How to beat cravings long term

Many of us have addictions to certain types of food. For example, every night after dinner this one client 'has to have' her mint chocolate ice cream. Another client is 'addicted' to his chips with lunch.

I wanted to share this email exchange I had with one of my diamond clients. She happens to be addicted to chocolate.

She writes:

"I am wondering about the best way to handle cravings long term. For instance, when I was craving the chocolate, I wasn't hungry, I just wanted chocolate. I know that it would be better to eat some fruit rather than the chocolate, but wouldn't it be best to not eat at all, since I'm trying to eat only when I'm hungry?"

I wrote the following:

First off, let's focus on today and this week. When we slowly and gradually change our behaviors the long term will take care of itself.

When it comes to cravings and temptations, remember, we're thinking irrationally. Any food that makes us think irrationally is what I call a temptation. So even if we're stuffed, we'll still be able to find room for it. It's not about whether we're physically hungry or not.

The key to getting over this addiction is baby steps. Asking you to essentially quit a behavior is much harder than asking you to change it.

For example, usually, we have a craving and then we eat whatever it is we're craving.

What you're suggesting is going from having a craving to doing nothing at all. That's very hard because you're a) not eating anything and b) not eating the chocolate.

A much easier way to fight cravings is to eat something (like fruit) - but not exactly what you (think) you want. Then, once the emotional attachment is removed, it'll be much easier to quit eating when we have cravings altogether. Does this make sense?

[Note: this is purely tactical. There's underlying reasons why we want the chocolate as well.]

She replies with:

"Yes, this makes very good sense."

She then sent me something to read. She writes, "It sounds so much like what you say, except approached from a Buddhist point of view. She then writes, "Perhaps you were a Buddhist monk in your past life. :)"

Perhaps.

I wrote back, "It's very good. I think, though, at the end of the day we just gotta 'jump in that pool'.

Meaning we can read and read about this but if we're not practicing the discomfort, nothing will change."

It's essential to realize this: Real - long-lasting - change is uncomfortable.

I was watching an infomercial the other night and I started laughing out loud when one of the actors said, "It was so easy I didn't feel like I was exercising!!!" after using this crazy contraption.

Ugh! What?

There's no way to get around the discomfort. Sure, we can make it less uncomfortable by taking baby steps and having a game plan we feel comfortable with. But at the end of the day, we have to embrace some sort of discomfort - or else, we're not changing.

If it was so easy to change our behaviors for the long term, we'd all do it. It's hard.

It takes courage (to start), patience, persistence (which means wanting the same thing over and over) and a lot of support and accountability.

She responded to my 'jump in the pool comment' with this:

"Yes, you are absolutely right. If I could be thin and fit by reading and studying, I would be one of the thinnest and fittest people around."

-Adam