How to let things not bother you as much
Ha! I have to laugh at the subject line because it reminds me of those TV commercials — “Do you wish you had more time in the day? Do you think about the future? Do you think about the past? Do you worry sometimes? Do you breathe?”
Suddenly, I’m all like “Oh my…I think I have that!”
It’s like Medical Students’ Disease — a condition frequently reported in medical students, who perceive themselves or others to be experiencing the diseases(s) they are studying.
Anyway, I digress….
Let’s talk about reality today. No, not reality TV! (Although, I could talk about that too.)
I’m talking about reality, like, LIFE.
Reality is always worth talking about.
When our life feels like it’s all out of whack, our diet and exercise tends to mimic that. When we’re stressed or upset or anxious, we tend to forget about everything else – especially eating well and exercising.
Whenever we’re unhappy about something that’s out of our control, we are fighting reality. Whether it’s traffic, people in our life, weather, and a million other things. Anything that we can’t control is what I call reality.
Why does this matter?
The less we fight reality, and love what is, the less we’ll suffer and the happier we’ll be…
…and the happier we are, the less emotional eating we’ll do, and the less our health and fitness will suffer.
Why bother loving reality or what is? Besides what I just wrote above, here’s why: No amount of wishing or hoping will change it. No matter how much we hope or wish, we can’t change things we can’t control.
But WHY we insist?
“Why is this happening? Why did it happen? Why is it like this? Why did he/she do that? Why me? Why is the bus late!?! Why is there so much traffic!?!? Why is he like that?! Why is my kid misbehaving?! Why is she so unappreciative!? Why is he such a jerk!? Why is my boss a jerk?! What are my customers/clients so rude? Why????????????????????”
Cats meow and dogs bark! And whatever happened happened. No amount of fighting or hoping can or will change it.
The sooner we become a lover of reality, of accepting what is, the happier we’ll be and the less we’ll suffer.
Fighting reality is like hoping a cat will bark and a dog will meow.
Don’t think for a second I don’t freak out every now and then. Everything I write is aspirational. However, I do believe we can try to make the best of our lives. I do believe we can *try* to not dwell on things we can’t control.
For me, saying, “Cats meow, dogs bark and whatever happened happened,” helps puts things into perspective. It reminds that it is what it is. Besides, when is it not what it is?
It reminds me to stop crying over spilled milk.
A cat will always meow. A dog will always bark. And reality…will always be reality.
I find that focusing on things we CAN control, and actually taking control, is far more empowering.
Here’s an exercise that has helped many MBT-ers:
Step 1) Get out a sheet of paper or open up a new word document.
Step 2) Make a list of everything on your mind that is bothering you. Everything!
Step 3) Make another list of everything on that first list (step 2) that you can actually control.
Step 4) Only focus on that second list.
Here’s the tricky part: Sometimes, it’s easier to only focus on what we can’t control. Why? It’s easier to remain stuck than take action.
It’s easier to play the blame game.
Remember: Blame = Be Lame.
Blaming will make you feel lame. It’ll make you feel powerless. It’ll make you feel out of control.
Want a mantra next time you’re fighting reality? Use mine!
“If I can’t change what is, I might as well love what is. Otherwise, I’m going to suffer.”
What are some things you fight that are beyond your control?
What are you going to do next time you find yourself fighting it?
Why do I write about topics like this? Because it drives me crazy when “experts” believe better health is only about eating these “10 magic foods” or doing these “miracle exercises”. Fortunately, I don’t live in a bubble like they apparently do. Life happens! Life gets tricky. Life gets hard.
Everything impacts everything.
One of the key things I’ve realized: Being healthy and fit makes it easier to be happy. And being happy makes it easier to be healthy and fit.
I hope this post helps you protect / increase your happiness! 🙂