get the gear! We look online and find a bathing suit. Ohh, there’s one we like. Eh, we don’t really like it, after all. We go to another website…

We find the bathing suit. Ugh, it’s not in stock!

After spending three hours searching we finally find the one!

What about goggles? Can’t swim without goggles!

The big day comes. It’s the day of our first lesson.

Uh oh. We realize that we don’t have any shoes to wear by the pool! Whoops! We can’t swim without shoes to wear around the pool!

So we cancel and reschedule.

We’ve done everything we could possibly do BUT swim.

Sometimes, no matter what, we just gotta jump in the pool.

It’s like the monster I always talk about. Once we attack it, it’s not so bad. The monster is never as scary as it seems.

We just need that push.

But we gotta jump in…

**

When we’re faced with an intense craving, we’re usually only thinking about THAT craving. We’re not thinking about anything else. And because of that — we can’t imagine our life without giving into those cravings.

Here’s the challenge: many times, we think about what life would be like without EVER having that mid-afternoon or nighttime snack. We can’t imagine it!

(You might not realize it but it’s subconscious. And because we can’t imagine our life without our “usual” mid-afternoon snack or dessert, we think, “Screw it. Why bother? I DESERVE this and I’m entitled to this because I work hard.” Why do we do this? Because the discomfort in that moment is too great. So we have to rationalize it away.)

**

You’re a swimmer and someone is terrified of jumping in the pool. YOU know how much fun it is but they don’t.

There is a really fun amusement park ride that YOU know is fun but the person you’re with is scared.

You’re eating this really weird looking food that’s absolutely delicious. But the person you’re with is grossed out, and doesn’t want to try it.

What would you say?

Probably something along the lines of, “Just try it once. Everything will be okay. What’s the worst that can happen?”

**

What I’m suggesting is that if you want to break that mid-day or nighttime snacking habit — focus only on not having it TODAY. Don’t focus on tomorrow. Don’t focus on next week. Just focus on today. Because once we go through the afternoon or evening WITHOUT that snack or dessert, we realize it’s actually doable, and not nearly as bad as we thought it would be.

But again, we can’t know that unless we “just jump in” and try it once.

I’ll be right here waiting with a huge comfy towel for you.

##

The creator of “Boardwalk Empire” credits my mom for inspiring him. He mentioned her in the NY Daily News the other day. Check it out here. It’s a pretty cool story.

But I’m not going to just tell it to you because that would be booooring.

Getting the body we want is about 3 things: Eating right. Exercising. And doing those two things consistently.

Unfortunately, it’s the consistency part that’s so hard.

Besides the usual culprits like rationalizing, procrastinating and justifying – consistency is even harder because it CAN get so booooring.

Variety is the spice of life, right?

Not in our case.

In our case, consistency is the spice of life!

And because consistency can get boring we tend to bounce from one fad diet to the next, always in search of the newest fad diet, instead of focusing on what actually works.

We all know deep down, the secret to success is —> doing the right things over and over and over and over again. And doing the right things over and over and over and over again. And doing the right things over and over and over again.

No matter what diet we follow, or what ‘magic pill’ we take (they don’t exist!), or what the ‘magic food’ of the moment is, if we want to be successful, eventually, we’re going to have to do the actual work.

And the actual work means eating right, eating less, and moving more…consistently.

There is no escaping this! I repeat: We can’t escape the work if we want results.

While the majority of people are searching for the “latest and greatest fad diet” we’re doing the right things day in and day out. While the majority of people are searching for the “new and shiny diet” we’re losing weight week after week.

Once in a blue moon, a client will ask me if I get bored of what I do. “Don’t you get bored of reading my Daily Feedback every day?”

It’s an honest question.

The answer is absolutely not! Because I know each Daily Feedback will lead us one step closer to where we want to be. Each Daily Feedback is a critical part of this journey. Every meal counts. Every workout counts.

