Happy Friday Team!

I believe happiness is the name of the game – making yourself happy and the people around you happy.

I also believe achievement is the key to happiness. Growing, evolving, and changing (for the better) is what it’s about.

But how do we achieve?

Well, we need to be disciplined. Discipline, then, is the key to happiness.

What is discipline?

Discipline is doing what we really want to do deep down without letting temptations get in our way. Discipline is being focused on the outcomes and feelings we want to feel. Discipline is listening to our long term, rational mind as opposed to our short term, irrational mind.

Discipline is driving to our destination without making a rest stop.

When I say destination I mean either going to the gym, going for a run, preparing a healthy meal, choosing a healthy meal, etc.

The destination in this case are all the tasks that help us get to where we want to be.

The climb up is always more fun than reaching the summit. The journey is where it’s at. All the fun and challenge and growth and evolution happens during the journey.

In order to be disciplined, though, we need to make sacrifices. Sacrifices are absolutely the key to discipline. If you’re not making any sacrifices you’re not being very disciplined because there’s always a constant battle between our short term and long term self.

Sacrifices come in the form of:

Going 3 extra reps…when you’re in pain.
Running an extra 5 minutes…when you feel like stopping.
Putting the fork down when you’re satisfied…but not full.
Squeezing your muscles extra hard as you’re working out..even though it hurts.
Waking up early…even though you’d like to sleep late.
Dealing with your emotions…as opposed to eating them.
Submitting your feedback…even though you ate poorly.

So today and this weekend, see how many sacrifices you’re making. Think about them. Every time you do, you’re one step closer to feeling (and looking) the way you want.

Every single day we’re tempted. Every day is another chance to give in. Every day is a battle.

That’s why it’s important to practice making sacrifices. Keep filling up that space on the Daily Feedback. It’s there for a reason and it becomes a very fun game.

It’s there because the more sacrifices we make, the more disciplined we’ll be. And the more disciplined we are, the happier we’ll be!

I wanted to share a routine with you that my extremely smart friend, Cal Newport, does that’s extremely corny but also great.

Cal is incredible. He is an aspiring professor who just completed his PhD at MIT and is now completing his post-doc there too. While doing all of this – he was maintaining his popular blog, Study Hacks, and is now on his 3rd book. If anyone knows about productivity and stress – it’s him.

So, a while back he had a post about he drastically reduces work stress with a shutdown ritual.

When he’s done with work for the day, he says his magic phrase, “schedule shutdown, complete.”

I know. I know. Even he was embarrassed to admit it. But there’s a golden nugget for us…

Many people do the worst of their eating late at night, when no one is around, after they already had dinner.

I want you to try a new routine this week. I’ve been experimenting with it for a few months and it’s helping a lot.

As soon as you’re done with dinner, I’d like for you to go to the bathroom and brush your teeth. Even better would be to floss, and use mouth wash as well.

Then before you go back to the kitchen to clean the dishes, log on and submit your feedback.

I promise the dishes will still be there.

By doing this not only are you cleaning your mouth and in essence ‘closing the kitchen’ so to speak but you’ll also be way less likely to eat anything else while you’re cleaning up the kitchen.

Many people eat 3 dinners. While they’re preparing dinner, during dinner and after dinner. This will definitely help with the after dinner eating.

Because your mouth will feel so fresh, you won’t want to eat anything else. You’ll also be less likely to have mouth cravings – which is when you ‘truly’ just want something sweet.

One of the many reasons why MBT works so well is because lying to yourself (and us) is the worst feeling in the world. Of course, if you choose to eat something after submitting your feedback, you’ll feel compelled to report to us. And that’s okay. Honesty is key! But it just adds another barrier to eating.

“Do I really want to eat this?” “Do I really want to email my tutor about this?”

And if you feel like getting all goofy, instead of saying, “schedule shutdown, complete,” how about saying, “feedback is submitted, kitchen is closed!”

Here’s my idea of what the purpose of the mind is:

1. I don’t think our mind was designed to make us worry. I think it was designed to make us fear. There’s a very huge difference between running for your life because a Lion is chasing you (that’s real and warranted fear) and worrying about finishing work on time or worrying about how your kids did on their spelling exam.

2. What is worrying anyway? Worrying is a killer. If I can be frank, it’s a motherf@#$@$!!!! It leads to stress and anxiety, which truly wreaks havoc on our health and well being. Worrying and anxiety is about repeatedly re-experiencing the worst case scenario in advance. What are you worrying about anyway? It didn’t happen yet!

