My Body Tutor : No More Excuses

So, I was having an interesting chat last night with a client. We were talking about strategies for when she’s faced with all sorts of tempting treats i.e., a party, event, get together, etc.

She said she didn’t want to feel deprived. (Notice how we only feel deprived in the face of temptation?) And if she did, eventually, she’d overindulge.

The key here is:

over

indulge.

(See what I just did there?)

No one ever gained a lot of weight from one meal.

Or from one treat…

People gain weight, and excessive amounts of weight, from overeating consistently.

I want to be fit and happy. NOT fit and miserable. And I certainly don’t want you to be fit and miserable.

Here’s the challenge: Do you truly believe you can have a cookie or a piece of cake?

Then she said something I loved. She said,  “I’d like to be able to try something if it seems interesting.”

I love that word.

Yes!

If I’m going to a restaurant that is known for xyz then xyz = interesting. If you’re going to your favorite restaurant that = interesting. If someone bakes their “famous” cookies that = interesting.

Uninteresting, even though it seems interesting at times —> bags of candy and chips, packages of cookies, most types of bread, etc. Things that you can get in any corner of the world. Hint: usually, they’re in packages.

Is it really and truly worth it? That’s the question.

And if it seems really interesting then by all means go for it. Yes, enjoy that dessert or enjoy that burger – if it seems truly interesting.

Here’s where I need us to be careful though: There’s a huge difference between indulging and overindulging.

Eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s is overindulging.

That literally can negate an entire week’s worth of effort. Having a scoop or two is a different story but make sure you really want it, and aren’t eating to change the way you feel.

“But I don’t want to feel deprived!” is something I hear a lot.

I hear ya.

The reason why it’s seems like deprivation is because food is the reward in our mind.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying food. But let’s try to not use it as a reward.

The way to be fit and happy is to indulge only when it’s really and truly worth it. The way to be fit and miserable is to never indulge.

For example, not indulging at all during birthdays, dinners with friends, holidays, special occasions, etc., is a perfect way to be fit and miserable.

I would never, ever, recommend that.

Because those things don’t happen that often.

And if they do, you’re in a fortunate position, and it’s time to raise the bar of what’s really and truly worth it.

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By the way, I have a really easy way of determining whether something is really and truly worth it.

And because I’m curious to see who reads all the way down to the bottom of these things, here’s what I’m going to do.

Simply send me an email (adam at mybodytutor dot com) with the subject line “I want to be fit and happy” and I’ll manually send you the easy way to determine if something is really and truly worth it.

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Have you ever read through any of the press we’ve received? I am very proud of all the press we’ve received. However, I’m most proud of WHY we’re getting it. And that’s because of the results we’re getting for our clients.

We think…

“If we can’t be “perfect” why bother?!

Soooo, we let one indulgence turn into a whole week of indulgences.

Let’s talk about the reason why us ‘dieters’ are notorious perfectionists.

If we understand WHY we are perfectionists, it’ll be much easier to stop the behavior.

The obvious answer:  because we don’t like to fail. So by creating unreasonable expectations it gives us an easy way out (aka a perfect rationalization) to stop taking action and quit the program before we can “fail”.

But here’s why most dieters REALLY do this:  because change is uncomfortable. That’s also why most people never do actually change.

And by creating unreasonable expectations it gives us an easy way to remove that INEVITABLE discomfort we’re going to face. (This is why I’m such a BIG believer in accountability, support and having a system to monitor and track our progress. Because it makes the discomfort a lot more tolerable – or dare I say, comfortable.)

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I have to admit it.

My name is Adam Gilbert, and I am a recovering perfectionist.

And being a perfectionist is not a good thing.

I still have tendencies but I’m getting better…I’m progressing.

Having the attitude of, “I ate really well all day but for dinner I just had something that’s not MBT approved so now I’ll eat unhealthy for the rest of the night” isn’t good.

If we play the all or nothing game, we always end up with nothing. Every single time. It’s why I don’t like making absolute statements such as, “I’ll never do xyz again!”

Instead, focus on doing xyz LESS.

There is no such thing as perfection…

There is only progress!

And that’s what life is about. Moving forward, growing, and evolving.

In fact, being a perfectionist is a childlike way of living.

