Meta-cognition is defined as “cognition about cognition,” or, “knowing about knowing.” What the heck am I talking about you ask?

In other words: it’s thinking about your own thinking.

Some people out there suggest that you should try to control your own thoughts. Trying to control my thoughts seems pretty ridiculous to me though. How can you control your thoughts?

I have no idea. That’s like trying to control the wind. It ain’t happening. Having thoughts is what your mind is for. They just pop up.

But what I do believe we can do is control how we react to our thoughts. Big difference.

Thinking is a beautiful thing. And problems (or suffering) only occur when you get caught up on a particular thought.

Being aware of your own thinking is very valuable.

For example, do you always worry? Do you always assume the worst? Are you overly forgiving of yourself?

There are definite patterns we all have. If you tend to turn hiccups into huge deals and worry (for no reason) realize that’s what you do.

If you obsess over things realize this.

If you’re very forgetful don’t forget that. Ha! (Start writing things down)

The more you can be aware of your own thinking the better off you’ll be.

According to scientists the new crucial skill to making good decisions is the ability to think about your own thinking. Unless you reflect on how you’re making decisions, you won’t be able to use your instincts or gut.

According to psychologist Philip Tetlock the best predictor of good judgment isn’t intuition or experience or intelligence. It’s the willingness to engage in introspection.

Our thinking is extremely faulty. And it’s important you realize this.

Check this:

This game we’re about to play only has one rule. Don’t think about white bears. You can think about anything but white bears. Ready?

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Now banish the animals from your head.

You just lost the game! (It’s okay everyone loses the game.)

That’s what happens. Try to avoid thinking about a white bear and that thing will come to mind every minute. In fact, whenever we try not to think about something, be it ice cream or bears that thing comes to mind. Stuck in our loop of self-consciousness.

Our mind backfires. Our attempts at repressing the thought turn into a fixation.

But being aware of this is the first step – that our mind fixates on things – you can learn to not listen or trust your thoughts. You can realize that your thoughts are just thoughts.

You don’t have to necessarily react to them. You don’t have to believe them. You don’t have to act on them.

Just realizing that’s what our mind does can be hugely helpful.

2 examples:

1. Let’s say a family member doesn’t call you back. You can go into a tail spin of thinking about why they haven’t called you back. You can (and will) create all sorts of stories about what might have happened and the reasons why.

Or – you can just realize that our mind is faulty and creates all sorts of stories and that you shouldn’t believe any of them. In fact, you should just laugh at your thoughts and not pay attention to them because this is what your mind does.

2. You fixate on a certain food. Therefore, you fixate on it even more. Realize your mind is going to torture you. And play tricks on you. Being aware of this helps a lot. “Fine – let me obsess over this piece of food. I know that’s what’s going to happen. But I won’t listen to you mind! Because I know in a little while, I’ll have forgotten all about you!”

Make sense?

Make it a mindful and thoughtful day!

This weekend I was watching some college basketball. March Madness is here!

As I was watching some of the games, I realized we can all learn from basketball players and how they get ready for foul shots.

When basketball players get fouled, they take foul shots. Every basketball player whether they are pro, collegiate, high school, middle school or even elementary level (if they are any good) has a foul shot routine.

Here are some examples: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mttHlV1WjMk&NR=1

Every time a player is at the foul line they do their routine before each shot.

So, what if before we ate, we did a little pre eating routine. Say, for example, a deep breath.

In basketball, usually it’s a deep breath and a combination of a certain number of dribbles and/or spins. Some players touch their face, others point, and some even blow a kiss.

The point is to slow down. To regain some composure and to forget about the last play – to just focus on the task at hand: Making the foul shot (s).

In our case, it should be to focus only on the meal or snack in front of us – not how good or bad the last meal was – and to eat as mindfully as possible.

What if your routine was always making sure you had a glass of water to the right of the plate, a fork and knife and a napkin. Some players also say something to themselves whether it’s a mantra or an affirmation. What if you said a little something to yourself?

The point is to slow down. If you create a routine like this, it’ll help a lot. That’s also why I suggest you only eat while sitting down.

You should be consistent with your routine too. A consistent routine will lead to a consistent performance, which in our case, hopefully leads to slower and more mindful eating.

Next time you eat, pretend you’re at the foul line. What’s your routine going to be?

P.S. I realize some of you may already have a pre eating routine in which you say thanks or give blessings for your food. Even better! Could you do it for every meal?

I hope you had a great weekend! I know my lovely Canadian clients did!

It’s Monday. It’s March 1st. We all have great intentions for the day. For the week. And for the month. Yet, many of us miss appointment after appointment with others, and mostly, ourselves.

Here’s how to prevent that from happening again:

Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz in their book, The Power of Full Engagement, describe a study in which a group of women agreed to do a breast self-exam for a period of 30 days.

100% (yes, 100%!) who said when and where they were going to do it completed the 30 day exam. Only 53% of the others did.

In another study, drug addicts in withdrawal (can you find a more stressed out population? I also think many of us are food addicts so we can relate) agreed to write an essay before 5PM on a certain day.

80% of those who said when and where they’d write the essay completed it! In this case, NONE of the others did.

Bottom line: If you want to get something done, decide when and where you’re going to do it. Otherwise, don’t expect to do it.

Tip: On your Daily Feedback tell me what time you intend on exercising and where. In fact, for any nagging task that makes the outcome list write when and where.

Let’s go! (Right now, wherever you are!)

I think and write a lot about the internal conflict we all have between our short term and irrational self vs our long term and rational self.

Who do you listen to? Who do you want to listen to? Who do you wind up listening to?

Typically, I try to listen to my long-term self because our short term self is slightly irrational as its primary job is to focus on the most rewarding stimuli in the present.

So the question I try to ask myself is, “What benefits my future self?”

For example, out of all the food choices you face each day, each meal even, what benefits your future self the most?

The only downside I can think of is that if you get hit by a bus, no one collects on your future self benefits.

Of course, if you think like that, you might as well be a heroin addict and live for the now. Ridiculous right? Just like thinking you’ll never benefit later on from your wise choices now.

The twist (there’s always a twist) is that when you do what benefits your future self it actually feels better in the short term too. Because usually when we listen to our short term self and go against our long term self, we feel all sorts of negative feelings.

“What benefits my future self?” Try it.

Talk to ya later!