Is not sticking to your goals making you unhappy? Read this.

Few questions to think about...

1. Do you think underperforming students who are paired with students who excel in school (even though at times, they might feel inferior compared to the better student) do better or worse than those underperforming students who aren't paired with anyone?

Wow that was a long sentence. Here's another one for you...

2. Do you think small business owners (who want to own a large business) who are paired with successful large business owners (even though at times, they might feel inferior compared to the big business owner) do better or worse than those small business owners who only hang around other small business owners?

In Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project - she set all sorts of resolutions for herself in order to try to make herself happier. (Spoiler alert: it worked!)

However, towards the end of her one year project she noticed that in some ways, she made herself less happy. How so? Well, because she was trying to improve, she was more aware of her faults and so she felt more disappointed when she slipped up.

In her book, she writes, "Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy, and a heightened awareness of my failings, though salutary, wasn't bringing me happiness in the short term - but in the long term, I was sure, I'd be happier as a consequence of behaving better."

She was comforted by the words of Benjamin Franklin:

"On the whole, though I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet as I was, by the endeavor, a better and happier man than I otherwise should have been had I not attempted it."

I've said many times ignorance is bliss. Because once we're aware of something, it's hard to ignore it.

Sure, it'd be "easier" to eat whatever we want all day.

Especially, if we don't know any better.

But we all do know better. Obviously!

And when there's a knowing and/or a desire without action, unhappiness ensues.

When we're trying to improve something, we become aware of everything in that aspect. We notice what we focus on.

However, that can lead to feeling unhappy or inferior. "Ugh, why bother?" we think. Or, when we do make the inevitable poor choices (we're not robots!) we feel extra bad about it because we're so aware of it.

But that doesn't mean trying isn't worthwhile. I'm convinced (along with many, many others) trying will lead to far greater happiness than just accepting where we're at with our health and fitness.

So next time we feel bad, and next time we point something out to you (try eating this or that, etc.) realize it's only said with love.

There's no such thing as perfection anyway. Only progress, and that feels awesome.

More awesome than just hoping and wishing.

-Adam

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