We are not children. We are adults in control. We are more powerful than we think. (I know – I sound like a corny motivational speaker but it’s the truth!)

Being a perfectionist and having the “If I can’t be perfect, why bother” attitude suggests that the only position worth having in life is being the winner.

No one likes playing games with a sore loser.

So, if we can’t be the winner, we shouldn’t bother playing the game?

That is a childlike way of thinking. It means that any small improvements in our weight, shape, mobility, and breathing are unimportant.

It means that any changes in the way we think, react, and act around food don’t count.

It means that any changes in the way we think about exercise don’t matter.

No one created the company of their dreams overnight. And no one created the body of their dreams overnight.

Day by day. Meal by meal. Workout by workout. Improvement by improvement. Choice by choice. Daily Feedback by Daily Feedback.

Progress. NOT perfection.

I repeat…

Progress. NOT perfektchin!

Ya know, I talk and write a lot about our short term/irrational mind versus our long term/rational mind.

Short term/irrational mind VS long term/rational mind

I believe our long term/rational mind is where our true dreams and desires are. Our short term/irrational mind doesn’t care about the future. It wants pleasure…and it wants it RIGHT NOW!

Our short term mind is constantly sabotaging us in the form of thoughts like, “You deserve this cookie, go for it. You only live once!” “Why bother going to the gym?” “Don’t you want to be happy now?!?”

Or maybe your friends are the ones saying those things!

Here’s the thing we all wrestle with: Balancing living for tomorrow with living for today.

5 YEARS AND COUNTING BABY…

The reason why I’ve been able to stick with MBT since February of 2007 is because I truly believe in what we’re doing, and I know what we offer works. I believe in what I do 1000% and my belief only gets stronger each and every day.

Persistence isn’t about doing the same things over and over. It’s about wanting the same thing over and over. (I believe our short term/irrational mind is constantly trying to chip away at what WE (our long term/rational mind) really want.)

And something I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember – and something I’ll always want – is to live the happiest life I can, and to help others do the same.

One fact remains constant and it’s what drives me:  When I eat healthfully and exercise, I feel better. In other words, happier, than when I don’t.

BELIEVE ME! I love cookies. I love ice cream. I love hamburgers. I really do. It’s a constant battle. And I indulge. But, I try to only indulge for the right reasons.

Even when I do give myself permission, I still don’t feel as good as when I eat healthfully.

Which brings me to the question we always ask ourselves, “Why am I not enjoying NOW?”

“We’re all gonna die anyway!” people say.

Which circles us back to the…

NOW versus later debate.

“Screw Adam, screw MBT, screw the Daily Feedback! I want to enjoy life NOW!”

That’s the devil on your shoulder talking to the Body Tutor. That’s our irrational, short term mind yelling at our rational, long term mind.

So try this thought on for size:

Why not enjoy life now, even if it means more health problems later?

Really.

Go for that cookie! Go for that burger! Go for that ice cream!

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US AND A DRUG ADDICT…

BUT! It seems to me, unless you are already doing heroin then you aren’t being true to your own philosophy. Why not enjoy a good high now? Who cares what happens later!?

Interestingly, all of us have always thought about later on, and not now.

Think about the first 20 or so years of your life. Everything we did in school was to set ourselves up for a better future.

The one downside of planning ahead is that we may enjoy today a tad less. The upside is that our future might be a bit better! Maybe, A LOT better!

I’m not saying my thinking here is the best, but I think you get my point.

I don’t think it’s fair to call the “live for today” approach any kind of philosophy unless you’re also quitting your job, doing heroin, living at McDonald’s and only doing what feels the best every minute of your life.

Junkies have a philosophy. We have rationalizations.

Now there’s always a twist:

1. It turns out, we actually enjoy today MORE when we eat and exercise for the future. We’ve all had days when do nothing but eat and watch TV – at least I have. Yet, I always feel better when I’m eating right and exercising. Always! I know you do too.

2. I’ve never done drugs. Had/have no desire. I’m not saying you should. It was just to make a point. Actually, as a public service announcement I’ll write it: don’t do drugs!

3. It turns out that when we live and plan for the future it’ll also make us happier TODAY!

Why not make it a happier week?

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I’ve thought and written a lot about the subject of happiness because I think that’s our end goal. You can read all of my posts on happiness on my other blog here.

