Embracing these four words will lead to success
You hear that?!?!
Listen carefully.
I'll wait.
Know what it is?
It's the sound of exhales throughout the world from moms and dads whose kids are finally back at school.
Of course we love our kids! Of course they're adorable. Of course we'll miss them. But, sometimes, the saying is true: time apart makes the heart grow fonder.
The end of June is fun, July is a blast but come the last few weeks of August, the kids start getting a leeetle restless. In turn, moms and dads suffer.
So without further ado: Welcome back mom and dad. Welcome back! :)
****
Don't have kids? You'll still learn a lot from this post.
****
September is the new January for so many of us...
I remember as a kid all the resolutions I'd make every September for the school year.
My recurring resolution:
"Okay, this year I'm going to study every night for 30 minutes. This way, I don't have to cram the day before the test."
Ha! That would last like 3 days.
I think so many of us are programmed to make resolutions for September because of the school year.
WE'VE ALL HEARD IT...
A majority of us who make resolutions don't keep them (some statistics say as much as 86% of people don't keep them).
Why are resolutions so hard to keep?
Well, resolutions are all about change.
So the question really is: Why is change so damn hard?
I think we can all agree it is.
Otherwise, every person would be the ideal version of themselves, if not all the time, most of the time. Every person (well at least the self-aware among us) would be more patient, compliant, and reliable along with many other qualities we seek to improve in ourselves.
But there's more to it than that.
When we want to change something, we're uncovering a desire.
Let's use....hmmm, I got one....eating better and exercising as an example. What's the reason for wanting to eat better and exercise?
Because we want to feel (and look) as good as we can, and enjoy all the amazing benefits that brings.
So a part of us wants to do the necessary things in order to feel that way -- namely eat better and exercise *consistently*
And...
A part of us doesn't want to do those things, such as:
1) We're unwilling to give up our favorite foods. (You don't have to! In fact, never indulging isn't sustainable. We teach our clients how to eat their favorite foods while still losing weight. Fit and happy is the goal. Not fit and miserable.)
2) We're unwilling to exercise for hours per day. (You don't have to! In fact, many of our clients don't exercise at all. 70-80% of your results will come from what, why and how you eat. This is why you see people in the gym month after month working their butts off -- even with a personal trainer -- not looking any different. It's what you do between exercise sessions that matters most. Remember that NY Times article I shared a few weeks back?)
This causes cognitive dissonance -- here in referred to as CD.
My definition of cognitive dissonance (CD): the discomfort we feel when we have two conflicting desires.
Now that we have these two conflicting desires there will always be CD.
Unless...
1. We actually eat right and exercise consistently (this is the hardest thing to do) aka take action.
2. We find ways to rationalize NOT taking action (this is the easiest and most common thing to do).
Some things we say to ourselves:
"I'll wait until I have more time." "I'll wait until things settle down." "Being healthy and fit isn't all it's cracked up to be." "I only live once. (YOLO!)" And on and on and on and on and on.
The rationalizations we come up with make perfect sense in our minds...until they don't.
The purpose of these rationalizations: To reduce the CD -- this is known as dissonance reduction.
Until we start to see through them.
Until we see a picture of ourselves (if we let ourselves even be in one!). Or we look in the mirror the wrong way. Or we step on the scale. Or we try something on and we hate how we look and feel.
And suddenly, we wish we were in better shape. We wish we had more energy. We wish we could move better. We wish we felt better.
We realize that desire never went away. We just covered that desire up with a pile of rationalizations.
TWO WAYS TO GET WHAT YOU WANT
Actually getting what you want aka doing the work necessary to get it or changing what you want aka rationalizing with ourselves that we don't really want it -- whatever "it" might be.
We do this with so many aspects of our lives. Not only in fitness.
THE ROADMAP TO SUCCESS (AND HAPPINESS)
Chris Paul, the all-star point guard for the Los Angeles Clippers, said this after winning a game last season:
"It's good when you win. I told everyone on the team, the food tastes better. The music sounds better. You sleep a little bit better. Everything is a little bit better when you win. We just have to keep it going."
Even if you're not a basketball fan this resonates.
For him...winning is simply winning basketball games. But it's also way more fun. Everything is better. LIFE is better.
For us, I think, winning (and happiness) is working towards what we truly desire, and getting more of what we really want.
So many people have these desires yet never act on them. Not taking consistent action on something that we want (as much as our short term / irrational mind tries to convince us otherwise) doesn't feel good. It wears on us.
I think a part of why our clients report being so much happier (besides the obvious of looking/feeling better, etc.,) is because they're finally taking consistent action on something that's so important to them. Something they've been wanting to, and meaning to, focus on for a long time but kept putting off.
Either you're working towards what you really want or you're not.
**
THE ONLY WAY TO CHANGE YOUR OUTCOMES IS TO CHANGE YOUR ACTIONS
If you keep on eating and exercising the way you always have, you're going to keep on looking and feeling the way you always do.
Changing our actions is very hard because it's uncomfortable.