3. I don’t think our mind was designed to think about the same things over and over. At least not thoughts that make us suffer. Or thoughts that impede us from…

4. Thinking of new things! That’s the purpose of the mind, in my very humble opinion. For example, say, I think of a topic for a Daily Inspiration. The old me would’ve acknowledged it and then forgotten about it.

Then, I’d try to remember it and struggle. And then it would come back to me at a weird time. Now, when I think of something productive, I write it down. Boom. Done. Out of my head. Onto the next thing…

5. When I keep thinking about things that hinder my ability to be the best I can be – it’s time to inquire within. Why? What can I do about it? Here’s the key: If I don’t deal with it, It’ll keep haunting me.

6. For example, say, I want to mail a thank you card. But I don’t do anything about it. I don’t add it to my to-do list, I don’t buy a card, nothing. It’s just renting space in my head and bothering me. Not good!

So, now, I just write it down. Boom. It’s done. It’s actionable. I don’t need to worry about it anymore. When thoughts like this are floating around in my head it’s very draining.

7. “You worry about thank you cards?” you wonder. I do. I’m weird. What can I say?

But what about ‘real things’ to worry about. Ask yourself, “What are you afraid of?” Then follow with, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” These 2 questions alone can you help you tremendously!

8. The purpose of the ‘3 outcomes Section’ on the Daily Feedback is so you don’t have to worry about tasks like mailing out a thank you card. Use it. It works like a charm.

Just pick 3 things that are floating around in your head and write them down so you get them out of your head already. And if they’re not actionable – just plain old things you worry about – go back to number 7 but try not to forget numero uno.

Yes, I know! Big claim in the subject line. But I believe I can deliver. Here it is…

So a monk tells Joshu, “I have just entered the monastery. Please teach me.”

Joshu asked, “Have you eaten your rice porridge?”

The monk replied, “I have eaten.”

Joshu said, “Then you had better wash your bowl.”

At that moment the monk was enlightened.

I love this little story. Because it reminds me to stop thinking so much and just take the next action.

It’s so easy to get caught up in figuring out answers to questions like, “What’s the meaning of life?” and all sorts of other mind-numbing questions.

It’s also so easy to get frustrated and intimidated when we have a long journey ahead of us.

When something seems overwhelming – like trying to lose weight – we usually choose choice C: None of the above and do nothing.

Instead, just focus on your very next meal. Your very next workout.

Focus on your very next action, your very next interaction, your very next task.

That’s it. That’s all you can do.

Although you can worry about eating poorly this coming weekend, there’s nothing you can do right now. Except, focus on your very next meal.

When in doubt…just wash the bowl.

Don’t ask questions. Don’t ponder.

Meta-cognition is defined as “cognition about cognition,” or, “knowing about knowing.” What the heck am I talking about you ask?

In other words: it’s thinking about your own thinking.

Some people out there suggest that you should try to control your own thoughts. Trying to control my thoughts seems pretty ridiculous to me though. How can you control your thoughts?

I have no idea. That’s like trying to control the wind. It ain’t happening. Having thoughts is what your mind is for. They just pop up.

But what I do believe we can do is control how we react to our thoughts. Big difference.

Thinking is a beautiful thing. And problems (or suffering) only occur when you get caught up on a particular thought.

Being aware of your own thinking is very valuable.

For example, do you always worry? Do you always assume the worst? Are you overly forgiving of yourself?

There are definite patterns we all have. If you tend to turn hiccups into huge deals and worry (for no reason) realize that’s what you do.

If you obsess over things realize this.

If you’re very forgetful don’t forget that. Ha! (Start writing things down)

The more you can be aware of your own thinking the better off you’ll be.

According to scientists the new crucial skill to making good decisions is the ability to think about your own thinking. Unless you reflect on how you’re making decisions, you won’t be able to use your instincts or gut.

According to psychologist Philip Tetlock the best predictor of good judgment isn’t intuition or experience or intelligence. It’s the willingness to engage in introspection.

Our thinking is extremely faulty. And it’s important you realize this.

Check this:

This game we’re about to play only has one rule. Don’t think about white bears. You can think about anything but white bears. Ready?

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Now banish the animals from your head.

You just lost the game! (It’s okay everyone loses the game.)