Are YOU ready to take your happiness to the next level? Why not let MBT help you get into the best shape of your life. Now THAT is happiness. Interested? Check out the site: http://www.mybodytutor.com/pages/ I’d love to help you!

Want to know what Google, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn employees all have in common?

There is FREE FREAKIN’ FOOD EVERYWHERE in their offices.

And they need our help. How do I know? Some of them are MBT clients.

These companies are known for spoiling their employees with all sorts of food, all day long. ANY food you can search for, they have!

I know how hard it is when there is Free Freakin’ Food Everywhere – here in after referred to as “FFFE”.

Want to know the hardest word in the world to resist?

Wait for it…FREE!

We love free. We can’t get enough of it. Give someone a free piece of junk, and they’ll take it. Actually, they’ll wait in line for it!

Give someone free food, and not only will they wait in line for it but they’ll get their friends, and they’ll all wait in line TOGETHER!

First, let’s explore why we have such a hard time resisting free food (which is usually sugary/salty/fatty food).

We’re hard-wired to like sweets. Give a baby something sweet, and they’ll like it more than something unsweetened.

Now give anyone a combo of sugar, salt and fat and that becomes irresistible. And I mean that in every sense of the word.

Our brain loses its ability to regulate itself when we eat a combo of sugar, salt and fat. As humans we’re programmed to focus on the most ‘rewarding’ stimuli – because back in the day – - we actually had to worry about surviving.

BUT the combo of sugar, salt and fat (pick anyone of your favorite unhealthy tasting foods and snacks) has a pull on us. It overrides our brain’s natural ability to regulate itself.

There in lies the true problem.

Give me a bowl of broccoli and I’ll feel satiated.

Give me a bowl of cookies and I can keep eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them and eating them (you think I’m kidding?) – no matter how much I already ate!

We lose our ability to feel full when we eat irresistible foods.

If you put a plate of cookies in front of me, it’s going to be very hard for me to focus on anything else.

Why?

Well our dopamine (chemicals that make us feel good) levels are rising in anticipation of the reward. We can’t stop thinking about it…or can we?

Our brain works like that, unfortunately.

Now, without having to pay for it – which is an act that makes us STOP and think, “Wait, do I really want this?” we lose that precious time to pause.

There is nothing in our way. The floodgates are open!

So, besides me telling you the obvious to avoid situations where there is free food, we CAN fight back, and have a game plan.

In fact, having a game plan is the most important strategy.

Many times, we’re either going to a party, or a work event or some sort of planned function – that we can prepare for. The key is to mentally prepare for it.

1. For example, if we’re going to our friends house who makes the best xyz – let’s decide before we go how many we will have – if we decide it’s really worth it. Mentally rehearsing what we’re going to do before we go is a great strategy. Because when we mentally rehearse, we’re thinking with our long term, rational mind.

When we’re tempted we’re thinking with our short term, irrational mind. In fact, that IS my definition of a temptation — anything that makes us think irrationally.

Whether it’s picturing the ball going in the hoop before we shoot a basketball, or envisioning what we’ll order and eat, it helps a lot.

But what happens if out of nowhere there’s just FFFE?!?!

In this case, do not teeter. Do not waver. If someone put a plate of xyz in front of us right now choose immediately.

“No! I don’t want this. It’s not going to make me feel good. It won’t make me look better or feel better.”

“If I eat this now, I won’t feel good about myself later and tomorrow!”

But the second we start to entertain the idea, “Hmmm…well maybe if I have just 1….”, we’re going to lose. Never negotiate with yourself.

It can’t be a negotiation. It has to be a quick decision.

“Nope! Not for me!” “It’s not a part of my plan!” Next thought…

If we’re watching TV and a commercial comes on that’s really disturbing – what would we do?

Quick! Change the channel!

We can do the same. Think about something else. Talk about something else. Snap a rubber band on your wrist.

Remember: change that channel.

But here’s my favorite question I ask myself (yes, I ask myself lots of questions because questions are the best way to see things in a different light, and that’s the whole point) when there’s FFFE, “If this weren’t free, would I pay for it?”

And 99 times out of 100, I wouldn’t. And by asking myself that question, I’m able to pause looooong enough to quiet my short term, irrational mind.

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Like this post? You’ll love your program!