And what really drives me, and what I really love, is the thrill I get when you email me and say “Damn! This is working!” “My pants feel so loose!” “I hate you because I have to buy new clothes!”

That’s what gets me out of bed every morning. That’s what keeps me up at night.

THIS is what I live for!

Because I know we can’t escape the discomfort we have to endure, we just can’t.

Here’s what I mean: change by nature is uncomfortable. And if we’re doing the same things we used to do, we’re not changing and therefore we won’t feel any discomfort. In other words, discomfort IS our compass. Discomfort means we’re doing things DIFFERENTLY, and therefore getting closer to where we want to be.) Nor can we escape the day to day consistency we have to stick to, which isn’t sexy whatsoever – even though, it’s ridiculously effective!

And because it’s so easy to avoid the inevitable – being consistent and sticking with a sensible eating and exercise plan – I know (in fact, I’m 1000% convinced – though I’m admittedly biased) daily and personal accountability and support is what makes ALL of the difference.

No one said it’s easy. Nor sexy. But ask anyone who’s pursued anything worth doing —> (usually, things that are hard to obtain or else it wouldn’t be worth all that much nor would it be inspiring) — and they’re certainly convinced it’s worth it.

So let’s embrace the consistency for today and this week.

And when it feels a little boring, that’s our time to LEAN in even more and make more change happen. Because like our moods, we have ups and downs. And when we’re up, it feels easy.

But when it’s easy, we quickly forget about the inevitable downs that 9.9 times out of 10 knock us off our tracks for good.

And that’s when most people go back to their old ways and then start something else and repeat the cycle over and over again.

But not on my watch. Oh no. Not on my watch.

##

And this guy guarantees weight loss success with my program or your money back! Insane? Nope. I just believe that much in what we’re doing, and I’m putting my money where my words are. In fact, we’re the only program that offers a 100% money-back gaurantee.

You can literally work with a tutor for a month, and if you don’t see/feel results, I’ll give you your money back. It’s as simple as that. What are you waiting for? Join now!

By the way, I think this is pretty powerful. Actually, I think all of my stuff is powerful and useful — otherwise, I wouldn’t bother posting it. And I wouldn’t spend the time I do writing these. Anyway, read this when you have a few free minutes of uninterrupted time.

Let’s get to it.

I like to look at things in ‘have tos’ versus ‘get tos’.

Let me explain…

There are plenty of things we ‘have to’ do versus a lot of things we ‘get to’ do.

For example, if we want to ‘get to’ feel and look awesome, we ‘have to’ eat healthfully.

If we want to ‘get to’ feel really energized, we ‘have to’ exercise.

Do I love exercising? Do I love eating healthfully?

Sure, sometimes I do. But I don’t necessarily love it ALL the time. Sometimes, I’d rather be watching TV and eating hamburgers, and drinking milkshakes.

What I love is how I FEEL when I’m done exercising, and how I feel when I eat healthfully.

So therefore if I want to ‘get to’ feel incredible, I ‘have to’ exercise. If I want to ‘get to’ feel vibrant and healthy, I have to eat natural, whole and nutritious foods *consistently*.

Everything we do has a consequence. And when we break down all the things we ‘get to’ do, we realize all the things we ‘have to’ do.

We all have things we look forward to doing. And we all have things we need to do to be able to do the things we look forward to.

Do you love packing for vacation? I hate it. But if I want to ‘get to’ go on vacation, I ‘have to’ pack.

Let’s take MBT, for example. We all know and love MBT, right? “Right!”

Well, there are lots of things I ‘have to’ do in order to ‘get to’ do the things I really live for — actually helping my clients, writing, doing Feedbacks, etc. But there are lots of things I ‘have to’ do in order to be able to ‘get to’ help people. (Some would argue that I should outsource the things I don’t love doing. Sure, I could. But I still think there will always be things I ‘have to’ do.)

Anyway, when you start to look at all of the things in your life you might ‘have to’ do so you ‘get to’ do, it makes the ‘have to’s’ become a lot more appealing….

