Why would a client who lost weight after 1 week want to quit?

There's a story about a guy who attends a weight loss seminar, and complains to the keynote speaker that, despite trying everything, he can't lose weight.

"You've tried everything?" asks the speaker.

"Everything," the guy replies.

"What were the last hundred things you tried?" asks the speaker.

"Well," the guy admits, "I haven't actually tried a hundred things."

"Then what were the last twenty-five things you did?" asks the speaker.

"I haven't tried twenty-five things, really, either," the guy responds.

"So how many things have you actually tried?" asks the speaker.

"Well," says the guy, sheepishly, "maybe five or six."

When "Seven" (we'll use that as the fake name) first signed up, he told me he had tried everything and nothing worked. Naturally that excited me. It's always fun to see if MBT is as effective as I think/know it is.

What happened?

After a week of working with him he wanted to quit! And remember before Seven started - he had told me that no matter what he's done in the past, he couldn't lose weight.

I was astonished.

You know why?

In our first week together, we lost 3 pounds!

This is truly fascinating to me...

But this is all part of human behavior. This is what keeps me so interested in this game.

I love exploring the psychological reasons behind our actions. After all, it's all psychological.

Let's talk about cognitive dissonance. This happens when we have two conflicting desires. For example, smoking. It is well known that smoking cigarettes can cause lung cancer yet every person I've ever met wants to live a long, healthy and fit life.

The uncomfortable tension caused by these two opposing ideas is known as dissonance. As humans, we look to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling. This is known as dissonance reduction.

The only way to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling is by a) quitting smoking b) denying that people actually get sick from smoking or c) justifying and rationalizing.

For example, a smoker could rationalize their behavior by believing that few people get sick from smoking, it only happens to people who smoke more than they do, if smoking doesn't kill them something else will, they'll quit next year or they only live once and they deserve to smoke.

In essence, they either need to take action (quit smoking and get whatever help they need this is very hard!) or they need to make themselves feel better by rationalizing their smoking - which is what most people do (

Knowing this, let's talk about why Seven who has "tried everything" to lose weight, and finally did with MBT, wants to quit the program.

I'll tell you why:

F.E.A.R.

It comes down to either fear of change, fear of failure or fear of success.

Everything he says boils down to fear.

There's an old saying that I love:

"The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed."

In this case because Seven actually succeeded, he realized he was going to have to change for the long term. And unfortunately, real change is uncomfortable.

He got scared.

Because deep down, Seven wasn't ready to really change. He didn't think MBT would actually work. So he wasn't prepared to let go of emotional eating.

In his mind, he needs to emotionally eat and he can't imagine life without doing so.

His success made him fear the change.

So now, Seven's coming up with all sorts of excuses because he really doesn't want to change. His main excuse is that it takes too much effort to submit a feedback every night. Interesting.

Because he wants to change - but sorta doesn't want to change - that's causing a lot of dissonance or tension or discomfort (whatever you want to call it).

He has to get rid of that discomfort somehow...so he'll find anything and latch on to it so he can ease the tension.

(Ahhh yes...submitting a feedback is a pain in the butt and it takes effort. Yes!!! Whew. Now I can rationalize my excuse - and not feel as bad and quit the program so I don't have to change...because I'm really scared to change.)

The real problem ISN'T that it takes effort to submit a feedback. We make time for what's important to us.

The real problem is that he doesn't want to actually change. He rather just talk about changing. (We'll work on this.)

Next time, we'll talk about change.

Instead of criticizing or shaming him like so many people out there would do (because it's the obvious and easy thing to do), it's far more effective to help him understand his own behavior. (Shaming or criticizing never leads to long lasting change.)

Fighting human nature is silly.

Instead, when we understand what's going on around us, it makes it a lot easier to call it what it is and move on.

-Adam

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If you haven't been able to get the body you want something is holding you back. And it's probably not what you think it is. We're incredibly talented at sabotaging ourselves. That's why daily support, accountability and motivation is so important. MBT will help you understand your own psychology so you can finally end the sabotage and get the results you want - or, your money back.

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