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A client feels she's entitled to eat whatever she wants. However, she hates how she feels afterward.
Let's explore this a little:
Absolutely! We're all entitled to eat whatever we want. You can eat 5 cookies or 1000 cookies a day. And guess what? No one can stop you!
But unfortunately every single action we take has a consequence. Whether we take no action at all (that's still action) or do take action - there is a consequence which can be a good one or bad one.
That's our choice. (The action part.)
Not only will you feel like crap afterward, but you'll also hate how you look later.
Which leads me to the now versus later mentality.
So many of us live in the "I want it yesterday mentality" or only thinking about today. As Daniel Gilbert points out in his book Stumbling on happiness the major difference between human beings and every other organism is that we think about the past, present and future.
Thinking about the future causes us to act differently. But so many people 'must,' 'need,' or 'want' that cookie now. Then when it comes time to get dressed up, or put on a bathing suit, or take our shirts off we scream and cry and hate how we look and feel.
Now versus later. The only way to look good later is to eat healthy now. Of course, you can't eat healthy later now...because now is...well, now!
Just as much as we're entitled to eat whatever we want, we're entitled to feel however we want. And if you feel you're entitled to eat whatever you want, you're going to feel bad later on.
Thinking about how you want to feel helps a lot. I asked this client, "Have you ever felt better from eating junk than you have from eating healthy food?" She replied, "Of course not. I hate how I feel when I eat junk!"
Exactly. And until eating junk makes me feel better than eating healthy, I will keep doing what I do. I will keep fighting.
If you focus on how you want to feel, and think about how certain foods make you feel physically and mentally it becomes so much easier to say no to a 5 minute high as opposed to an all day high.
This client is letting food own her. She isn't in control...yet.
I will remind you of this: Food is only food. It's not your best friend. It's not your worst friend. It's only food!
Living for food is unreliable. It's not sustainable nor is it healthy. It's a dysfunctional relationship.
If you had a friend that made you feel awful after you spoke with him/her....and then made you feel guilty so you wanted to speak to him/her again to try to get rid of the awful feeling you got...you'd call that an abusive relationship. (And if you wouldn't, it is.)
Food is only food.
Focus on how you want to feel. You're absolutely entitled to eat whatever you want but remember every action has a consequence.
Your body never lies. And when you really listen to your body (not your mind) you'll want to make it feel as good as you can.
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