Waiting for the Stars to Align

I'm not going to lie. It's been a really rough week for me. My cousin passed away on Friday of a massive heart attack.

And then last night my mom told me our beloved George was going to be put to sleep this morning. She was hysterical crying. I was crying. We're all a mess. We've always had dogs but none have been quite like George.

He was 200+ pounds, however, he was the biggest teddy bear in the world. He was the most friendly and docile dog, too. I could literally stick my hand in his mouth while he was eating and he wouldn't do anything.

To be brutally honest (we all need some brutal honesty right?) life sometimes is a motherf***er. It's hard!

No one said it's easy.

I was trading emails back and forth with a very wise client and I asked her if there's any way to prepare for the death of a loved one after she was telling me about her experiences with the deaths of her loved ones. And although I took a death and dying class in college, the thought of death still absolutely terrifies me.

She said, "None that I know of. Death is inevitable, as are losses and sorrow."

As I read that, I immediately thought, "Tough times are inevitable, too."

So many of us latch on to the tough times so we don't have to continue pushing ahead.

Here is the truth: Change is hard. Change is scary. Change is very uncomfortable. After all, it's change!

Our short term, irrational mind is always fighting to maintain some sort of homeostasis. It hates change! It hates when you do things differently. It'll find anything it can latch on to so you don't have to keep forging ahead.

The uncomfortable feelings we face are known as cognitive dissonance. When we have conflicting thoughts and desires: "I want to relax and watch TV and eat whatever I want yet I want to be healthy and fit and feel energized." That tension creates an uncomfortable feeling.

So, as we usually do, we find something (we have to!) to latch on to so we don't feel bad about not taking the action we know we should (and in our heart of hearts) take.

This way we don't feel as bad. We naturally delude ourselves. This is how we function and survive.

Most people find one thing after another to latch on to. Whether it's the weather, or a great TV show it's ALWAYS something.

Here's another truth: "There will always be something pulling us away from what our heart of hearts wants us to do."

I'm not saying you can't be upset. I'm a wreck right now. And I'm not divulging this for any reason but the fact that we're always going to be on the look out for that thing to latch on to.

It's natural.

The question isn't if shit will happen to us. Because it will.

The question is are you going to give in when it does?


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