How a couple's counselor has a flawless track record
In this journey of life, there aren’t many cut and dry markers like start and finish lines. However, there are a ton of marathons we choose to enter (whether we realize it or not).
For the sake of consistency, let’s define a marathon in life as a process.
The reason why getting the body we want is so hard is because: It’s a process. Not an event.
Dating is a process. Establishing trust is a process. And getting the body we want is a process.
Events, on the other hand, are easier to manage and get excited about because it’s a one time occurrence.
Processes, though, build results for the long haul.
Hopefully, whatever marathons we choose to pursue are worthwhile ones. And when we focus on the benefits, it’s easier to get through the inevitable discomfort we’ll face. (In my experience, although I’m admittedly biased, having daily support and accountability makes all the difference.)
But here’s the critical mistake so many people make: If you’re going to decide to start a marathon, decide up front that you will not quit when the going gets tough.
No matter what it takes, fight like heck to back that commitment up.
The one question that allowed a famous couple’s counselor to have a flawless track record
The one question that set her apart and made her very successful was this:
At the very beginning, before the first session, she’d ask her clients: “Are you considering divorce?”
If the answer was yes, she refused to take them on.
Why? Because there really aren’t degrees of commitment. As soon as we consider giving up on anything, we are looking for reasons to support that decision.
If we, instead, commit to a project, or mission, or marriage, then we look for reasons to stick with it.
And when it comes to our health and fitness the reasons to stick with it are literally endlesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
P.S. As a product of divorced parents, I am in no way, shape or form advocating that parents should stick to their marriage, if it’s not working. I think the best thing parents can do for their children is be really happy themselves (whether it’s together or not).
P.P.S. I’ll never forget this! A few years ago, a client told me about a diet she had tried. This is truly still unbelievable to me, and it still makes my blood boil…
Get this. Before she started the diet, she had to sign a contract committing to never indulging again. What?!?!
If being healthy and fit was as easy as signing a contract then everyone would be in amazing shape! That’s like saying “Just eat healthy and exercise!” Ohhhhhhh….that’s what we’re supposed to do? Compliance is the hard part. (Of course, we all know this.)
This isn’t about committing to never indulging again, obviously. That’s not sustainable. It’s about committing to being vulnerable (aka asking for help) when we feel that our commitment is wavering – as opposed to just saying, “Forget this. This is just too hard!” and finding reasons to support that decision.
Imagine what having daily support, daily accountability and daily feedback would do for you.