WHAT IF you looked at all of the ‘have tos’ as opportunities? How would that change the way you approach getting stuff done.

WHAT IF before you do something really annoying or something you don’t want to do…you said to yourself, “I ‘have to’ do this in order to ‘get to’ do….”

Imagine how differently you’d approach everything.

BUT — Who wants to ‘have to’ do anything?!? A really powerful way to re-frame that is to switch the ‘have to’ with ‘CHOOSE to’ or ‘WANT to’.

I CHOOSE to and WANT to do a lot of things because I know what I’ll GET to do or feel…

I CHOOSE to eat healthfully because I will GET TO feel freakin’ awesome.

I CHOOSE to exercise because I want to feel happier and energized.

I WANT to do the boring things of MBT because I will GET TO do the parts I love doing.

Kapeech?

What do you want to ‘get to’ do or feel?

What do you ‘CHOOSE to or WANT to’ do to make that happen?

**

Are we friends on Facebook? Here’s the link —> https://www.facebook.com/MyBodyTutor

“You’ve tried everything?” asks the speaker.

“Everything,” the guy replies.

“What were the last hundred things you tried?” asks the speaker.

“Well,” the guy admits, “I haven’t actually tried a hundred things.”

“Then what were the last twenty-five things you did?” asks the speaker.

“I haven’t tried twenty-five things, really, either,” the guy responds.

“So how many things have you actually tried?” asks the speaker.

“Well,” says the guy, sheepishly, “maybe five or six.”

**

When Jeff first signed up, he told me he had tried everything and nothing worked. Naturally that excited me. It’s always fun to see if MBT is as effective as I believe/know it is.

What happened?

After a week of working with him he wanted to quit! And remember before Jeff started, he had told me that no matter what he’s done in the past, he couldn’t lose weight!

I was astonished.

You know why?

In our first week together, we LOST 3 pounds!

[This is also why a few people have wanted to quit the program WITHOUT even trying it! They'll sign up, have their initial phone consult, and then decide it's not for them. And with EACH and EVERY instance - it came down to fear. And I'm proud to say all of those people went onto reach their goal and then some. By helping them understand their behavior, they had a breakthrough and were able to push through their former patterns and behavior. Otherwise, they would have been seven diets removed from MBT - not having been able to stick to any of them.]

This is fascinating to me…

This is all part of human behavior. This is what keeps me so interested in this game.

I love exploring the psychological reasons behind our actions. After all, it’s ALL psychological.

Let’s talk about cognitive dissonance…

This happens when we have two conflicting desires. For example, smoking. It is well known that smoking cigarettes can cause lung cancer yet every person I’ve ever met wants to live a long, healthy and fit life. But the short term / irrational mind of a smoker enjoys it, and wants to smoke.

The uncomfortable tension caused by these two opposing desires is known as dissonance. As humans, we look to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling. This is known as dissonance reduction.

The only way to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling is by a) quitting smoking b) denying that people actually get sick from smoking or c) justifying and rationalizing.

For example, a smoker could rationalize their behavior by believing that few people get sick from smoking, it only happens to people who smoke more than they do, if smoking doesn’t kill them something else will, they’ll quit next year, they only live once and they deserve to smoke or it’s too expensive to quit (amazing to me how cheap people are with themselves when it comes to their own health and fitness. Yet, they’ll gladly spend money on restaurants, stuff, activities, etc. Everything means NOTHING without our health and fitness).

In essence, they either need to take action (quit smoking and get whatever help they need <—- this is very hard!) or they need to make themselves feel better by rationalizing their smoking, and do the easiest thing of all — do nothing at all. (<—this is much easier and that’s why most people do it).

Knowing this, let’s talk about why Jeff who has “tried everything” to lose weight, and finally did with MBT, wants to quit the program.

I’ll tell you why:

F.E.A.R.

It comes down to either fear of change, fear of failure or fear of success.