Change by nature is uncomfortable.
For example, typically, if a plate of cookies appeared in front of us, we'd dig in.
The more comfortable thing to do in the moment -- the easiest thing to do - would be to take a few cookies and eat them.
The harder -- the more uncomfortable thing to do -- would be to skip the cookies and save our indulgences for when it's really and truly worthwhile. (Again, this isn't about never indulging. That's not sustainable!)
HOW DO WE KNOW IF OUR ACTIONS ARE LEADING US IN THE RIGHT WAY?
Whenever we have a choice -- let's try to choose the harder -- the more uncomfortable route -- the majority of the time.
In other words: Discomfort is your compass.
(A client once told me, "Discomfort is your compass" perfectly sums up every single thing he's ever read/watched/attended on personal development. Love that! :)
If you do, success will happen. You will get more of what you want.
Because when you're changing your actions, your outcomes will change too.
**
THE REAL PURPOSE OF "WINNING"
No this isn't a Charlie Sheen reference. The real purpose of winning -- of getting more of what we want in our lives is increased happiness.
And we have two choices:
We can either remain where we are, or we can work towards what we really want for ourselves -- even though it'll require some effort, work and discomfort.
Do you think Chris Paul is regretting the effort and discomfort he's endured to get to where he is?
Too often we give up what we most want for what we (mistakenly) think we want in the moment -- less discomfort. We wind up trading short term discomfort for deep discomfort later on.
THE MAGIC INGREDIENT
And yes, I'm extremely biased. But you know what? I've seen what it can do for so many people, for so many years now. (It's going to be 9 years this February!)
It's daily and personal accountability + support + a system to monitor and track your progress along with our proven methods and expertise. This makes the inevitable discomfort we're going to feel a lot more -- dare I say -- comfortable.
Otherwise, it's very hard to sustain the effort required in order to get to where you want to be. Otherwise, it's very hard to consistently push through the discomfort.
I don't say this to scare you. I say it because it's the way it is. And I know you want the truth.
Again...
Change by nature is uncomfortable. If we do what we usually do, it'll feel...comfortable. If we do something differently, it'll feel...uncomfortable. (Until, it becomes your new comfortable. That's the goal.)
There's a reason why the most successful people in all walks of life have a ton of support.
**
Question for you: Are you in the same place you were a year ago? Are you in the same place you were on January 1st?
You know what's uncomfortable? Admitting that you might need some help. That takes some courage. (Perhaps, it's getting over your ego.)
It's fascinating to me how many people would prefer to "jog in place" when it comes to their health and fitness year after year -- rather than get some help and get the body they've always dreamed of -- in a way that is completely sustainable -- once and for all.
Few reasons why people do this:
1) Well, it's uncomfortable (just want to make sure you're paying attention here!)
2) They think they can do it themselves (again). Don't you think if they could have done it themselves, they would have?
3) They feel like they know what to do. Knowing what to do, and actually doing it, are very, very different.
4) They're scared of what they're going to have to give up. They're not going to have to give up as much as you think. Also, what about all that they're gaining?
5) They're relying on motivation. Motivation is very powerful. The problem is that it's not reliable. Think about how many diets you've started. It's easy to START a diet. It's hard to keep on going. That's because of motivation. Motivation isn't sustainable.
6) They're relying on willpower. "Okay, starting today"...Sound familiar? Like motivation, willpower isn't sustainable. Most diets get harder and harder with time. A great diet gets easier and easier with time. Why? Because you're learning how to change your relationship with food. You're learning the right mindset along with the necessary habits and behaviors to sustain the weight loss.
7) The only thing they're changing is the food they're eating. If the only thing they're changing is the food they're eating, they're not going to change for the long term. This is what I call a "food diet". These never work. You can read more about this by clicking here.
IF YOU'RE TRULY HONEST WITH YOURSELF...
Will you be able to continually push through the discomfort? Will you be able to consistently put forth the effort? Will you learn how to change your relationship with food? Will you develop the right mindset and habits to lose weight and it keep it off?
Again, don't you think if you could, you would have already? I don't say this to be self-serving. I sincerely don't.
I say this because there's nothing more important than your health and fitness goals. I want you to reach your goals -- whether it's with MBT or not. I mean that. Because I know how life changing it can and will be. It will literally impact every area of your life in such a positive way. (Read Janice's amazing success story.)
I want you to get the help, support and expertise you deserve so you can reach your goals, sustain them and move on with your life. Too many people have the same "resolutions" year after year.
Do I want you to join MBT? Of course! Because I sincerely believe we have the best program out there. I know it'll be the last diet/program you ever "do".
So much so that I guarantee your results. Try MBT for a full month. If you're not seeing/feeling results and/or not happy with the path you're on...you get your money back. It's that simple. That's how much I believe in what we offer. I want this to be a no-brainer for you. It's why I've removed all the risk for you. Okay, enough selling. I think you get the point. I'm only pushing because I know we can help you once and for all. If we've been able to help all these people, we can help you too!
Uncomfortably yours,
-Adam