That’s what happens. Try to avoid thinking about a white bear and that thing will come to mind every minute. In fact, whenever we try not to think about something, be it ice cream or bears that thing comes to mind. Stuck in our loop of self-consciousness.

Our mind backfires. Our attempts at repressing the thought turn into a fixation.

But being aware of this is the first step – that our mind fixates on things – you can learn to not listen or trust your thoughts. You can realize that your thoughts are just thoughts.

You don’t have to necessarily react to them. You don’t have to believe them. You don’t have to act on them.

Just realizing that’s what our mind does can be hugely helpful.

2 examples:

1. Let’s say a family member doesn’t call you back. You can go into a tail spin of thinking about why they haven’t called you back. You can (and will) create all sorts of stories about what might have happened and the reasons why.

Or – you can just realize that our mind is faulty and creates all sorts of stories and that you shouldn’t believe any of them. In fact, you should just laugh at your thoughts and not pay attention to them because this is what your mind does.

2. You fixate on a certain food. Therefore, you fixate on it even more. Realize your mind is going to torture you. And play tricks on you. Being aware of this helps a lot. “Fine – let me obsess over this piece of food. I know that’s what’s going to happen. But I won’t listen to you mind! Because I know in a little while, I’ll have forgotten all about you!”

Make sense?

Make it a mindful and thoughtful day!

This weekend I was watching some college basketball. March Madness is here!

As I was watching some of the games, I realized we can all learn from basketball players and how they get ready for foul shots.

When basketball players get fouled, they take foul shots. Every basketball player whether they are pro, collegiate, high school, middle school or even elementary level (if they are any good) has a foul shot routine.

Here are some examples: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mttHlV1WjMk&NR=1

Every time a player is at the foul line they do their routine before each shot.

So, what if before we ate, we did a little pre eating routine. Say, for example, a deep breath.

In basketball, usually it’s a deep breath and a combination of a certain number of dribbles and/or spins. Some players touch their face, others point, and some even blow a kiss.

The point is to slow down. To regain some composure and to forget about the last play – to just focus on the task at hand: Making the foul shot (s).

In our case, it should be to focus only on the meal or snack in front of us – not how good or bad the last meal was – and to eat as mindfully as possible.

What if your routine was always making sure you had a glass of water to the right of the plate, a fork and knife and a napkin. Some players also say something to themselves whether it’s a mantra or an affirmation. What if you said a little something to yourself?

The point is to slow down. If you create a routine like this, it’ll help a lot. That’s also why I suggest you only eat while sitting down.

You should be consistent with your routine too. A consistent routine will lead to a consistent performance, which in our case, hopefully leads to slower and more mindful eating.

Next time you eat, pretend you’re at the foul line. What’s your routine going to be?

P.S. I realize some of you may already have a pre eating routine in which you say thanks or give blessings for your food. Even better! Could you do it for every meal?

I hope you had a great weekend! I know my lovely Canadian clients did!

It’s Monday. It’s March 1st. We all have great intentions for the day. For the week. And for the month. Yet, many of us miss appointment after appointment with others, and mostly, ourselves.

Here’s how to prevent that from happening again:

Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz in their book, The Power of Full Engagement, describe a study in which a group of women agreed to do a breast self-exam for a period of 30 days.

100% (yes, 100%!) who said when and where they were going to do it completed the 30 day exam. Only 53% of the others did.

In another study, drug addicts in withdrawal (can you find a more stressed out population? I also think many of us are food addicts so we can relate) agreed to write an essay before 5PM on a certain day.

80% of those who said when and where they’d write the essay completed it! In this case, NONE of the others did.

Bottom line: If you want to get something done, decide when and where you’re going to do it. Otherwise, don’t expect to do it.

Tip: On your Daily Feedback tell me what time you intend on exercising and where. In fact, for any nagging task that makes the outcome list write when and where.

Let’s go! (Right now, wherever you are!)

I think and write a lot about the internal conflict we all have between our short term and irrational self vs our long term and rational self.

Who do you listen to? Who do you want to listen to? Who do you wind up listening to?

Typically, I try to listen to my long-term self because our short term self is slightly irrational as its primary job is to focus on the most rewarding stimuli in the present.

So the question I try to ask myself is, “What benefits my future self?”

For example, out of all the food choices you face each day, each meal even, what benefits your future self the most?

The only downside I can think of is that if you get hit by a bus, no one collects on your future self benefits.