Everything he says boils down to fear.

There’s an old saying that I love:

“The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”

In this case because Jeff actually succeeded, he realized he was going to have to change for the long term. And unfortunately, real change is uncomfortable.

He got scared.

Because deep down, Jeff wasn’t ready to really change. He didn’t think MBT would actually work. So he wasn’t prepared to let go of emotional eating.

In his mind, he needs to emotionally eat and he can’t imagine life without doing so.

His success made him fear the change.

So now, Jeff is coming up with all sorts of excuses because he really doesn’t want to change. His main excuse is that now is not the right time to lose weight.

Interesting.

Because he wants to change – but sorta doesn’t want to change – that’s causing a lot of dissonance or tension or discomfort (whatever you want to call it).

He has to get rid of that discomfort somehow…so he’ll find anything and latch on to it so he can ease the tension.

(Ahhh yes…I’m too busy to focus on my health and fitness. Now is not the right time. I’ll wait until the stars are aligned. Yes!!! Whew. Now I can rationalize my excuse – and not feel as bad and quit the program so I don’t have to change…because I’m really scared to change.)

The real problem ISN’T that it takes so much time to be BE and ACT healthy. We make time for what’s important to us.

The real problem is that he doesn’t want to actually change. He rather just talk about changing. (We’ll work on this.)

Instead of criticizing or shaming him like so many people out there would do (because it’s the obvious and easy thing to do), it’s far more effective to help him understand his own behavior. (Shaming or criticizing never leads to long lasting change.)

Fighting human nature is silly.

Instead, when we understand what’s going on around us, it makes it a lot easier to call it what it is and move forward.

##
No More Excuses. It’s time to invest in yourself. Join my program today at MyBodyTutor.com!

The broken window theory is fascinating, and I believe it applies so much to our health and fitness.

It suggests that people on streets with lots of broken windows, graffiti, garbage, etc., are more likely to throw trash on the street, graffiti the walls, and overall have much less respect for the property on that street than if it were gleaming.

Think about it this way…

When you’re in a sparkling bathroom you’re way more likely to keep it that way.

When former Mayor Giuliani first become mayor of NYC, he went after the small infringements like meter skipping for subways, graffiti, and getting rid of the guys that washed car windows whether you asked them to or not.

He felt that if you attack the small nuances, the serious ones like assault, rape and murder would diminish.

He was right.

So, I believe this applies to us as well…

I find that:

When my office is messy, I’m not nearly as productive, organized and on point.

When my kitchen is messy, I tend to order in food more.

When my laundry is piling up, I skip the gym because I don’t have any clothes to wear.

When I don’t have healthy food stocked up, I’m way more likely to eat unhealthy.

I try very hard not to let the small annoying things build up.

Seems like common sense but it can make a BIG difference, and it’s certainly not common practice.

Like —> spending just 5 minutes every night cleaning and organizing, stopping at the grocery store (no matter how annoying it might be), and doing laundry every week, as opposed to letting it build up.

THE PROBLEM WITH LETTING THINGS BUILD UP…

Is that they become DAUNTING! As tempting as it is to say, “Alright, I’ll do everything once…”, it’s much more effective and way LESS daunting to do a little every day.

I find that when I stay on top of these small but impactful tasks, staying consistent with my diet and exercise is easier.

Just like nothing begets nothing — consistency begets consistency.

So, if you’re unsure of what to do this evening, why not spend some time cleaning and organizing?

Small things can make a big difference and we might as well make them work in our favor.

**

Like this post? You’ll LOVE our program. Learn more now by clicking here.

And with that comes A LOT of events and gatherings with family and friends…

And, for many, with that comes peer pressure eating.

I’d like to dive into this.

Peer pressure (in the sense that I’m used to it) is when we feel that if we don’t do what everyone else is doing we’ll be the outcast. Usually, it’s with our friends or family members, which is sort of ironic.

