Why change is so scary

The reality we all face is that if we keep doing what we’ve always done, we’re going to keep looking and feeling the way we always have.

That means we need to do things differently. That means we need to change.

Many of us find it hard to embrace change, though. Just the thought of change can make us tense up—even change we know is good for us!

The truth is that change by nature is uncomfortable.

Why? Well, if you do what you usually do, that will feel comfortable.

If you do something differently, that will, by nature, feel uncomfortable simply because we're not used to doing it. (Until we are, and it becomes comfortable.)

We all want change as much as we fear it.

"I don't like my job, but I don't know what else I'd do." "I don't like my s/o but I’m afraid to be alone." “I hate how I feel after overeating, but I’m scared to give up the comfort/escape of food."

Change can be paralyzing at times. Many people would prefer to keep doing what they’ve always done, even if they know it’s not right, because it’s what they’re used to doing. Because it’s...comfortable.

Ever watch one of those business makeover shows? Ultimately, those shows are about helping the owner overcome their fear of change. Every owner knows what they're doing is wrong, yet they can't stop themselves. They keep doing what they know—even though it's causing their business to fail.

Humans are so resistant to change, from doing something unfamiliar us, that we’re literally willing to risk our lives to avoid it.


In his wonderful book, The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves, psychoanalyst Stephen Grosz tells the story of Marissa Panigrosso, who worked on the 98th floor of the South Tower of the World Trade Center. She recalled that when the first plane hit the North Tower on September 11, 2001, a wave of hot air came through her glass windows as intense as opening a pizza oven.

She did not hesitate. She didn't even pick up her purse, make a phone call, or turn off her computer. She walked quickly to the nearest emergency exit, pushed through the door and began the ninety-eight-stairway descent to the ground.

What she found curious is that far more people chose to stay right where they were.

They made outside calls, and even an entire group of colleagues went into their previously scheduled meeting.

Why would they choose to stay in such a vulnerable place in such an extreme circumstance?

Because they were human beings, and human beings find change extremely difficult—practically impossible. To leave without being instructed to leave was a risk.

What were the chances of another plane hitting their tower, really? And if they did leave, wouldn’t their colleagues think that they were overreacting, running in fear? They should stay calm and wait for help, maintaining an even keel.

And that’s what they did. I probably would have too.

Grosz suggests that the reason every single person in the South Tower didn’t immediately leave the building is that they did not have a familiar story in their minds to guide them.

We want to know what new story we’re stepping into before we exit the old one. We don’t want an exit if we don’t know exactly where it is going to take us, even – or perhaps especially – in an emergency.

Even among those people who chose to leave, there were some who went back to the floor to retrieve personal belongings they couldn’t bear to part with. One woman was walking down alongside Marissa Panigrosso when she stopped herself and went back upstairs to get the baby pictures of her children left on her desk. To lose them was too much for her to accept.

The decision was fatal.

Our impulse is to stay safe by doing what we’ve always done before. To change our course of action seems far riskier than to keep on keeping on. To change anything about our lives, even our choice of toothpaste, causes great anxiety.

I think it is because change requires loss. And the prospect of loss is far more powerful than potential gain. It’s difficult to imagine what a change will do to us.

We want to know what new story we’re stepping into before we exit the old one. We don’t want an exit if we don’t know exactly where it is going to take us, even in an emergency.


Powerful, right?

Our impulse is to stay “safe” by doing what we've always done. Even if we know it’s causing us harm. To change anything about our lives - even our choice of toothpaste – can cause discomfort.

Two questions for you to think about:

1) Are you waiting for the perfect time to start focusing on your health?

2) If someone was guaranteeing your weight loss, why wouldn't you do it?

Think about it for a second.

Ultimately, it boils down to fear of change.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard something along the lines of:

"The program sounds incredible!" "This is exactly what I need!" "I love the idea of daily and personal accountability!" but...

But what?

Spoiler Alert: The stars never align. There will never be a perfect time. Life only gets busier.

We love to talk about all the things we're going to do when the time is right.

A year ago, you wanted to lose weight. Today, you want to lose weight. If you're truly honest with yourself where do you think you'll be 3 months from now?

We’d rather delude ourselves and come up with some sort of rationalization to make ourselves feel better about not taking action.

The truth is: We never feel entirely ready to make a change. The people who have the most success in anything don’t wait for the “right time.” They decide they’re going to make it the right time.

I know you know this. And I understand your doubts. They’re perfectly normal. All of us feel doubt and uncertainty before we try something new, especially after trying so many things.

The sad truth is, most people let these doubts control them.

In my experience, there's two types of doubts:

1) I believe in MyBodyTutor and love what you offer. I'm just unsure it'll work for me.

2) I don't believe I will do what needs to be done. I don't trust myself to follow through.

Both are really about people's lack of trust in themselves. I understand how you feel. It’s why I made it a no-brainer for you to try us by offering a money back guarantee.

I know what we offer works. The key to making it work is you believing you can make it work. You'll believe you can make it work when we come up with a customized plan for you that is totally doable. We're going to make sure you feel comfortable from the start. Not to mention, we'll be with you every step of the way. This makes all the difference, and it's why we get the results we do.

My confidence in what we do is a result of how many people we’ve helped since 2007. I sincerely believe MyBodyTutor is the best program out there. And it’s not just because I say it is.

It’s because of the incredible results we’ve been able to get for our clients. It’s based on what our clients have tried before MyBodyTutor and what they’re telling us.

I promise this isn't as scary or as hard you might think it is. We're going to be with you every step of the way.

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