The number one reason why we eat when we don't want to

I'm really F I R E D up about this post. Because I know if you read it carefully, it can change the way you think, and ultimately, approach many things in your life.

Total reading time: 45 minutes. Kidding. About 5 minutes. (Please don't read this until you have some uninterrupted free time.)

Ya know, one of my favorite things to hear from readers is something along the lines of, "What you write applies to so many areas of my life and I've used what you teach to improve many aspects of it." Boom!

Let's get to it...

First thing for us to remember: 80% of our success in anything is our psychology. 20% is the tactics. This is exactly why I don't spend your precious time telling you to eat these "10 magical foods" etc., etc. For the most part, we all know what to eat.

And you already spoke to me or your tutor about what to eat. Writing lists of foods to eat isn't all that interesting OR useful. (Besides, as you know, we comment on your food in your feedbacks.)

What I'm more interested in -- actually, what I'm obsessed with - is what makes us stick to something. And with that, why we don't stick to something. (As we know, it's consistent action that leads to results.)

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So first off, let's answer the question of the email...

The number one reason why we eat when we don't want to...is because we're after relief from tension or discomfort.

Now this tension / discomfort can be from a number of things...

Anything from our annoying boss to our crying kids to the overwhelming amount of stuff we need and want to get done.

Whatever it is though, next time you're in the "mood" to eat something junky, and aren't physically hungry, focus on how you're feeling. 9 times out of 10, it's to remove some sort of tension or discomfort we're feeling.

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Unless you're not human, I think it's safe to bet there will ALWAYS be some sort of tension / discomfort we face. However, how we REACT to that is our choice. More on this in my next email.

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Next...

Real honest to goodness change is uncomfortable.   <----This is the brutal reality. (Although, I do sincerely believe support, accountability and a system to monitor and track our progress makes it way more comfortable and tolerable. Yes, I know I'm biased but I've seen it change 100's and 100's of people.)

Check it:

A plate of cookies appears in front of us. The easier thing to do, the more comfortable thing to do would be to grab a cookie. That's what we'd (our short term/irrational mind) usually do. However, the more uncomfortable thing to do, the harder thing to do, would be to skip it.

If we’re doing the same things we used to do, we’re not changing and therefore we won’t feel any discomfort. In other words, discomfort IS our compass. Discomfort means we’re doing things DIFFERENTLY, and therefore getting closer to where we want to be.

Make sense, right?

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THE #1 THING I HEAR FROM PROSPECTIVE CLIENTS...

"I can do this on my own."

That is absolutely delusional. You know why?

If they could have, they would have already.

The SINGLE best predictor of your future is your past behavior. People hate hearing this because it pokes a hole in the balloon of delusion that most of us use.

We say things like, "On Monday, I'm going to start exercising 3 times a week," or, "I'm going to start eating healthfully..." but we've done this before, and our past evidence suggests that we never follow through.

People don't like to hear this, but the past is actually the best predictor of the future.

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By far, the most successful people I know can admit where they need help...and seek it out. [Is your ego getting in your way?]

It reminds me of the people who say they could have invented Facebook or Instagram or a million other things. The thing is...THEY DIDN'T!

If consistency were so easy, we'd all do it.

I'm not trying to be a downer...

After all, the secret to "success" (in whatever we pursue) isn't a secret! It's the consistency part. It's the doing the right things over and over and over again that's so damn hard.

And when a prospective client tells me he is going to do it on his own (and it doesn't matter how big or small he is) when he's been battling his weight for years, it breaks my heart because I know what's going to happen.

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READING BETWEEN THE LINES...WHAT HE IS REALLY SAYING:

"I can do it on my own" really means is that "I'm not really ready to change right now. And this accountability stuff could actually work. It'd put too much pressure on me because I'm accountable for my actions."

Um, bingo...precisely! :)

How do I know? In the 5+ years I've been doing this full time, I've been through this with prospective clients dozens of times. And they always tell me I read their minds once they eventually join.

More importantly, I get through to them (eventually) so they can understand their patterns of behavior. If people don't understand their patterns and behavior they will never, ever, be able to change.

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Because some prospective clients realize this is for the long-term they get tense. They know the work we're doing is going to help them change their habits and behavior.  So they begin to fear the change.

And because they want to change - but sorta don't want to change - that causes a lot of dissonance or tension or discomfort (whatever you want to call it).

So how do they remove it?

"I'm going to try it on my own."

Boom. It removes the tension / discomfort and allows them to rationalize not doing a program they fear will work.

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Few things for you to remember:

1. A lot of the behavior we want to change is in response to tension or discomfort. Pay close attention to how you act when you're feeling the discomfort.

2. How many people or opportunities have we missed out on, and rationalized away because we didn't want to feel any discomfort?

3. This sounds like major lip service but it's not. I am EXTREMELY proud of you for giving MBT a shot. It's so much easier to hope and wish than it is to actually change. Here is why...

4. One of the most fascinating things I've learned in the the past 5+ years:  The people who aren't serious ask the most questions!

A few prospective clients email me every month or so. And every time they email me they ask me another question or three about my program. And that’s totally fine! I am truly here to help.

But you know what? These people have been asking me questions for months now! Some more than others, of course. But without fail, every month or so I get the same people asking me questions.

You know why? Because asking questions FEELS good. It feels like they’re taking action when in reality they’re not. They’re not doing anything at all, which of course, is the easiest thing to do.

These prospective clients are in exactly the same spot they were in when they first emailed me.

Most prospective clients focus on the possibilities (as opposed to fear).

So they sign up, wind up improving many aspects of their life, get major results and live happier ever after. All the while, these prospective clients are in exactly the same spot they were in asking question after question, "doing it on their own." And eventually when they do join, without fail, they always say something along the lines of, "I wish I didn't wait to join!"

5. I understand you're already a client! But what I'm trying to teach you is the psychology of what some people do when they're facing discomfort / tension. Of course we're not those people! :) However, I've had clients who were succeeding when nothing else worked for them that wanted to quit. You know why? Because they realized they weren't going to go back to their old ways and they got scared. So they come up with excuses like, "I'm too busy" to rationalize the fact that they're quitting a program that is working for them.

Remember: the temptation to quit is always greatest right before the breakthroughs happen.

Moments of growth are often disguised as discomfort. That is why they're called growing pains.

-Adam

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[These are the kinds of posts I send my clients. I know you're not a client. However,  if you'd like to be one or learn more about our program, you can by clicking here.]