In this case, though, I think the peer pressure we might be facing is from ourselves. We don’t want to stand out, and we really don’t want to make a big deal about our healthy eating habits.

Here’s the thing:  no one really cares about our habits, unless we do.

When we start saying things like, “Ugh! I wish I could have XYZ!” or, “I wish I could have what you’re having!” or “I want dessert so badly but I can’t!” that’s when people care…

That’s when people get involved.

It’s like everything else. If we’re cool with it, and if we’re comfortable with ourselves, other people will be comfortable with us.

If we’re uneasy about something, other people will be uneasy about it.

And let’s just say our friends or family members do make some comments. For basically my entire life, my friends have made “jokes” when they are out to eat with me. Sometimes I choose to indulge, and sometimes I don’t.

But I think there’s some truth to every ‘joke’ we make about someone. Whether it’s good hearted or not, here’s what I’ll say: Deep down, everyone respects a healthy and fit person. (Of course, they could be a complete jerk. I’m just talking about being respected for solely being fit, etc.)

Let’s look at it another way…

Unfortunately, sometimes people are very rude.

And no one makes fun of a fit person for being fit. BUT sometimes people make fun of overweight people for being overweight. It’s just the way it is.

Many of us hate in other people what we hate about ourselves. And if your friend wished they were as focused as you are, they might feel the need to make “jokes” to make themselves feel better.

To me, eating unhealthy and junk usually isn’t worth it. I don’t like how I feel after. And time after time, when I’m with my friends and they choose to eat unhealthy, they always regret it afterward. “Ugh, my stomach is killing me! “I’m so tired now!” “I should’ve had what you ate!”

I wish my friends/coworkers/family ate the way I did

Why not be a leader?

In college, especially, because I lived with my friends, and in high school too – none of my friends were into health and fitness the way I was. Not even close. Why not become a positive influence? Or better yet —> lead by example.

How to get people to think you’re annoying

I never, ever, offer advice unless people ask for it – however, leading by example is the most powerful thing you can do. And many of my friends in college starting eating the way I did. And this was in college! I became the go to guy.

It’s been that way for most of my life. Why not be that person with your friends? It’s fun.

When food is love…

For many, food IS love. Not eating something, in the moment, doesn’t seem like an option when Grandma is practically forcing us to eat her “famous” dish.

Here’s the thing: we feel bad, and then we start to waver. Once we start wavering, it’s game over. Grandma (or our friend or coworker) isn’t leaving us alone!

BUT, if you immediately say something like, “Grandma, no thank you! I’m going to pass.” it’s hard to argue with that.

And then the key is to add in something like, “I know how hard you worked, and I know you love me, and I love you too! But I’m going to pass on this. I do appreciate your efforts though, a lot!” that usually helps. (Grandma just wants to be recognized for her efforts, and her thoughtfulness, which is completely understandable. So it IS possible to give her what she wants without actually eating it.)

It’s OKAY to say “No, I’m going to pass,” and not second guess ourselves. Remember: we never regret our healthy choices. Once we answer with the “Well, maybe…” we’re opening ourselves up for peer pressure.

You’ll be satisfied AND empowered after the meal when you order/eat/get what our body (not our mind) really craves.

It’s certainly harder with all sorts of unhealthy foods and junk around and peer pressure. No doubt.

But that’s on us because we don’t want to feel different. That’s not peer pressure.

As always, I’m here to help!

**

SPEAKING OF HELP…

From time to time, I like to offer free phone consults, and now is one of those times!

If you want to set up a free 10 minute consultation email me at adam at mybodytutor dot com with “Free Consult” in the subject line. We will talk about nothing but YOU. Many people have told me that speaking on the phone with me completely changed the way they think about diet and exercise.

HURRY! I’m limiting this to the first 10 people who email me so I suggest you act quick. I’m posting this at 6:15 PM EST on 4/5. I will update this once 10 people email me. I look forward to speaking!

[Update: As of 12:18PM EST on 4/6, all 10 slots have been taken. Sorry!]