I am a young gay man who has been performing his entire life. Needless to say, I have always known my way around a gym and been concerned with how I look. One day I met up with a fellow actor friend of mine, that I’d grown up with, for a coffee date. The person who showed up and sat across from me was not the same girl I saw just a few months ago. The first word that came to mind when I looked at her was svelte.
She glowed and her energy was as infectious as ever. This is a person who was already well proportioned and had always looked great to me for as long as I can remember. But she explained to me that she felt herself getting older and that her “dancer’s body”, that we had both known at age 18, was at war with her late night emotional eating, among other things; stress and life and all that comes with just getting older. She told me she started something called “My Body Tutor” and everything started to change.
“Excuse me!? A body tutor, what does that even mean? Like therapy, for your body?”
Well, I suppose that is actually a fair way to describe this process. She told me that I should do MBT as well. Of course, I resisted at first, I made some reasonably valid excuses. But they were just that; excuses. I wasn’t ready, or so I claimed, to see exactly what and why I ate what I ate every single day. Not to mention, somebody was going to see it and judge it!?! That isn’t for me. Sounds great for fat people, but… blah blah blah.
“Okay, fine.” I said.
“I’ll do it. Sign me up!”
I’ve always been game for a good challenge and I had recently quit drinking which inspired me to take my daily life habits to the next level. No more excuses. You could say I joined MBT because I saw the proof of the program’s legitimacy sitting across from me at coffee, which is true, but more importantly I knew I was ready to take responsibility for living up to my full potential in all aspects of my life. Well, at least as ready as I was ever going to be.
“Now or never.” That’s what they say, right?
You hear that phrase all the time, but if you really take those words in you understand how true they are and how false are the stories that you’ve told yourself that keep you waiting, hiding, or simply not doing. MBT isn’t just about eating, it is about how we think and see ourselves and our relationships with others. I knew that taking my friend’s advice and starting MBT, with equal feelings of both excitement and terror, was the only way I was going to become the best version of myself.
It turns out I was wrong. Being a client was pivotal in that of course, but after a summer of personal training, olympic lifting, and swimsuit photo shoots, I wanted to up the ante and become a Body Tutor myself. I know from being an MBT client how important it is to feel like someone is there through every step of your unique journey in order to stay strong and on track with your specific goals. It helps me maintain my personal best to witness other people achieve that thing they never dreamed was even in the cards for them. That feeds me.
I still remember my first conversation with Adam.
“So, what do you really want? What would be the main goal for you, if not weight loss?”
“A six pack.” I said without hesitation.
“I wanna see my abs. Even at my skinniest I’ve never really had that. I don’t know if that is even possible with my genes, but now that I’m not drinking, I’m willing to really try and find out.”
I honestly hung up the phone knowing with all of my being that this was not going to happen. It was simply a pipe dream, something to work towards. Well.. after about a month or so, it happened, and then some. I wasn’t the first to notice, but when six became eight and I never found my shirt for the entire summer, I knew the compliments I had been getting might just be true.
Adam gathered, from what I had first expressed to him, that I had always looked pretty good and stayed reasonably fit, but that I wanted to look like a specimen (his word, that I’ve now adopted).
MBT gave me the tools to achieve that specimen status that I never believed to be possible. It also opened other related doors and unearthed new found passions in the fitness and nutrition world. I know that anyone can do what I did, and that is so inspiring to me. It sounds cheesy, but when you achieve something you genuinely believe was impossible, that childlike mentality comes back; you whole heartedly remember that anything is possible and you are capable of anything and everything that you desire.
I grew up in a household pretty much run by woman; my mom and my sister, in the Bay Area of California. Needless to say, awareness of body image and the studying of labels on the food put into the body was always my normal. It was simply a lifestyle that was born into me. There was always fat free milk and “I can’t believe it’s not butter” in the fridge. And there were magnets proudly displaying pounds lost from weight watchers on the outside of the fridge.
This was the nineties and I can safely tell you right now (for free!) that fat is the least of anyone’s issues in terms of weight loss or muscle gain. More about that later. People always ask me what I do or what they should do or eat. We are all different. It is accountability and commitment and having a person who is there and that you can trust to confide in and express why you make the choices you make through out your hectic day. That is truly invaluable.
When money comes up with potential clients it is hard not to laugh, because this a kind of life change that is so beyond dollars and cents. If you are not ready, you are not ready, and money is an easy excuse to fall back on, but I’d really think about where that money is going and why it’s more important than your complete well being. It took a little time, and I still have to work on this kind of thinking, but if I look at my budget I really try to see how much of it is going towards rebuilding the body, mind, and spirit. That has to be a priority. Above all we want to be happy, so what is working against that happiness?
“What is directly working against my happiness and is possible to eliminate from my budget?” I’d ask myself.
This process takes brutal honesty, but the rewards are unmeasurable. MBT is a lifestyle 180 that CAN be bought, and that is unlike anything else I have ever experienced in the health and fitness world. There is not a single person incapable of reaching all of their goals and then some. I wouldn’t settle for anything less. Feeling good about yourself fully is everything, and together we can make that happen.
Here is my bottom line.
You are in control of your body and the total wellness of it, along with your mind and your spirit. Call a me a dirty west coast hippie, but I come from the school of thought that this is all one thing. All three must be closely listened to at all times. This can be very difficult because there is a lot of noise around us at all times, a lot of which we create ourselves and is deep inside, but if we can start to hush the negativity and self doubt, and really learn to hear what our body is telling us, it will do what it already knows how to do. It already knows how to be it’s best.
I just want to help you to get out of the way, get out of your own way. You don’t need a diet, you need to be in control of your life and the choices you make every day. MBT sheds light on every small choice and makes you accountable for the bigger picture. In my opinion it is the only way to look and feel your best. And trust me, I have tried everything… really, everything.