Of course, if you think like that, you might as well be a heroin addict and live for the now. Ridiculous right? Just like thinking you’ll never benefit later on from your wise choices now.

The twist (there’s always a twist) is that when you do what benefits your future self it actually feels better in the short term too. Because usually when we listen to our short term self and go against our long term self, we feel all sorts of negative feelings.

“What benefits my future self?” Try it.

Talk to ya later!

One of the many rationalizations we all face is the good old “Enjoy life now!”

When I eat healthfully and exercise – I feel better, in other words, happier, than if I didn’t.

But I love cookies. I love ice cream. I love hamburgers. I really do!

And I indulge!

However, I make sure I’m indulging for the right reasons and that I really do want what I’m eating and not just eating it because it’s available.

This leads to the whole now versus later debate we all have with ourselves.

“Screw Adam, screw MBT, screw the Daily Feedback! I want to enjoy life now!” you rationalize.

That’s the devil on your shoulder talking to the Body Tutor.

So try this thought on for size:

Why not enjoy life now, even if it means more health problems later?

Go for that cookie! Go for that burger! Go for that ice cream! Do it all the time!

But it seems to me, unless you are already taking heroin you aren’t being true to your own philosophy. Why not enjoy a good high now? Who cares what happens later!?

Most of us, though, have always thought about later on…and not now.

Usually, we wake up and do the things we do, to set ourselves up for a better future.

The one downside of planning ahead is that you may enjoy today a tad less. The upside is that your future might be a bit better! Maybe even a lot better!

Either way, we’re going to suffer (I say this word very loosely) from the pain of discipline or the pain of regret and disappointment.

I’m not saying my approach is right, but I don’t think it’s fair to call the “live for today” approach any kind of philosophy unless you’re also quitting your job, doing heroin, living at McDonald’s and only doing what feels the best every minute of your life.

Junkies have a philosophy. You have rationalizations.

Now there’s always a twist:

It turns out – I actually enjoy today more when I eat and exercise for the future. We all have days when we do nothing but eat and watch TV which are certainly fun. But I always feel even better when I’m eating right and exercising.

It turns out living and planning for the future will also make you happier today.

Has anyone ever said to you, “You’re always thinking!” like it’s a good thing?

Well, I don’t think it is. I can think the bark off a tree! I’m sure you can too.

Thinking is good but what’s really good is the ability to think about only one thing.

At any given moment I’m thinking about 1000 things. Are you only thinking about the words you’re reading right here, right now?

Ever drive somewhere and have no idea how you got there?

This lack of awareness and presence leads to mindless eating. Because we’re not paying attention to what we’re doing.

We’re daydreaming while we’re awake. Scary!

This also will prevent you from fully enjoying your meals because while you’re eating you might be thinking of what’s next. Or something entirely different altogether.

When you’re in the moment like I am now – as I’m writing this (I think it’s just because I enjoy writing so much) – the words fly onto the screen and you’re not thinking about anything else.

This allows us to enjoy life more! (Being in the moment that is.)

Whether it’s with the food we eat, the exercise we partake in or the people we hang out with. When you’re there…like really there, it’s better for everyone involved, no matter what you’re doing.

So, to try to train myself to be more present, I’ve started small.

Brushing my teeth to me is like doing laundry. It takes a little oomph to get started but once you do it feels good and once you’re done it feels incredible. However, while I’m brushing my teeth I’m usually thinking about something else.

And without even realizing it, I start brushing my teeth really hard. Not good for my teeth and gums! My natural tendency is to scrub harder without even thinking about it.

That’s where the exercise comes into play.

So I have to consciously pay attention while I’m brushing to ensure I don’t brush too hard. It’s quite challenging. I really try to stay in the moment and not think about anything but my teeth.

If I don’t, I come back to my teeth and realize I’m brushing too hard.

Meditation is about stilling your mind and controlling your thoughts. It’s about having discipline with where you let your mind wander. I’ve never meditated before but I can imagine it being a very powerful skill. The ability to control your thoughts and stop them immediately and refocus on just your breathing.

That’s really hard!

Start small.

Start with just paying attention to something, anything, for the entire time you’re doing it. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, brushing your teeth, eating, etc.

As soon as you find yourself wandering…quick…get back to what it is you’re doing. And think only about that.

I think, thinking only about what you’re doing in the moment will help you in more ways than one.